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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How to split up???

57 replies

Levismum · 06/04/2015 23:42

Dp & I have been together almost 17yrs. 4 dc. I've tried to split up with him quite a few times but I give in as i feel sorry for him.

He's very passive aggressive. No family. No friends so he'll be on his own but i can't spend another 17 years with him.

So how do i actually make him go & deal with the practical side of separating.
TIA.

OP posts:

whattodoforthebest2 · 17/04/2015 12:44

Btw, how lucky are your kids to have a mum like you? You're doing a great job.

Isetan · 17/04/2015 13:39

I missed your updates, I'm so sorry.

Just because the depths of his shittyness was no surprise, it doesn't lesson the shock of the reality. You can do this because you have been doing it to a
large extent. Gather as much information about benefits and support as possible and steel yourself for the fight it is going take, to ensure you and your boys are adequately supported.

Once again, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you need your boys.

Original poster

Levismum · 19/04/2015 15:32

Thanks whattodo & Isetan.

Your posts really helped. I took the dc out for a few hours as it's the last day of the holidays. Exdp was here. He's taken everything he ever purxchased. He's left the sofas as they are knackered. TV, kids TV, coffee machine, Lap top, printer & DVD player. Even ds 10 ( ASD & ADHD) XBOX. He's left me a photocopy of all the receipts with a short note...

Didn't even know he'd had a spare key cut. I will change the barrel tomorrow, he won't get in here again. He reckons he's coming back for the car next weekend!

I have never felt the urge to punch or kick or hurt someone like the way I want to right now!!!

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 19/04/2015 17:55

Hide the car. Park it in a long-stay carpark at the airport, or something.

And, actually, ring the police on the non-emergency number and have a chat with them. For him to take the children's things could be considered theft. And possibly trespass as well: he moved out of the house, you didn't know he had a key. It might be possible to get a police officer to go round to whereever he is living and at least give him a scare.

Original poster

Levismum · 19/04/2015 19:35

It's my car. In my name. He gave me about 4k towards it. I paid the other 10k on it. It was the onky time the tight git ever fave me anything!
I have hid the spare key but if he takes it. I will report him for TDA, if he takes it. I can't function on a daily basis without the car.

He's such an arsehole...who keeps receipts for every item including stuff 6/7 years old. A second hand xbox that a child with asd plays on...

He's an idiot!

OP posts:

Original poster

Levismum · 19/04/2015 19:36

Sorry for typos I'm on my phone.

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 19/04/2015 20:35

Right, if he does take the car that is definitely theft.
And also, set the CSA on him. Even if he's on benefits, his benefit will be docked if he refuses to pay. He's a shit, so don't give him an inch, do everything legally and go hard.

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