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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why would he call a mortgage advisor on a Sunday?

39 replies

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 16:53

Just seen on OH's mobile that he called someone on Sunday who is down as 'mortgage advisor'. Going further into the contact this person is known as Liz.

He's not mentioned it to me. Why would he be talking to a mortgage advisor on a Sunday and why wouldn't he mention it to me? (I was at work all day Sunday).

I'm paranoid because the house is in his name although I still pay towards mortgage, bills and improvements. Currently paying for a new ensuite decor. He promises me that as soon as mortgage is up for renewal in October we'll be changing it to joint names and we can't do that yet as the finances don't get better until then (true). But naturally I'm still paranoid that I'm being taken for a ride!

OP posts:
takeitonthegin · 06/03/2015 16:57

How long was the call for? It's plausible but if you were checking his phone there must be something making you feel uneasy. Maybe bring up the subject of mortgages and see if he mentions the phone call, if not ask him outright.

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 17:00

I already have (unwittingly) mentioned mortgages since Sunday and he's still not mentioned it

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 06/03/2015 17:01

It's not wise to pay for improvements to a home that isn't yours. If I were you I'd put that on hold until you are on the mortgage

takeitonthegin · 06/03/2015 17:01

Hmmm, I would be a bit suspicious then. Are there any other reasons you are concerned?

I think you may need to ask him outright.

LadyBlaBlah · 06/03/2015 17:05

Is Liz a 'friend'?

AmyElliotDunne · 06/03/2015 17:06

Being a suspicious type, I would wonder if 'mortgage advisor' is a code name for someone who isn't actually a mortgage advisor. Sorry. May be totally innocent or be totally mortgage related, but there are other options worth exploring.

Undecidedhousemove · 06/03/2015 17:08

Are you married, OP? Makes a difference legally here.

imjustahead · 06/03/2015 17:08

where did you find the name?

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 17:10

Not married. That's another 'on the to do list'.
I could ring 'liz' and give her my mobile for when she can't talk directly to dp about 'our' house I suppose.

OP posts:
BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 17:10

I just clicked the 'mortage advisor' name and her full name came up

OP posts:
NetballHoop · 06/03/2015 17:14

What do you find if you Google her full name? Does she have a linkedIn profile/Facebook? Also can you check his phone bill? We're with Orange and their website shows all the numbers we've called for months back.

Undecidedhousemove · 06/03/2015 17:18

Pls stop making £ contributions unless your name gets on the mortgage. In a vulnerable position

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/03/2015 17:22

"I'm paranoid because the house is in his name although I still pay towards mortgage, bills and improvements. Currently paying for a new ensuite decor. He promises me that as soon as mortgage is up for renewal in October we'll be changing it to joint names and we can't do that yet as the finances don't get better until then (true)".

Time now to have a full and frank no holds barred conversation with him about mortgages and marriage. His answers though may well upset you but at least you will know where you stand then.

Why are you paying for this at all particularly as the mortgage is in his sole name?. You do not also have to have improved finances either to add your name to the mortgage; I think he is taking you for a mug and you are very unwise for paying any money into this property of his. You will never see a penny of that again if you separate, you do realise this don't you?. As his unmarried partner as well your legal position in law is extremely poor.

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 17:43

I asked him outright. His initial reaction was his "oh shit" lying face. He then said he had rang that number by accident whilst trying to use Siri. He then started being uncharacteristically loving and concerned about my bad throat etc and went on about how he totally understood my paranoia so he wasn't cross that I'd been on his phone but he'd prove his intentions to me.
It's that initial "oh shit" face that has got me Hmm though

OP posts:
Sickoffrozen · 06/03/2015 17:44

Sounds suspicious this one. The old hide your lovers name behind a false one is fairly common with people having affairs.

Not many mortgage advisers work on Sunday's.

However it is plausible that a few do and that he may have called one.

Does he tend to keep other trades in his phone book ie Plumber, electrician etc??

MinceSpy · 06/03/2015 17:49

You must already had suspicions otherwise why would you go through his phone. Have you searched her name yet?

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 18:00

Yeah I googled her. A mortgage advisor of that name exists in the city an hour away but not one we've ever used.
It's a mobile number too, do mortgage advisors go by mobile number?

OP posts:
Boysrstupid · 06/03/2015 18:11

Have you googled the mobile number?

RubbishMantra · 06/03/2015 18:15

"He then started being uncharacteristically loving and concerned about my bad throat etc and went on about how he totally understood my paranoia so he wasn't cross that I'd been on his phone but he'd prove his intentions to me"

Do you have a history of paranoia before getting with this man OP? Because otherwise, all this would all make me feel uneasy. I've highlighted the bits that would make me feel extra uneasy. Just sounds like he's making what he thinks are the right and reassuring noises.

Did he say how he was going to "prove his intentions"?

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 18:20

thats how it sounded mantra. Like he was just saying the right things to dissolve the situation.
I googled the number, nothing comes up at all.

OP posts:
magoria · 06/03/2015 18:25

How of he accidentally called someone would they have been added to his contacts?

BigEyedOwl · 06/03/2015 18:28

He reckons she was already in his contacts from when we first started looking for a mortgage for this house

OP posts:
Mostlyjustaluker · 06/03/2015 18:28

It sounds suspicious but independent mortgage advisor are self employment and if she arranged the last mortgage she would know when the current one would be up for renewal.

Mitzimaybe · 06/03/2015 18:30

Red flags all over this one, I'm afraid to say. Tell him you're not paying a penny more towards the mortgage or the property until it's in joint names - and stick to it. I fear you may well lose everything you've put in so far.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 06/03/2015 18:35

If it was an accidental call then it would only have lasted 10 seconds at max.