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Original poster

Postman - embarrassing situation

34 replies

aberdeenkath · 09/04/2015 21:20

I had a package delivered this morning, that I signed for, from a well known website which sells 'adult products'.
The postman has been delivering to me for a few years and we generally exchange small talk. I noticed this morning he looked a little 'embarrassed' as I was signing...
When I brought my package into the house I saw that the parcel was ripped (as if torn on machinery) and the packaging which was showing left very little to the imagination !
How on earth do I face this lovely (near retirement) chap again

OP posts:

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 09/04/2015 21:21

Just say it's a present for your granny

Zillie77 · 09/04/2015 21:25

Hah! Hilarious! Give him a little wink the next time you see him. It probably gave him a nice thrill.

Branleuse · 09/04/2015 21:29

complain to the company that you bought it from.

pretend it never happened. Carry on with small talk.

What was it?

Original poster

aberdeenkath · 09/04/2015 21:36

A vibrator
No point in complaining to the company I bought from as it obviously never left their depot like that. Looks like its been caught in something at the sorting office bit of oil there

OP posts:

hoobypickypicky · 09/04/2015 21:38

Tell him you're sorry the sorting office spoiled his birthday surprise?

Branleuse · 09/04/2015 21:38

ah well. Most women have one im sure. Im sure hes not that shocked

Fearless91 · 09/04/2015 21:39

The same way you face him every other time he delivers you something?

SassyPasty · 09/04/2015 21:42

When packages are damaged the sorting office put them into special bags with details printed on them informing you to check the contents are as they should be, if not ring this number etc. They don't deliver packages with the contents on show.

MadeMan · 09/04/2015 21:44

I think your postman must have been a bit rubbish at sneaking a peak at his christmas presents when he was a young boy. You're not meant to rip the wrapping paper, just unfold a little where there's no sticky tape.

Seriously though, don't these adult companies usually box the items inside thick cardboard boxes, rather than wrap them literally in easily tearable brown paper or whatever?

Hymencowell · 09/04/2015 21:46

This has really cheered me up.. Haha id make a joke of it! Say something like oh only clean post today then ??

star8369 · 09/04/2015 21:47

my friend once asked me if I would accept a delivery for her at my address as she wasnt going to be home to receive it, I was wondering why the postman couldn't look me in the eye and rushed off as soon as I signed for it until I checked and she had the name on the parcel as prof my name luvsdildo

MadeMan · 09/04/2015 21:48

Or next time you answer the door to him, stand a bit bandy legged or walk off like Charlie Chaplin.

blueberrypie0112 · 09/04/2015 21:54

I would complain to the company about lack of privacy.

Slowtrain2dawn · 09/04/2015 22:53

I once ordered something similar, whilst pretty drunk, ok it was an Ann Summers party... It was delivered to the party organiser. She handed it to me on the school run a few days later in front of others. It was in a plastic wrapper, no box which left NOTHING to the imagination. Mortified doesn't come close. You have my sympathy.

Original poster

aberdeenkath · 09/04/2015 22:55

OMG
I've had a couple of glasses of wine (off work tomorrow) and can now have a good giggle at my situation .... only trouble is, I will be sober by the time the post arrives again :-)

OP posts:

SelfLoathing · 10/04/2015 00:36

Is this a serious question?
Firstly "embarrassed" is just in your head. Really? are you so naïve and self obsessed that you think that a mini-peek into a vibrator parcel is the worst he's seen or would even raise an eyebrow.

second, his job is delivering crap - the contents is of no interest. Your embarrassment is not something that figures in his life.

third, even if both of the above are totally wrong - he's an adult man - and - do you know what? People have sex. Shock. Call in the paparazzi.

fourth, "face the postman" - it's a service job and you don't need to clap eyes on him. generally big parcels are delivered by a delivery company not the postman. in so far as it's proper post, just leave a note on the door as to where to leave it.

Honestly this is should be in the dictionary under "not third world problems".

Ratfinkandbobo · 10/04/2015 00:49

Tell him you highly recommend it and to buy his lady one
Or man if that's the case!

DustyMaiden · 10/04/2015 01:49

I once opened the door to the postman, I was wearing a dressing gown and pants. The postman tripped and fell in the door reached out and grabbed my gown. The result was him laying at my feet clutching the gown and me standing in the hall in just my pants. That was embarasing.

MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched · 10/04/2015 01:57

If he is near retirement then chances are he's had an awful lot more sex than you over the years.

Just pretend it never happened.

Fearless91 · 10/04/2015 10:03

I agree with selfloathing I really don't see any point in this?

His job is to delivery parcels. He probably didn't give two hoots what was in the box it's probably just your imagination. Stop fretting over something that is absolutely nothing.

Hobbitwife001 · 10/04/2015 10:32

Oh MadeMan PMSL.

MiniTheMinx · 10/04/2015 11:32

Just smile and say "I always get a buzz when the post arrives"

It's really a very silly thing to get fixated on.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/04/2015 12:14

Look on the bright side ... it could have been your window cleaner, after seeing you actually using the thing

DoTheDuckFace · 10/04/2015 12:36

I am sure he didn't notice or care but if you are really so embarrassed I suggest moving house to somewhere not on his route

SnotQueen · 10/04/2015 12:42

I'm not sure I'd want to use a vibrator that had been delivered in an open package -what if it's tainted with post germs!!
Do what Mini said - that's hilarious.

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