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Original poster

Silent treatment

26 replies

Littlehomebird · 07/03/2015 19:29

After an argument, what's the longest period of time you've gone with no communication? We've reached a whole week now with not a word spoken.

OP posts:
fairgame · 07/03/2015 19:37

3 years.
We had an argument, he walked out and he didn't speak to me for 3 years.
We were in a relationship but didn't live together at the time. He is a very very stubborn man.

I think anything more than a couple of hours is ridiculous. Not speaking is pretty immature, if you are in a relationship you should be able to talk through your problems. Not speaking won't solve anything.

Charley50 · 07/03/2015 19:45

What do you mean 3 years?! Did you carry on where you'd left off after 3 years? Grin

Original poster
Littlehomebird · 07/03/2015 19:46

Agreed but I can tell it would end up in another argument & I can't be bothered with it. He is never ever in the wrong, it's always my fault bla bla bla. Last night I was in bed asleep & when he came to bed at midnight he switched the light on & started rumaging through drawers- thus was to provoke a reaction from me. I didn't rise to it.

OP posts:
Charley50 · 07/03/2015 19:47

On a serious note, my DP has done 2 weeks silent treatment when not living together. It's been massively damaging to me emotionally. Google silent treatment abuse and you will find an article that discusses the effect it can have.

tallwivglasses · 07/03/2015 19:47

If you live with him I think more than a couple of hours becomes a punishment. and you're supposed to feel so grateful when he deems the silence to be over Angry

fairgame · 07/03/2015 19:47

No of course we didn't he still remains an ex Grin

I mean he left the house after an argument in March 2010 and literally did not speak to me until August 2013!
He is a whole other breed of stubborn and unreasonable.

BuzzardBird · 07/03/2015 19:48

Ha! Good on you, what a twat! I actually think not talking to each other is the most infantile (insult to infants) thing I can think of.

Mitzi50 · 07/03/2015 19:52

This was a regular feature of my relationship with my ex. He used this as 1 way of controlling me and bringing me back into line. It always followed any objection on my part to some very unreasonable behaviour.

If you don't talk (and listen) nothing is ever resolved - I don't think it bodes well for your relationship.

pictish · 07/03/2015 19:54

Omg what torture! Life is too short for this shit!

fairgame · 07/03/2015 19:55

Honestly OP a week is way too long. Somebody has to be the bigger person and try and sort it out. The fact that DP is trying to get a rise out of you just goes to show that he is being immature so it might be you that has to make the first move. I would make it clear that silent treatment is not acceptable in your relationship and if he doesn't like it then he knows where the door is.

bimbobaggins · 07/03/2015 19:56

8 months. I slept on the sofa. Separated now

Original poster
Littlehomebird · 07/03/2015 19:57

I did google it & no it's not good is it. A form of punishment hadn't crossed my mind but a means of avoiding another blow out did. It does seem like infantile behaviour but if I'm not going to say the 'right' thing I won't bother saying anything atall.

OP posts:
Charley50 · 07/03/2015 20:16

Are you both giving each other the silent treatment then? That could go on for a while.
Tbh I wish I had never got involved with the man who gives me the silent treatment as nothing good has come of it

Original poster
Littlehomebird · 07/03/2015 20:25

Charley- I'm just not saying anything, he's making it obvious he's in a 'huff' .

OP posts:
SanityClause · 07/03/2015 20:36

Sulking is so childish. Such a bore!

How about breaking the silence with a "goodbye!"?

livefastlove · 07/03/2015 20:36

Dh and I have quite a good relationship but we are both a bit sulky at times. I think 3 days was our maximum though. We were both relieved to make up as it got annoying not talking. If you aren't talking for weeks then there is a serious problem.

Paddlingduck · 07/03/2015 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Littlehomebird · 07/03/2015 20:53

Thought he'd finally cracked there & spoke but no he's just snoring. Life is such a rich & frantic whirl . . .

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/03/2015 20:58

H can be like this, I have found a way to diffuse it which is the say "Just so I know, how long are you planning on sulking for because I want to plan my week"

Wink
magicgirl79 · 07/03/2015 21:02

I remember the silent treatment with my mum and dad when I was a child.

It was horrible, going on for days at a time, me and my brother always felt so sad, then when they spoke it was like all our Xmas's had come at once!!

The sad thing is, I now deal with silent treatment from my H and often look at my D and remember how it felt for me as a child.

Velvetbee · 07/03/2015 21:07

About half an hour.
It's so sad that people are living like this.

AcrossthePond55 · 07/03/2015 21:08

Oh, IDK, the silent treatment isn't all bad. At least if they're ignoring you they aren't blathering on about whatever it is you're arguing about and how wrong you are. My DH* tends to 'pontificate' and 'make pronouncements' when we're arguing (not that I listen to him), so a bit of silence would be OK with me.

*He's generally a peach, just sometimes he gets on my last nerve……Men, can't live with 'em, can't rip their heads off.

Nolim · 07/03/2015 21:13

4 hours. At least he had the common sense to go to another room instead of staying in the same room refusing to talk to me.

cookoos · 07/03/2015 21:28

a few hours tops, i cant do it, i cool down too easily even when im really angry & have screamed my face off!! he isnt stubborn either im glad we are like that though! i can imagine its hugely draining to go any longer than that!

Firecrest · 07/03/2015 21:35

My exh could keep it up for weeks. It was a punishment but at the time I didn't realise it was abuse. It made me very unhappy which of course it was supposed to do.

During one period of silent treatment I had all my long hair cut off into a pixie style. Really suited me and done at hairdresser's suggestion. He was so shocked he broke his silence. Wouldn't recommend it as a way of dealing with an abuser. What I would recommend is dumping the bastard.

I haven't spoken to exh for 20 years now.