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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Yet another sex thread....

65 replies

Embarrassedwife · 11/03/2015 21:18

I'm a frequent poster on MN hence the name change for this one

Me and DH are in our mid/late 20s (vagueness for privacy) and have been married for several years.

Sex is generally good when it occurs but id like to have it more than we do. Any tips for broaching this with him? Am too embarrassed to come out and say it.

Also he's never ever performed oral sex on me despite me doing it to him, I've never had it in my life (he was my first everything and he never had a gf / relationship before me either). Would it be rude to ask him to do this for me? Again, how to ask him to.....

God I sound like a teenage pervert or a troll.....I promise I'm a regular poster x

OP posts:

Sallyingforth · 14/03/2015 10:43

I'm sure women in the 70s still had the pleasure of receiving oral sex, complete with hairy bush.

I know one who does in 2015!

Twinklestein · 14/03/2015 10:55

Try 'either we both wax or it's a no go'.

InTheWhiteRoom · 14/03/2015 11:05

I agree with bathtimefunkster

He sounds a selfish nob

I also agree with the pp who said men who don't do oral don't like women. It's true ime

And Seriously why do people "settle" with the first person they shag, I can't think of anything worse. I'd be constantly worried i was missing out tbh

BathtimeFunkster · 14/03/2015 11:12

I know one who does in 2015!

Make that two!

Original poster

Embarrassedwife · 14/03/2015 11:46

I "settled" because I love him, and it was right for us :-)

I don't understand his reluctance in honesty and can see that he may find a way to worm out of it, but he knows the seriousness of the sexual dissatisfaction in our marriage, and it may well end up being a deal breaker. This he knows. Yet contemplating seperating due to lack of sex seems a bit dramatic at the same time....the fact we have children seems to be binding us and perhaps clouding our better judgement. I don't know x

OP posts:

Sortmylifeout · 14/03/2015 13:32

I understand his reluctance. He is a lazy and selfish man and lover.

Original poster

Embarrassedwife · 14/03/2015 14:08

He says its because he's never done it before and he doesn't know how.

Feel like wringing his neck when he says that, we were BOTH complete virgins when we met, yet I learned to blown him (well I hope), so why can't he try to learn haha

Here's hoping he means what he says. There would be a lot more sex if he did this one thing for me

OP posts:

ToYouToMe · 14/03/2015 14:30

If he 'doesn't know how' ask him to Google 'cunnilingus'. Or watch some porn together and get him to copy what he sees. It's not rocket science!

BathtimeFunkster · 14/03/2015 16:12

That is such a pathetic excuse.

Why do you keep giving this selfish, lazy sod blow jobs?

ScrambledEggAndToast · 15/03/2015 09:28

I'd be pretty annoyed if I were you OP. The last guy I was seeing was pretty reluctant to do anything to pleasure me although he was happy to accept. After a while it just got a bit boring. Guys who are happy to take turns with everything are much better to be with and get a much better overall experience from me

Grantaire · 15/03/2015 09:42

There is nothing wrong with a man suggesting a wax to a woman if he likes the notion as long as it is a suggestion as part of a loving, healthy, equal relationship and the woman is free to choose.

"Here love, I'll consider sexual equality and your pleasure only if you change your appearance first" is fucking ridiculous.

I would be offended and cross.

Christinayang1 · 15/03/2015 09:52

Tell him to get his bits waxed first..then see how keen he is on a blow job....

BathtimeFunkster · 15/03/2015 10:02

There is nothing wrong with a man suggesting a wax to a woman if he likes the notion

No, I don't agree.

I think anyone with intact pubic hair "liking the notion" of hairless pubic regions for their sexual partner is a bit of a creep.

And let's face it, it's nearly always going to be an inadequate male porn devotee who is disgusted by actual women's bodies that is making a "suggestion" like this.

Sallyingforth · 15/03/2015 10:05

Considering that the fashion for shaven pubes is so new, are we supposed to believe that oral sex never happened before 1980?

InTheWhiteRoom · 15/03/2015 11:49

Yeah what bathtimefunkster and Sallying said

Can't abide this twatty selfish attitude, from reading posts on here and my own single mates stories, it's so prolific in younger men 30 odd and younger. just completely ruined by porn in many ways. Who the fuck do they think they are happily accepting (and expecting) orgasms from their partners yet think it's ok to not do the same

My dh couldn't care if I have a full bush or shaved off. he loves giving me pleasure and it clearly turns him on as much when I'm turned on as when I'm doing stuff to him. This is cos he is a Real Man. Not a selfish little boy

Op I might be biased as I spent years with my first ever proper boyfriend, got married had a baby and everything. and one of the main reasons I got rid is the sex was shit and I couldn't face the thought of another 50 years of it

Once I got back out there I found out that the boring crap sex that was all I'd known, wasn't normal. and 7 years into my second marriage the sex is still amazing and I'm so glad I didn't just settle

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