Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I’m not crazy to still be bothered by this am I?

50 replies

whateverate · 16/03/2015 20:05

I've named changed for this as will out me with dps sis.

try to keep it short last year I found a receipt for a sex toy and asked DP about it (assumed it was a present for me!) after first saying that he’d bought it for a male friend for a joke he eventually admitted he’s bought it for a female friend of his sisters who he’s known for years, he said at a party his sister had it came up that this woman had never had one and he bought her one because he thought it would be funny. I was annoyed that he’d buy something so intimate for another woman but he convinced me that it was just a joke and that there was nothing to worry about.

This weekend his sister was over and I mentioned it assuming she was in on the ‘joke’ and she didn’t know what I was talking about, said she didn’t remember the conversation and told DP it was weird

now I feel like a fool for being convinced this is ok. I have no other reason to be suspicious and am sure nothing is going on between them but I can’t get how he thought it was ok or her actually as she accepted it and knows its from him

OP posts:

Report

StaircaseAtTheUniversity · 16/03/2015 20:09

That explanation can't be true. If I found out my DP had bought a sex you for anyone else, I would be very suspicious.

PamDooveOrangeJoof · 16/03/2015 20:14

I would say he bought it for a woman who wasn't his sisters mate and that convo never happened, hence her knowing nothing about j
It.

Did you post about it on here as it sounds familiar.

pocketsaviour · 16/03/2015 20:15

Right. so he lied and said it was a "joke" for a male friend, then when that was too transparent he lied and said it was a "joke" for a female friend.

Do you know this woman? Because I would ask her straight out, "Did my boyfriend buy you a sex toy?"

Empha14 · 16/03/2015 20:16

He's lying.

Buying for a male friend is weird but I can see how someone might do it for a 'joke' bit of lad 'banter'.

The second story, that's just very weird. Buying a sex toy for his sisters friend because he thought it would be funny. Weird and a lie.

Word of advice, the more convoluted a story is the more it's likely to be a lie. This just strikes of someone very quickly making something up on the spot.

Only1scoop · 16/03/2015 20:17

I think it was a lie.... and even if it's not that's not really acceptable is it.

I wouldn't let it go Id want the truth.

AlternativeTentacles · 16/03/2015 20:20

Come on - how on earth would that be the truth?

PamDooveOrangeJoof · 16/03/2015 20:27

It's probably nothing to do with this woman either so I wouldn't bd asking her! He's just made it up totally and bought it for someone completely different probably.
Both of those lies were pretty outrageous! I'd say he's bang to rights

AgentProvocateur · 16/03/2015 20:28

Did you really believe him, or were you turning a blind eye? It sounds like a complete barrowload of bollocks.

Twinklestein · 16/03/2015 20:45

Did you post on here when you found it? I remember a similar thread.

Although Ive no doubt there are many such stories...

whateverate · 16/03/2015 21:10

no not posted this before. I do believe him, it's strange but I don't know what other explanations there are that aren't also strange

OP posts:

loveyoutothemoon · 16/03/2015 21:15

Why are you posting on here if you believe him?
He's lying.

GoatsDoRoam · 16/03/2015 21:16

I would assume that he bought it for himself but is embarrassed about it, so invented this cock and bull story.

And if he DID buy a sex toy for a friend of his sister's, that is just so completely creepy and unacceptable.

In either scenario, it's weird. So no you're not crazy to be bothered by this.

SocialMediaAddict · 16/03/2015 21:19

Sounds like he's lying. Ask what friend he bought it for and ring her together on speakerphone.

CalleighDoodle · 16/03/2015 21:24

Theres one very obvious explanation that isnt at all strange. He is having an affair and bought it for his mistress.

pocketsaviour · 16/03/2015 21:26

Actually Goats has a point, do you know what kind of toy it was? If it was a dildo or butt plug then he's probably using it himself and too embarrassed to tell you. If it was a rabbit or bullet then he's playing away.

chocolatefingersandtoes · 16/03/2015 21:33

Hi OP, highly, highly suspicious. People don't buy friends of the opposite sex sex toys. Not for a joke. They buy them sex toys for when they shag them. I'm amazed you actually believed him!

AnyFucker · 16/03/2015 21:37

He bought a sex toy for the other woman he was/is shagging

That is the most likely explanation, and tbh, the only one that makes any sense at all

You've been had, OP. I am sorry.

Unless it was a male sex toy ?

Fairenuff · 16/03/2015 21:39

Ask him again and tell him you want the truth this time. Tell him that you will be checking with the woman so if it's not her he'd best come clean.

whateverate · 16/03/2015 21:53

It's not a male toy.

I think it's the truth that it was for her, I guess i'm asking if there's anyway it's innocent like he claims

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 16/03/2015 21:55

not in my opinion, no

and not in yours either, or you would have parked this a long time ago

PannaDoll · 16/03/2015 21:59

Guilty!

Lucked · 16/03/2015 22:03

I think you should ask her. Tell her you found the receipt he told you this story and you think it is a bit odd.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

AlternativeTentacles · 16/03/2015 22:05

but I don't know what other explanations there are that aren't also strange

Well, it's not an ornament is it?

He is either using it himself or shagging the person he bought it for.

WaxOnWaxOff · 16/03/2015 22:06

Oh come on, you didn't really buy into that crock of shit did you? he bought a sex toy for a male friend as a joke... oh no wait, it was a female friend, but it was still only a joke... yeah right, okay

Millie3030 · 16/03/2015 22:07

Even if it is for her, I doubt it was for a joke and more like a sexual thing. Maybe he fancies he, is sleeping with her, wants to sleep with her or is just a bit innapropriate and a bit sleazy. How would you feel if some guy bought you a sex toy?

Are they close friends, maybe if they were really really close and you knew her really well it would be mildly believable, but if it was just a joke why couldn't he have told you about it at the time? I have a friend that loves vibrators and proudly has quite the collection, if my husband found a funny one that would be a good joke one he would say shall we get this for X as a joke, look it's got a funny moustache on it etc. He would NOT buy it on his own, that is weird and sleazy. The fact that he doesn't have it means she actually accepted it?

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.