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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Upset with SIL about gossip

36 replies

sockmonkey · 01/11/2006 08:57

My SIL works at the brokers where we get our insurance. (I used to work there too before I had kids)
The trouble is she has told the family about a situtation with our house insurance. This has got me a bit mad. It's not something I would have shared with the family, but she has posted it on our family website.
It's not the first time she has done it, she told my parents when one of our direct debit payments bounced earlier in the year (cue a phone call from my dad, worried that we were driving around without insurance).

If I was any other client she would get in deep trouble for disclosing info. We cant cancel the insurance & move it elswehere as we would get nothing back.

Would you say anything?

OP posts:

southeastastra · 01/11/2006 08:58

er yes, does she have any sensitivity at all?

hunkermunker · 01/11/2006 08:59

I'd take it to her boss. And post her disciplinary on the family website. Then I'd punch her.

Blackduck · 01/11/2006 08:59

Yes! This is totally out of order. It doesn't matter that you are related this is private business and should not be passed on to anyone else without your say so..Posted on a family website - who the hell does she think she is?!

Blackduck · 01/11/2006 09:00

hunkermunker · 01/11/2006 09:01

Get a job as the receptionist at her local surgery and post about her vaginal warts.

ilovecaboose · 01/11/2006 09:02

SUrely its still illegal regardless of the fact she is your sil?

I would say something. Not sure how you would put it though.

OMG - just reread - she has posted it on your family website

That is too much - tell her that disclosing info on client whether or not she is related to them is in breach of the data protection acts. Point out that you are furious that this has been done on more than one occasion. That you will forgive her this time if she removes it, as she is family. HOwever if she does it again you will do what you would have done b4 if she wasn't family which would be to make an official complaint to her work and to the relevant gov. authority.

MAke heavy on the - if you weren't my sil thing. Otherwise she may come back with - its ok its family. Legallly I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference if she is family.

Hope you get it sorted out.

ilovecaboose · 01/11/2006 09:03

wow I took a really long time to post that - no replies when I started!

tribpot · 01/11/2006 09:07

Yeah - BANG out of order in my view, and to post it on a family website, WTF?

lulumama · 01/11/2006 09:21

sockmonkey

she is in serious breach of any proffsional code of conduct.......in her job, she needs to be discreet.....gossiping about clients is just not on...the fact you are related to her makes it worse IMO....and to put it on a family website>!>!>!>! what on earth was she trying to achieve?

i would not change brokers...but send her employers an e-mail with a link to the site & suggest they have a word about her professional conduct.

sounds like she wants to be 'top dog' within the family...make you look bad & make herself, by default look better...does she dress this gossip us concern for you?

Original poster

sockmonkey · 01/11/2006 09:25

I just didn't want to think I was over-reacting. DH will be furious when he finds out (he doesn't like her anyway)

I just don't know how to confront her about it. She used to bully me a bit when I worked with her, some days I woud come home in tears about it.I think that's why DH has such a problem with her. I hate making a fuss, but she has gone too far.

OP posts:

DelGirl · 01/11/2006 09:28

You should threaten her with legal action, cheeky so and so. I like hunkermumkers idea about becoming a dr's receptionist at her surgery

ilovecaboose · 01/11/2006 09:28

sounds like a bully.

You will have to confront her I think althoguh it will be hard. Unless you just report it to her work - but would that cause more problems?

Can you write her a letter?

Original poster

sockmonkey · 01/11/2006 09:29

lulumama - trying to be top dog does sound like her.
She didn't really post it in a way that was overly concerned, just as a bit of a "by the way" IYKWIM.

OP posts:

DelGirl · 01/11/2006 09:30

If thats the case then I would report it or at least have stern words with her, it's illegal as you know.

hunkermunker · 01/11/2006 09:30

She's overstepped the mark.

And she will keep doing so unless you bang her on her arse.

So phone her boss and say that if she's being this indiscreet about you (and you're family), heaven knows what she's saying about other people.

Normsnockers · 01/11/2006 09:30

Message withdrawn

Waswondering · 01/11/2006 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gigglinggoblin · 01/11/2006 09:34

is she your brothers wife or your husbands sister? if its dhs sister and he is furious i would be tempted to call her boss and complain, that way she cant bully you. if it is your brothers wife and you dont want to upset your brother i would tell him about it and say you will complain if it happens again. then stress you are only not making an official complaint for his sake. what a cow, she cant honestly expect to get away with this behaviour

lulumama · 01/11/2006 09:34

her behavior is that of a bully...she wants to keep exerting the power she felt she had over you while you were working together.....she is ultimately a coward, i bet if you actually confront her and tell her her boss knows...she'll crumble..

see her for what she is..a manipulative , sh*t stirring bully...she has no power..you do! you could tell all to her boss now...she's dropped herself right in it!

Original poster

sockmonkey · 01/11/2006 09:34

We will definately be moving at renewal.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 01/11/2006 09:35

i would be furious

have a word with her face to face and then in front of her boss

she sounds like right smug cow

TinyGang · 01/11/2006 09:40

Agree with all said - she is totally out of order and I'd take it further. And yes, I'd post the outcome on the family website.

Hunker's suggestion is brilliant though

saintAugustine · 01/11/2006 09:43

i would send in a formal complaint and ask for my details to be kept confidential due to the delicate family situation.

that way you would get her in a world of shit and she wouldnt know it was you.
then post about that on the family website.

Original poster

sockmonkey · 01/11/2006 09:45

We can't have a word face to face, we do not live close enough. Wish me luck, I am going to send her an email.

Christmas may get interesting

OP posts:

nailpolish · 01/11/2006 09:46

you can hold your head high though sockmonkey

she should be ashamed of herself

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