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Original poster

Distant after sex

44 replies

WineIsFineAtNine · 08/04/2015 20:44

So I met a guy on twitter and we seemed to have loads in common. Anyway, we got talking, exchanged numbers, added each other on FB etc. He asked me to see a show with him in London. We hit it off straight away and after the show he asked whether I'd like to go for something to eat so we went for dinner and had a great talk and food. All seemed to be going well until I mentioned I didn't want to miss the last train home then he seemed a bit off with me. Anyway, he ended up inviting me back to his and I (happily) accepted. We had sex, he came REALLY fast (I'm not exaggerating when I say in 7 thrusts, I've never experienced anything like it) and admitted he hadn't had sex in months. He seemed a bit off the next morning (so strange because we got on so well the night before). He made me breakfast then drove me to the station. When I said it was great to have met him and hopefully see him again he just awkwardly smiled and dodged my kiss as I got out of his car (turned into a peck on the cheek). He has replied to my messages since but we're not talking as regularly as we were prior to meeting/having sex. What do you think? Do you think he's embarassed by having cum so quickly? I do like him. The meeting was never explicitly set out as a date so I'm feeling so confused.

OP posts:
glittertits · 08/04/2015 20:45

I think he doesn't give a flying fuck about how quickly he came.

He came, that is what matters. You have served your purpose to him. I doubt very much that you will see him again.

It sounds like he was after the shag and not the relationship. Sorry OP Thanks

AnxiousWreck · 08/04/2015 20:47

Is he starting the conversations, or are you?

Is it possible he thought this was a one night stand?

Original poster
WineIsFineAtNine · 08/04/2015 20:50

I'm starting the conversations. I'm not sure, because it was never set out as a date, more of a 'here's a show we're both interested in so it would be great to meet you and see it together'. I said I would like to see him again as I got out of his car so I don't think it would seem like a one night stand? Possibly have just been used for sex. But he is a very shy and awkward kind of guy.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 20:51

Stop making excuses for his shabby treatment of you

Move on

Original poster
WineIsFineAtNine · 08/04/2015 21:02

It's his birthday next week, is a happy birthday text a bit clingy? I should move on but I just don't see why he changed so dramatically, we didn't have flirty conversations prior to the sex or anything so it's not like he thought he was guaranteed a shag (although the sulking when I mentioned the train implies he wanted it).

OP posts:
Jokerstotheright · 08/04/2015 21:06

There are a few threads on here at the moment (one on AIBU) where the guy has disappeared after sex and the woman is wondering where it all went wrong, might he have misunderstood her feelings, maybe his phone has died and he can't contact her, should she contact him one more time, etc, etc.

Sorry but it is so obvious to the rest of us. He has had his shag, now he's moving on. Leave it.

SoleSource · 08/04/2015 21:12

His behaviour is odd, something you are not guilty of. You don't need a man mess, just forget him.

lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:13

Maybe he's not even single?

lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:14

Ps - men who come after 7 thrusts are shit in bed - you can do a lot better than that. What about your enjoyment? There is no excuse for coming that quickly unless he's a 15 year old virgin, no matter how long ago he had sex.

ALaughAMinute · 08/04/2015 21:18

The male ego is a funny thing, especially where sex is concerned. He may have decided to ditch you but I think it's more likely that he was embarrassed about how quickly he came. I wouldn't bother texting him again if I were you. You've made your position clear and if he doesn't want to see you again then let him go.

AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 21:20

Yup, the male ego truly is a laughable thing.

lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:25

I think a laugh a minute may have hit the nail on the head. This happened to me, except it was even worse. The guy concerned seemed really into me, bought me meals over several weeks (insisted). Then when we tried to have sex I got as far as touching him and he came. Like American Pie except I can't even console myself with the fact I look like Shannon Elizabeth! He seemed very embarrassed and I probably didn't help the situation by asking him if he could manage to last longer next time! After that he was very awkward with me and it fizzled out.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 21:26

Ye gods. This is not the behaviour of an embarrassed man, this is the behaviour of a man who can't be arsed. (For whatever reason)
Sorry op.

lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:27

Did he do anything for you op, go down on you or anything?

Original poster
WineIsFineAtNine · 08/04/2015 21:28

I think he is single, I stayed at his house and there wasn't anything 'couple-ey' there. Except for baby wipes in the bathroom which were a bit suspect, but he has recently got back from traveling so they could be from that. He did seem embarrassed, at first he said 'maybe we could do it again later' (I was in a state of shock that a grown man could come so soon, really in all my years I've never experienced anything like it) then he announces 'it won't happen tonight, maybe in the morning' but by the morning he was cold and odd! He made breakfast for me then when I mentioned I would get the train in abOut an hours time he said 'I can drive you to the station whenever', so I felt he wanted me to go ASAP (left 10 minutes later). The male ego is a minefield. Do men really get that embarassed?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 21:29

just the crap ones

JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 21:30

No.

Original poster
WineIsFineAtNine · 08/04/2015 21:30

Please I'm not alone in this! Maybe we shagged the same man! Was he from South London? Didn't go down on me, just basic stuff with his hands and feeling me up then said 'shall I get on top?'. Hardly the stuff of fantasies but he was an interesting guy so I would be willing to overlook and work on it. But no, he's awkward with me and hasn't messaged me.

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 21:32

He's not embarrassed- why do you think that? He doesn't give a shit.

A nice embarrassed man would say-"I'm going to make it up to you when I'm sober, tmrw, whatever..."

SinglePringle · 08/04/2015 21:33

Reiterating what most have already said - he's just not that into you.

He's shown you who he is: believe him - He's an arse. And a crap shag. Move on and thank the good lord you've had a lucky escape.

lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:35

Omg - that sounds awful. I've had sex with quite a few men who came quickly - they are memorable for all the wrong reasons. And they also were rubbish at pleasuring me. These men are on,y interested in their own orgasms.

AnyFucker · 08/04/2015 21:37

One incident of thrust and squirt does not a crap shag make

His subsequent behaviour is what makes him a nob

SycamoreMum · 08/04/2015 21:37

He was shit in bed Hmm He's done you a favour by slowly retreating. Sorry but thats a huge deal breaker for me. If it didn't bother you and you really like him be upfront and ask him out again.

glittertits · 08/04/2015 21:37

Agree with John. Embarrassed men apologise and make it their mission to prove themselves - show you he's not crap a second or third time.

He doesn't care. He's a good actor is all. By the harsh light of morning he couldn't be arsed to act anymore.

lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:38

No but his lack of willingness to please the op would give a bigger picture of what he's like at sex. And yes, you're right about subsequent behaviour.

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