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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What goes around comes around

42 replies

kikki · 30/10/2006 20:49

Does anyone believe in Karma or what goes around comes around? I would like to think that my ex will get his come-up-ance(not sure about the spelling) for all the terrible things he has done to me and our son. The trouble is, it seems to me that he is just waltzing about scot free. I know I shouldn't be sitting around waiting for him to fall from grace but I just get really angry sometimes that he lies and cheats constantly(and not just to me) and yet he never seems to have to answer for it.

OP posts:
StrawberryMoon · 30/10/2006 20:50

i was brought up to beleive that!
hopefully your ex will get his just deserts

RottenOtter · 30/10/2006 20:53

kikki - agood friend told me this a few months ago then i was trying to sort out a very messy head due to ishoos in my past.
i think it is a great thing thing to have a belief in and am using it as a crutch.
you are so much better than him believe it!!

Original poster
kikki · 30/10/2006 20:54

Thanks for strawberrymoon. I just get so angry sometimes. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

OP posts:
Daisypops · 31/10/2006 19:34

Kikki, I defo believe in it. My ex was a complete arse and seemed to be getting away with allsorts but deep down he isn't happy and things started to go wrong for him.

It probably won't happen immediately but I think it will happen.

Me and my mum have spoken about this and if you just sit back and watch it comes back to them. Sometimes its not even that obvious!

StrawberryMoon · 31/10/2006 19:40

and antother one i believe is revenge is a dish best served cold..doesnt mean you have to take revenge, but basically when he's not expecting it..his cumuppance will come-up and bite him on the ass..hopefully[>

winnie · 31/10/2006 19:46

The problem is there are too many nice people going through all kinds of sh*te... so I am sorry, I'd like to believe it, but I don't.

divastrop · 31/10/2006 20:08

would he actually care if anything bad happened to him?alot of people wanted to beat the crap out of my exh but i didnt see the point as he clearly didnt feel any human emotion so nothing like that would affect him.and i didnt care about him enough to hate him.
my xp on the other hand,who i used to get really angry about,especially when i was mopping up his kids puke and shite and he was wandering around wallowing in self pity saying i was a bitch for dumping him,whilst being able to do what the hell he liked,he is getting his comeuppance now because his children have seen him for what he is and refuse to even speak to him.he is up to his eyeballs in debt and i think his gf has left him now.he still probably thinks its all somebody else's fault though.

Pages · 31/10/2006 21:40

Yes, Winnie, but there is a theory that going through shite makes your capacity for enjoyment greater and I really believe that. It goes something along the lines of...the deeper you feel pain, the greater your ability to feel happiness later. If he is as shallow as he sounds Kikki, you will be the winner in the long run...

Pages · 31/10/2006 21:40

Yes, Winnie, but there is a theory that going through shite makes your capacity for enjoyment greater and I really believe that. It goes something along the lines of...the deeper you feel pain, the greater your ability to feel happiness later. If he is as shallow as he sounds Kikki, you will be the winner in the long run...

Original poster
kikki · 31/10/2006 22:23

Thanks for all the positive messages. I heard Oprah saying once that when bad things happen to us, we want to see some sort of retribution NOW. The wrongdoer will get his comeupance at some point but the problem is that we want to see it now,now,now. I know that my son and I are better off it all.

OP posts:
divastrop · 01/11/2006 19:56

it usually happens long after you stop caring

'the deeper sorrow digs into your heart,the more joy it can contain'

i dont know who that was a quote from,i just remember my GCSE RE teacher saying it and i wrote it on my excersise book

Pages · 01/11/2006 21:39

I know that Kalihl Gibran (the Prophet) said it too.

lou33 · 01/11/2006 21:41

i believe in it

Daisypops · 01/11/2006 21:56

I agree with Pages last post. Spot on I reckon!

Original poster
kikki · 01/11/2006 21:56

I have actually got the Prophet by Kahil Gibran and never read it. Off to my book shelf............

OP posts:
rickman · 01/11/2006 21:59

Message withdrawn

2mum · 01/11/2006 22:01

I dont really think this is true. With some people its one bad thing happening after another and some people everthing seems to go right for even if they are a bad person.

expatinscotland · 01/11/2006 22:02

No, I don't believe in karma at all.

I wouldn't waste my time and energy waiting for someone to get theirs.

I've had men who treated me like dog crap and from what I understand, they're doing the same thing years later to others scot free.

That's how it works.

divastrop · 01/11/2006 22:07

rickman-i dont know your circumstances but my exp always said that the kids would hate me cos i stopped them from having a proper father and all that crap.and despite his many efforts to make them hate me,they dont.

i like to believe there is an afterlife of some sort,where those who suffer on earth get rewarded and those who nothing bad ever happens to yet they treat everyone like c**p have to endure eternal damnation

rickman · 01/11/2006 22:20

Message withdrawn

skanger · 01/11/2006 22:24

I believe you reap what you sow!

expatinscotland · 01/11/2006 22:24

Not entirely, rickman, but a lot of it, yes, is at least to a degree under your control.

I find a lot of people are victims b/c they in some part allowed it - I've done this myself, put myself in settings where the odds were going to be heavily stacked against me. I knew this sometimes and still did what I did.

I've found being a victim, letting others make the decisions, coasting along, etc. is easier, too. I'm naturally a lazy person, so I'm really aware of how much this is true.

rickman · 01/11/2006 22:31

Message withdrawn

skanger · 01/11/2006 22:32

no i didnt mean you-i meant him

expatinscotland · 01/11/2006 22:34

yeah but rickman, i don't see that as karma - the child abuse and death of a parent.

but, yeah, i have set myself up - at least in part - for some pretty big falls.

to some, it may look as if i had bad luck or wsent from one disaster to the next.

but i learned from my mistakes AND made and still continue to make a conscious decision not to repeat them.