Male orgasm.

[Lilyflower218]

Name change!l

My dp has just told me he doesn't think he has ever had an orgasm. I assumed when he ejaculated that was him having an orgasm.

We've only ever been together so we're not very experienced. Am I just dumb?

I want us to have a healthy relationship in all areas and I feel like I'm letting him down

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Flaming heck MaMaof4 what a horrendous person your husband sounds. Very self absorbed.

OP you say you are both in experienced but do you mean together or sexually? His claim sounds strange, even if it's possibly to ejaculate without orgasam can he not tell if that short burst of pleasure occurs or not?

this is a really interesting discussion, not least cos it turns out that not all men understand everything there is to know about their sexual response, just like lots of us women, altho obviously no one on here would call us 'idiots' for saying so.

To intensify a mans orgasm they need to get go the point of ejaculation then stop action, start again then stop, repeat as many times as possible. It's a good time to change position. Then when they finally do orgasm it's uber powerful.

Works for my DH when we can be arsed with it

Kind of like the difference between having a Lidl on your doorstep or a Waitrose two bus rides away.

thank you. this one is a keeper.

Wackadoodle I agree with Tentacles, that phrase is going in my lexicon!

Although of course, as women we have the option of stopping off for a quick snack at Lidl on the way to Waitrose. Maybe pop into Morrisons and Sainsbos en route sometimes as well, get a little bit of the meal from each stop

OP I don't know if we've scared you away, I agree it is a really interesting thread though, all smutty grinning aside. Do you do much together sexually that is for his pleasure but not directly leading to orgasm/ejaculation? Stimulating other erogenous zones etc?
Please don't think that it's anything wrong with you- if he doesn't know what he wants sexually, it's not fair to expect you to be psychic. Ultimately we're all responsible for our own sexual pleasure and directing our partners as to what we like, no matter how experienced they may be.

OP's P might have watched too much porn and believes that orgasm must be something other that what he gets- I understand that this is one of the porns' danger: unrealistic expectations of sex. He might be too fixated on the anatomic/performance bit to enjoy the deep emotional reward. I tend to think that ejaculation is pleasurable like eating when you are hungry etc. Orgasm has the additional romantic/emotional feeling to it. So OP, your P's brain and heart must work a bit more so that he can enjoy more his sex.

I have a Waitrose on my doorstep

I never said it wasn't possible to ejaculate without orgasm. From what the OP describes it sounds as if her DP is comparing his to her full body orgasms, and thinking his isn't one. Personally I think that's much more likely. Otherwise he would have said 'when I ejaculate I don't feel any great rush of pleasure'.

I have M & S round the corner. This is not any orgasm, this is an M & S orgasm! I'd rather have a bar of chocolate nowadays

It's true about ejaculation and not having an orgasm, also an orgasm without ejaculation (although rare in my experience). Learn something new everyday eh! I knew a lady who never knew about female ejaculation, she was in her late 30s and had plenty of partners previously. Talk about utterly dumbfounded.
Don't be too harsh on the OPs fella, he might just be unlucky

seaoflove

"do you really think the OP's partner has never had an orgasm in his life, as he has suggested?"

I have no idea whether he has or not, but it is possible if highly improbable.

Mens orgasms are often less intense than a womans, although although its not as if women always have mindblowing ones.

Have you asked him what he is experiencing whilst ejaculating? What exctly is making him question if he is having an orgasm?