Absent Mothers, lost Mothers, for some people Sunday will be agonisingly painful :(

[fredfredsausagehead1]

Media will have us believe Mother's Day is all flowers and hearts. I personally find the day and the lead up to it very painful. My mum left her family for another man and we grew up watching her with her new family then later rejecting us for not playing happy families with her new family .She is still alive and the mixed feelings are unbearable. Having my own family makes it harder. And my own demons that I will always blame her for. The damage can't be repaired. But then she is a human too, flawed like me.

I know loads of you here feel like this, and this time of year an be hard on the emotions, so this thread is to let it all out!

My dh lost his mother when he was a child. This time of year is hard for him and many others too.

I'd not seen this thread I started a similar one but same sentiment

My Mum died 18 months ago, she was the only one who cared when I was feeling like crap. I miss her very much :(
Today DD1 at Uni, DS1 at Uni, DS 2 football, DS 3 camp out with his scout group. Mother's Day is not a thing for them.
My Mum used to always get me some bath staff a book and some chocs, with a message saying from one mother to another.
I wish she was here.
TBH I can't wait for tomorrow to come!!

My mum died 6 years ago after a long battle with cancer and I was really shut off to it all (think it was an odd kind of self preservation). My world broke in half when she died and every year I ignore mother's day totally so I don't have to relive any of that pain.
This year though I've spent some time this morning just thinking about her and letting her know in my mind that I still love her and miss her every day. It's made me cry but I do feel better
to everyone for whom today is a difiicult one. Tomorrow will be brighter.

My mum left when I was 6, I haven't seen her since. I know she has a new family and two new kids that she loves so I am sure she is still celebrating Mother's Day with them but for me it is just meant to be another day.

I tell everyone if doesn't bother me when they ask, but it does. More so this year I think as I am pregnant with first child and wondering what kind of mother I will be and hope I can be better than her. There's always this gap, I don't miss her - I don't know her - but where people talk about 'mum' I don't really have anything to contribute. It was a horrible situation as a child and I am sure I ended up better off without her but those aren't the thoughts you are meant to have on Mother's Day...

Sorry to everyone who finds today hard. I am sure many of is will pretend for the sake of others but tomorrow it will be over and we can brush over it for another year.

My mum died in September - it feels very strange - I keep wanting to ring her and I can't. I know it sounds pathetic but it's only really now that I'm starting to get my head around the idea that I'm never going to see her again. It's like a deep ache. My dad is dead too.

I have the boys this weekend (single parent) which is nice but ds2 is in bed with a high temperature and I have an appraisal tomorrow so id better get cracking!

To those who might be struggling

oneday I'm not entirely sure there is a sure fire right way to approach it. Maybe if it comes up ask about their mothers, ask what they were like. Everyone is different and some people might not want to talk but some might. I know that for many years I would have loved the chance to talk about my adoptive mum. There was no one who I was in touch with who remembered her. No one ever remembered (that I know of) that I didn't have a mother and I would have loved someone just asking about her. I might have cried a bit but I'd have been so grateful to be able to talk.

As I say though everyone is different. I think just a sentance should be tactful though. Even asking where she is buried, if you can manage it, it's not the easiest of subjects is it, just because it means so much.

its really thoughtful of you to think of them