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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do I deal with this??

47 replies

jl1983 · 22/03/2015 19:06

As you guys know from my previous thread how I was messed around by this guy who had a gf etc. Well she kicked him out and now he's living with his gf who is married with a kid :( anyway he told me he hasn't done anything and is happy which is wrong in itself. Anyway yesterday was told he turned up with his piece to make a point. I missed it thanks god but the ex gf that kicked him out said she was v embarrassed etc. The new gf doesn't like me as she knows I talk to her husband so think she is trying to do the same. How do I deal with people like this :((((

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 22/03/2015 19:11

Don't have anything to do with them, and stop caring what they think, say or do.

Original poster
jl1983 · 22/03/2015 19:26

Just think she was seen out with him to make a point to me and the ex which isn't v nice not sure my head can take it mo just hope they get bored

OP posts:
Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 18:59

Just at this point I can't face it but don't like hiding either. It's like the bad guys have won

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 23/03/2015 19:11

Sorry I'm confused because I didn't read your previous thread and you haven't explained much about your situation. What is your relationship with this guy exactly? Is he your ex boyfriend? If so, I think you need to steer clear of him and his girlfriend as they both sound like bad news.

Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 19:47

I guess you could say we've had sex now and again unfortunately I developed feelings. So there is me, the woman he was living with for 3 yrs and as soon as she kicked him out this ex gf got claws in despite fact she's married with a child

OP posts:
candyce83 · 23/03/2015 20:09

It is beyond me how a "man" thinks he is entitled to act like this AND get away with it. Stop enabling him by giving him the time of day. No contact speaks the loudest message of all: I don't give a shit. People say the best revenge you can get on someone is to do better than they, but that in itself says you care. Indifference is far better in my opinion.

ALaughAMinute · 23/03/2015 20:12

So he's messing three moment around, one of which is married with a kid? He doesn't exactly sound like a catch does he? Do yourself a favour a break free from this man. Stop thinking about him, he's a bastard!

Find yourself a decent man who wants to be with you...and you only! You deserve better, you really do!

deste · 23/03/2015 20:17

Sounds like she did you a favour.

Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 20:18

Well he cheated on his live in gf with me and she kicked him out but she contacted the ex gf warning he was on scrounge again now all of sudden they're together. Parading themselves acting like they're doinh nowt wrong

OP posts:
YazooAddict · 23/03/2015 20:30

I'm having trouble following this - it's way too complicated for me.

However, I'm not sure why you would be embarrassed. He's decided to make another go of a previously failed relationship, and one that sounds pretty complicated.

Chances of that working? Pretty slim i'd guess.

I'd just sit it out and wait for their relationship to blow up. At which point, his messing around with all and sundry will leave him all alone and you can live your life knowing you have a lucky escape. Bad guys rarely win in the long run...

Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 20:34

The ex he's gone to is giving him money and drink as he is an alcoholic. He says he has done nowt wrong and made a point of going out sat and making point of it something I don't need to see or is good for me as this girl in question is not a nice person.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/03/2015 20:37

OP, your life sounds like someone with a slot on the Jeremy Kyle Show. Unless that is something you aspire to, you might want to rethink your choice in shit men.

Good luck Thanks

candyce83 · 23/03/2015 20:40

What they're doing is terribly wrong but its not your problem to convince them that. This is a situation that is well and truly out of your control. Let nature take its course. He is using her, be glad its not you he's using.

Only1scoop · 23/03/2015 20:43

Well he's obviously George Clooney with a bow around his knob....wow what a prize.

They will be off to Hollywood soon out of your hair.

Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 20:45

I know but just feel they are trying to make a point to me and the ex it's horrid

OP posts:
candyce83 · 23/03/2015 20:48

If that is the case, ignore them. They will eventually give up. How are they rubbing it in your face?

candyce83 · 23/03/2015 20:50

How are you in contact with them?

Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 21:15

He got told by his ex to not turn up same time as her iv pub yet they both turned up sat at top of bar day after to make a point. The woman hes gotten bk with has been leaving Her child most nights and he's husband who knows she is cheating

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 23/03/2015 21:31

How old is the child?

ALaughAMinute · 23/03/2015 21:33

If he/she is not old enough to be left alone I think you should report her to social services.

candyce83 · 23/03/2015 21:35

Ok are you wanting advice or just to have a moan?

deste · 23/03/2015 21:41

You have still had a luck escape. Why would anyone entertain an alcoholic anyway.

Original poster
jl1983 · 23/03/2015 21:44

I don't know all I know as soon as his ex found out he needed money and was kicked out was sniffing round like bad smell giving him money and booze. I don't know if it's some weird control thing

OP posts:
Vivacia · 23/03/2015 21:49

What did you take from your last thread about this?

You're being a bit if a drama llama and it's embarrassing.

candyce83 · 23/03/2015 21:52

Im sorry OP but Im gonna have to agree with Vivacia on this one...Youve got a resounding, "Avoid," from everyone but you're kind of continuing to drip feed.