Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Are you friends with your sibs?

42 replies

shimmy21 · 29/10/2006 19:56

sorry if it's been done already. Reading guardian section on staying friends with your sibs when grown up has left me wondering. Myself, I'm an only and my biggest hope is that my 2 dss stay mates as grownups. They are so close now it would be tragic if they stop being friends as grownies.

So, those of you with siblings, looking back at your own childhood, is there anything your parents did or didn't do that helped you to be friends with your sibs or made it less likley?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 29/10/2006 19:57

Yes, she's one of my closest confidantes and friends.

Radley · 29/10/2006 19:58

Nope, have nothing to do with them, and never will

munz · 29/10/2006 19:58

yes me and DB are immensly close and protective or each other, he'll often ring/I will just because, also we ring each otehr if we feel there's somehting wrong iycwim. also mum uses us to find out info aout the otehr as she knows we tlak to each other! lol.

FioFio · 29/10/2006 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

shimmy21 · 29/10/2006 20:00

hey quick replies folks!
do you think it's anything your parents did or didn't do that made things turn out as they did?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 29/10/2006 20:00

DH is close to both his sibs, especially his sister, who's such a star.

Sophiev73 · 29/10/2006 20:00

My parents made sure that they showed respect for each other around us four, and I'm sure this instilled a pretty sound respect for others in us. But there was always a fairly rich 'us and them' between our parents and us - just enough distance rather than 'my parents are my friends' which allowed us kids to be a team...

My brothers and my sister in particular I would consider my allies, my stronghold and my inspiration. Couldn't operate without them!

Tommy · 29/10/2006 20:01

I have 5 siblings and am extremely close to one sister, get on fine with 3 others and haven't spoken to the other one for about 15 years.

I don't think it's necessarily how we were brought up. iIt's just that my sister and I have more in common and socialise with the same group of people.

JackOLANTERNstini · 29/10/2006 20:03

Yes my sister is my best friend. Had a period when we were younger when we would fight all the time (& still have the scars to prove it) but age 14-ish onwards we shared quite a few friends.
Separate rooms helped once we were this age - really needed to express ourselves. Also over the years had many similar experiences and helped each other through.
Like you Munz our parents go to one to find out about the other - and we use each other to find out what the parents think!

expatinscotland · 29/10/2006 20:03

They never played favourites, our parents.

Also, it's a family tradition, both my parents are close to their sibs.

FIL is close to his sister.

MIL is an only child, though.

southeastastra · 29/10/2006 20:03

i've got 3 older sisters, two i get on really well with and one doesn't live near.

DarkAlleyBongo · 29/10/2006 20:04

my sister is the best thing since sliced bread

Original poster

shimmy21 · 29/10/2006 20:07

funny that, a couple of answers in the guardian mentioned the importance of separate bedrooms. At the moment my boys as often as not end up in the same bed. Could separate rooms really make a difference?

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 29/10/2006 20:09

I am friendly with one sister (though I wouldn't say we were very close - sort of close in a way only siblings are iykwim) - I speak to the other one less frequently (and haven't seen her for years) though I would say we are more alike. I an the eldest and we all live on different continents.

I don't know if my parents did anything really - we were close as children but we moved around a lot. My parents had itchy feet and never stayed in the same place for longer than 18 months so I would say that gave us all the impetus to be able to get up and arrive in a different country not knowing anyone and just get on with it - and that's what we all did to a certain extent which has meant we've never really had the chance to be close.

MistressMiggins · 29/10/2006 20:27

my DB & I are actually closer than both of our parents are to their SIBS
I think that my DB meeting his now wife at tender age of 16 has helped - she is my BF so easy to stay close
plus we live 15 min drive apart
am even closer now my ex H has done the dirty - my DB & he went to Uni together byt DB has stuck up for me & completely cut ties - not on my orders - with my ex H which I know hurts him terribly.....

cant imagine not getting on with DB

hope my DS & DD get on so well when adults

always know my DB will be there for me

Pinkchampagne · 29/10/2006 20:29

I get on far better with my sister now that we are both adults. We hated each other when we were children, but now I think of her as my best friend.

purplemonkeydishwasher · 29/10/2006 20:31

i get on well with my 2 little bros but me and my sis are NOT friends.
my mom is partly to blame. she always tried to push us tp be close. it had the opposite effect. and she played favourites.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 29/10/2006 20:33

hell yeah.
i grew up with them, they know too much!!

taffy101 · 29/10/2006 20:35

I am close to my 2 sisters but they don't really bother with each other much! I think they have opposite lifestyles/personalities and I am kind of a mixture of the two iyswim. We all shared bedroom at some point during growing up.
Have younger half brother who I don't go out of my way to see but still lives with parents so I see him if he's there. I'd class him as my friend and get on with him so much better than I did when I lived at home with him!!!!!

dmo · 29/10/2006 20:36

my dh is freinds with my brother (they are going on hols together in dec)
dh friends with his brother but hated him as a kid
deff no sharing rooms as this is a big thing of hate between siblings
i now get on wonderful with my sister now she has a child of her own but i'm 14yrs older than her so she was like an only child
my 3 brothers i get on with but dont ring them very much but we get on very well at family partys etc

TheDaVinciCod · 29/10/2006 20:36

yes all of us grreat pals adn all like husbands wives too
have all juts met up for first time in months ( theres three of us) all at M and ds

Twohootsandapumpkin · 29/10/2006 20:38

Interesting post I often don't think I want any more children (have one DD 18 mo) and when people ask me when I'll have another, I often say I don't think I will (DH says he isn't bothered either way??). Quite a few people (mainly older generation) have said that I am selfish not to have anymore as my DD will be lonely without siblings?

I am an only child and was certainly never lonely. On the other hand my DH has a brother who lives in another country and they never see each other and speak bi-annually I think!! So not close at all....

Pinotmum · 29/10/2006 20:38

When we are together (rare these days ) we revert back to being teenagers and we laugh so hard it hurts. We have such similar SOH. My sis lives in SE Asia and I see my brother about twice a year but we keep in touch by email and phone.

Marina · 29/10/2006 20:40

Fio That must be so horrible
Love my sister dearly, see a lot of her - but we're not really intimate because she is such a private person. But a top aunty and sibling
My parents fostered our lifelong friendship by leaving us to sort out our own arguments...and by my mother being so unintentionally barking for much of our adult lives that we have had to cover each other's backs on a regular basis.
Get on fine with each other's other halves too.

Gillian76 · 29/10/2006 20:40

I have 2 sisters. My parents treated us all equally.

We are all(including mum) very good friends, although if pushed I would say slightly closr to one sister than the other.

Flip

1 2