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Original poster

NC father has sent a "goodbye" email. Ignore?

29 replies

CaulkheadUpNorth · 07/04/2015 21:39

We've been no contact for about six weeks. He has sent me two emails during that time, and I've opened them when I've felt ready. I opened one tonight he sent, and it just says "Goodbye".

My gut reaction is to ignore it, but I'm slightly concerned it could be a way of saying he is going to kill himself, and if that is the case, do I have a responsibility or something to contact someone?

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 07/04/2015 21:41

Oh Yes - ignore it. You have no responsibility for him. (He's only trying to stir you up again.)

cozietoesie · 07/04/2015 21:43

PS - are you prepared yet to block his emails? (If your provider allows you to do that as most do.)

GoodtoBetter · 07/04/2015 21:43

I've followed a bit of your story Caulk and my gut reaction would be that this message is designed to get a reaction out of you. I know it's worrying for you, but this excuse for a man will never kill himself. Even if he did (which he won't) it will be nobody's fault and nobody's decision but his own. If he makes any out and out threats to top himself, then contact the emergency services with that information. But the best thing is to ignore this hoovering.

pocketsaviour · 07/04/2015 21:43

You know the score! Ignore ignore ignore!
Pockets gets poetic Grin

ouryve · 07/04/2015 21:43

If you're in contact with someone who is in contact withhim, pass it on.

Otherwise, ignore.

MerryKat · 07/04/2015 21:45

Phone police and ask them to do a welfare check if you are worried. You dont have to get drawn in to it.

Original poster
CaulkheadUpNorth · 07/04/2015 21:45

I'm not planning on blocking them, although I probably could. They go through to an old email account which I check every few days. I only noticed this one as I was trying to change the settings on that account!

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 07/04/2015 21:46

I would call Police and get it logged, because I'd feel bad if i didn't and something happened.

I have never been in this position though, so only saying what I think I'd do, it's probably not what others would advise.

JennyOnTheBlocks · 07/04/2015 21:46

he wants you to worry about HIM, he has no concern about how you are

ignore, or do like ouryve says and forward it on to a 3rd party

FromMeToYou · 07/04/2015 21:47

Do you mean he sent it tonight or sometime during the last 6 weeks and you've opened it tonight?

Original poster
CaulkheadUpNorth · 07/04/2015 21:48

He sent it tonight.

Thanks for the responses folks.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 07/04/2015 21:49

I think you should consider blocking them. Most email providers allow you to do that automatically. (I'd say 'all' email providers but I haven't used every single one so I can't be certain about all of their procedures.)

OttiliaVonBCup · 07/04/2015 21:49

Call the police.

It needs to be checked out.

Silverdaisy · 07/04/2015 21:50

I would call the non emergency police line and explain the circumstances. They will decide to send someone round. If he is in need of mental health help they will call.

twirlypoo · 07/04/2015 21:50

Is there any one you can pass the responsibility of this on to? A family member, even your other half? I think it's designed to get a reaction from you, but I'd prob want to check it out anyway if it was me.

I'm sorry your having this shit though Thanks

Silverdaisy · 07/04/2015 21:51

Sorry meant they will call the appropriate services.

ImperialBlether · 07/04/2015 21:52

Look, he knows that this will put the wind up you and is the quickest way to get you to respond.

Ignore him. Surprisingly, he will live for many more years and take regular opportunities to make you feel guilty.

MummySparkle · 07/04/2015 21:52

Ask the police to do a welfare check, and ignore. He will soon realise that you will do that each time, but not return contact. Be strong and ignore x

GoatsDoRoam · 07/04/2015 22:15

What makes you think that "goodbye" is a suicide threat, or suicide note? Has he voiced the threat to kill himself before?

I would read it just as him wanting to have the last word about being NC - making it his idea, iyswim. Out of pride.

GoatsDoRoam · 07/04/2015 22:16

So yes, ignore.

FrankTurnersGuitar · 07/04/2015 22:24

Sounds like an attempt at manipulating.
It's his way to try and get you to change the NC.
As hard as it is I'd ignore, block his emails.
However I don't know the background of the NC.

Original poster
CaulkheadUpNorth · 07/04/2015 22:29

He has made a big deal of being depressed in the past, and has said he cannot live without me (but in a s abusive way) which has made me think that's the way he is saying it. But yea, it may just be his way of saying that he won't be in contact either.

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 07/04/2015 22:31

I think ignore. It might depend on any previous suicidal attempt / talk by this person. But I wouldn't think to contact the police based only on the information given.

drudgetrudy · 07/04/2015 22:36

I wouldn't get personally involved but would consider phoning the police if he has a history of saying he's depressed.

Original poster
CaulkheadUpNorth · 07/04/2015 22:42

I have bipolar, so I know I might not see it in the same way as others, but his depression is more of the "oh I'm so depressed, woe is me" type than actual clinical depression.

OP posts:
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