I'll try to keep this short.
Me and dh have been married for almost 10 years, throughout that time mil has been difficult but I've been tolerant because I don't like confrontation and she's dh mum and I don't want him caught in the middle. I think I've been more than fair considering (and this is the short list)
she hijacked our wedding and when we arrived at the reception there were people that Neither me or dh knew, she'd invited friends from work.
When we got married I was 16 weeks pregnant, and she was telling everyone our child was going to be christened catholic and go to a catholic school, even though me and dh aren't religious and hadn't even thought that far ahead.
Dh earns a good wage and we have savings so decided between us that I would be a sahm, she's contantly telling me I should go back to work.
She slags off my mum.
She has made phone calls to the council pretending to be me to find out about information on our business rates, and how much we had to pay.
She's been into our house and shouted at us because we don't agree with her way if thinking.
Me and dh had a riw and I went to my mums for a couple of days fir a break, mil called my mum and told her she shouldn't be involved and should have made me stay at home.
This is just a small amount of info, lots more has happened, I could write a book.
Most recently, she kept insisting that 9 year old ds should go to karate or football lessons to toughen him up, we've asked him, he doesn't want to, he goes to art club and tennis. When dh told her no, she said "I'll take him and pay for him to go" dh said no again, but typical mil can't take no for an answer. She has been like a broken record for months going on and on about it. Because dh said no she asked me, and then a couple of days later asks dh again, it's like she thinks we'll give in under pressure.
On mothers day she came to ours she took him to one side, (where she thought we couldn't hear) and asked ds if he wanted to go to karate or football.
I didn't say anything at the time but said to dh later that she was out of order, and was trying to undermine us, dh just did his usual shrug if the shoulders.
Two days later she phoned me and said, "I'm just calling to ask about football/karate" I snapped and said "Look, you've asked, we've said no, if ds wants to got to either of those thing he will tell us and we will take him"
she said "oh ok I'll leave it to you" and hung up. She text me later to say, sorry about earlier, I don't want to fall out, Ididn't know I was sticking my nose in, I won't do it again. I text her back saying it's ok I don't want to fall out either and we do appreciate all you do.
Yesterday dh went to see her, and she started going on about how much I'd upset her, she said If stitch ever fucking talks to me like that again, she won't get away with it, to which dh replied well you do go on mum. He said she got stroppy and said "Oh I do, do I?"
I'm upset, I'm angry, firstly that she slagged me off and I wasn't there to defend myself, and secondly because dh didn't really defend me either, he never has, in 10 years
I've always said that he'd sooner upet me than her. I don't want a battle, I don't want her to stay away either, the kids love her, but I've had enough of feeling disrespected as a woman and a mother.
Sorry I know it's long and ranty, please be nice I'm feeling pretty rubbish about evetything.