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Original poster

Ex on dating site?

30 replies

lovehoneylove · 02/04/2015 01:46

I have been split from my partner for about 8 months now. I have only had one brief 'fling' since we split but I feel that I would like to start dating again soon and was considering joining a dating site as I miss having company, admittedly not just emotionally but the physical side too.
A few months after our spilt, I plucked up the courage to purchase a few 'lady friends' etc but I really need to find something more substantial Wink
My fear though, is that if I joined a site and saw my ex was on it or, worse still, that he saw me on it Blush
Is there anyone else in a similar position or who has had a similar experience?

Do you think I might be looking for something physical too soon?

OP posts:
deana4 · 02/04/2015 01:51

not at all, its been 8 months
I totally understand, would love to put myself 'out there' but always been too scared someone would see me!
Just do it ur entitled to be happy

Original poster
lovehoneylove · 02/04/2015 09:24

I think I probably will. I've been very tempted recently but have always chickened out at the last minute.
I don't know why but the thought of seeing my ex or him seeing me on their fills me with dread lol
I did briefly join a site but just as quickly deleted my account.
Weekends when ex has kids seems to be when I most miss the company - lazy sunday mornings etc are a killer :-/

OP posts:
TheJiminyConjecture · 02/04/2015 09:34

When you sign up (and I think you should) you can search for him then block him. I was worried about people seeing me on there but then realised that they'd have to be on there themselves to find me! Good luck

feministdog · 02/04/2015 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lovehoneylove · 02/04/2015 09:48

"I met some others just for fun, certainly made the lonely times less lonely!"
That's what I'M talking about :-)

OP posts:
Mum4Fergus · 02/04/2015 09:56

As said before, anyone who sees you is in there too so nothing to be ashamed of ... one word of warning to all though, a number of sites and their various guises are affiliated-so signing up to one site could have your profile appearing in any number of sites. I speak from experience having signed up to POF and discovered my profile also appeared on some MILF site...the shame (although it did prove, shall we say, fruitfulWink)

Ouchbloodyouch · 02/04/2015 10:05

Another one here who thought prostitutes! Grin just do it!

TheWhiteRoad · 02/04/2015 10:10

I thought you were a man admitting to using prostitutes too! I was just about to come on and give you what for.

'Lady friends' OP really? Grin You can say 'vibrator' on here. It's OK.

If you join a site an your ex is on it then just block him. Easy to do. no need to stress about it.

Brittapieandchips · 02/04/2015 10:11

I was worried about this, but then ended up finding not just my ex but several of my friends on OKC, tinder and a couple of more 'specialist' websites, and I soon got over it. I either click on, block or send a message saying hi depending on the person and the website.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 02/04/2015 10:29

My ex is on pretty much every online dating site out there (even though he is with someone- whole different story there!) so I felt I couldn't go on any. Didn't even think to block him. Interesting.

spence82 · 02/04/2015 10:31

I don't think you should worry about being embarrassed about being on a dating site at all. Loads of people use them and it's not really a taboo anymore.

Are you worried about seeing your ex because you still have feelings for him?

pocketsaviour · 02/04/2015 10:35

I also thought "lady friends" meant sex workers and was totally confused Grin

I've never seen an ex on a dating website but did once "bump into" an old colleague who I used to manage at work who sent me a message saying he'd "love to get to know your filthy side". I politely replied "sorry but I think that would be too weird!"

spence82 · 02/04/2015 10:39

Yeah sorry about that pocket what was I thinking!!

LividofLondinium · 02/04/2015 11:30

Lovehoney, the sooner you stop giving a shit about what your ex may or may not think should he bump into you OD the sooner you can have some fun! Seriously, what are you fearful of exactly? His opinions of you are totally worthless.

Original poster
lovehoneylove · 02/04/2015 19:25

LOL
Just to clear things up a little, I did NOT purchase prostitutes ! :-o
The clue may be in my username ;-)

OP posts:
QueenBean · 02/04/2015 19:27

Another who thought prostitutes!!

OP, when you search for matches, just go around his perimeters a bit

So if he lives 5 miles away and is 31, search for people within 3 miles and 33 and over

That should stop him coming up for you

mike07 · 02/04/2015 20:00

You could also hide your profile on some sites and only show yourself when you are online or only if you contact somebody, that way nobody can see you.

Pinkballoon · 02/04/2015 20:04

Yes, saw my ex on a dating site seeking a compassionate companion. Think he forgot to mention in his profile that he's already living with a partner. Oh dear! I blocked. However, if they have an inkling that you are on there, they could just set up a fake profile to take a look at you? I've had quite a few of them looking at me since I saw him on there!

Original poster
lovehoneylove · 02/04/2015 20:30

I don't really know how I'd feel if I saw him to be honest. Pretty much over him but think it would still hurt a litle :-(
Anyway, that aside, has anyone any recomendations? What sites do you prefer/ use?

OP posts:
aberdeenkath · 03/04/2015 15:40

I'm with you on that :lovehoneylove:
I find them intriguing but not quite sure how they'd work???

spence82 · 03/04/2015 16:42

I've used a couple before the ones I've tried are smooch and e harmony. Tinder is very popular. Ive not used it but I've heard a lot of people use that one as more of a hook up site than a dating site

Ouchbloodyouch · 04/04/2015 08:00

I struck lucky (so far Wink ) on ok cupid!

LividofLondinium · 04/04/2015 12:32

From what I've read on here, dating sites are all pretty much of a muchness so personally I'd go on free ones and set your twat radar to maximum. There are plenty of threads on here about getting the best from OD and how to avoid the wankers Smile

aberdeenkath · 05/04/2015 08:54

Also considering Online Dating but nervous of being recognised. Not sure why, just a little coy about these things I suppose (friends/ family/ work colleagues etc).
Been very tempted but never gathered up enough courage yet. Also some do seem rather expensive :-/

spence82 · 05/04/2015 11:18

Don't worry about being recognised. If people see you on there its only because they are on there too. I logged back on to a couple of OD sites last night inspired by this thread.