Your most trivial 'dealbreaker'... (lighthearted)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

It's Friday, I read this article... Groom Dumped Over Failed Maths Test ... and wondered what relatively trivial failing in someone meant they didn't get that second or third date.

Mine was that he collected ornamental boxes and lined them up on his coffee table set-square perfect.

I met him when he was selling cheap imported cigarettes (yes, I have lax morals) but they turned out to be very badly made fakes. He said he'd make it up to me by taking me for dinner. I agreed, mainly because he was such a nuisance, until I realised his idea of 'out for dinner' was McDonalds! After I'd given him quite a verbal battering, he grabbed hold and tried to kiss me. I punched him.

He then kept texting me to ask when I was going to take up his burger offer

Jacana

Jarhead, I've read the entire wank sock thread without flinching, but your post above nearly made me sick! Not the PVC boots one, that just made me laugh. In a bad way.

Less experienced in the date world as I thankfully met DP who I will be marrying in May, but this one sticks in my mind.

Had been speaking to a guy I knew, got to know each other well. He was sweet, if a bit keen. I Had been suffering from a pretty bad break up. Anyway. I went away for 6 weeks and we went for a picnic when I came back..
..where he proceeded to tell me how lovely my cousin was and how she had led him on and he was in love with her. but he really wanted A girlfriend, so he felt he would try to 'move on'. By this point I was getting a bit pissed off. He then hugged me for ages and tried to kiss me
to my shame I asked if he could drop me off at the pub with my uncle and I consequently had a rreally good day with my now DP!

He had a laugh like a machine gun. Also one of his spots burst when he was snogging me. I pulled away to see pus dribbling down his face.

collected new bf from train and he was wearing short white shorts and white skinny legs and boat shoes.
he looked like a giant stringy toddler.

another one was dumped when he held his knife like a pen and didn't finish the sausages I'd made at his request.

In my younger days, at the house of a friend who I was considering dating...we were kissing on the sofa, he said he'd put some music on....

...he put on that one by Louise that goes 'you make me feel naked.....undressing me with your eyes....'

Also, one who neglected to dispose of his chewing gum before ramming his tongue down my throat.

And who referred to his penis as 'Mr Winkie'.

Most recent one's indiscretion was repeatedly texting me at an inconvenient time he had no idea it was inconvenient

Many years ago, arrived for a 4th ish date at a guy's house to discover he lived with his dad. Not an issue in itself but I only discovered this when his dad walked into the living room wearing a bright red and filthy onesie (before they were fashionable)

gingermum I nearly saw my supper again. In fact i still might. . ..

Oh god how could I have forgotten the seamingly nice enough boyfriend. Met at a party, went on a couple of ok dates - think dinner/cinema/bit of a snog. He few weeks in, he invited me round to his for some dinner.

Fine I thought.

Oh. My. God.

Turned out he lived with his dad (he was 25), they had not one book in the house, a mahoosive pool table taking up the whole living room, TWO tvs in the same room (one portable with headphones snaking out of it) so they could watch different programmes whilst they ate their tv dinners and, AND, a great big fucking framed picture of Elvis over the gas fireplace. Flanked by two electric guitars. That neither of them could play.

I was served scotch eggs, cocktail sausages and crisps which I ate perched on my lap as there was no table. They kept the sport on for the whole meal and them produced 20 Benson and Hedges which they ceremoniously unwrapped and put in front of me insisting I 'help myself'. AND then said "go on, have one" when I insisted I didn't smoke.

Never. Went. Back.

oh dear god I could write a list.

1. lovely handsome man asked me how many dates he needed to chalk up before we did the deed. Five minutes into First date(ran away)

2. Handsome brazilian who asked me out on tube on date one admitted he was a male prostitute (run for hills)

3. Boy sent picture of his thing immediately after first date with his follow up for a second

4. first date admitted he was a jehovas witness. Eeek. should have known when he ran dedications for me every night on mellow magic before my mum finally took pitty on him and begged for me to go on a date with him!

Oh God so many...

Guy who invited me round for dinner. His idea of 'dinner' was opening a can of ready made chilli con carne and serving it with boiled rice!

The guy who described himself as a 'sexy city lawyer' who was about 5 foot 3, had black teeth and the most boring, monotone voice I'd ever heard. ( shudder)

A guy I was dating in the 90s, he was 7 years younger than me and quite cute but...

We were having a discussion once on what you would do with your time if you only had 7 days to live. His answer was, to go and eat in all the fast food places in London. Second deal breaker was one time after sex he was looking thoughtful and I asked what he was thinking about. He replied 'Pocahontas' ( the Disney film). Reader, I dumped him...

"He looked nothing like his profile picture, which was taken in profile and he turned out to have an enormous moon-like face."

Was his face half moon crescent shaped from the side profile and then full moon from the front?

He asked if I wanted a cuppa. The one word in the English language which makes me grind my teeth. A fucking cuppa what? Soup?

SlightlyJaded
sounds like they were having the time of their lives

Didn't like animals at all whatsoever that ended at date one.

One guy told me he needed to stop wanking so much as it was affecting his sexual performance. Then a few sentences later asked if he could lick cocaine off my pussy. Needless to say I told him I didn't think we were compatible.

Been with a guy a month max maybe and he starts telling everyone in my local I'm moving to America with him, he had however failed to mention it to me.

One guy got dumped after a couple of dates because he started every sentence with 'to be honest', and kept updating me on the state of his ingrowing toenail, in gruesome detail. Over 2 years later he saw me in a pub with a guy and called me a slut because I was seeing someone else

Anyone shorter than me. I'm tall and I know it's shallow, but - no.

And it's really odd but I go off pale, blue eyed, blond types really really quickly - couple of dates max, however much I am attracted to them initially. I can't explain it. One day attractive next day eurgh. Think it must be hormonal.

Ooh and an old flat mate of mine, good looking, insanely intelligent if slightly odd, was inviting a girl round for a first date. He told me he was going to cook and as he was Italian I was expecting something amazing. Then I saw the plate of pasta with a tin of tuna thrown on top. I didn't say anything. The girl came round. She didn't come back. I should probably have intervened.

Hairy back which looking back is probably a bit shallow, he was handsome and a nice guy but I couldn't do it with the hairy back poor guy.

Going for a date (approx 4th) to a nearby city by train so that we could both have a few drinks, waiting for the train he said "better be careful i don't stand too close to the platform, I might get sucked off" and laugh uproariously. He said this more than once. We got on the train, I "went to the toilet" and got off at the next stop.

Spoke in a weird pervy old man voice randomly white attempting to be sexy.

Would manipulate situations so that the only food I could consume on a date was salad or anything else very low in calories. This was while I was a petite size 8 (much younger days).

These were different men, all very quickly dumped.

Holding his knife like a pen. I wanted to stab him with it.

Grunt, I met a guy and practically every sentence started or ended with ' to be honest' or ' to be fair'. It really wound me up. It felt like a form of Tourette's ( tbh). Made my skin crawl!

Such funny stories, made me remember three men that I had forgotten.

Blew his nose on a linen napkin in a restaurant. Yuk, yuk, yuk...

After one drink, asked me to marry him, he had a disabled mother and needed someone to help look after her. When I said no, he asked if I would just sleep with him then. Still a no.

Really good looking guy, got on very well, but he had penile spikes or spines. Thought they were really off putting.

Another guy, a bit posh, parents Oxford academics, described his 2 dogs as his 'girlfriends'...

Saying it had been a long, lonely (and cold) winter without sex...

Then proceeded to ask if he could warm his knob in my fanny (his words).

I was 16, he was 18, we met at church's youth camp

Needless to say I didn't let him anywhere near me!