Ok, so more information. Punctuation- can not do so well, since I currently live in Mexico, and not very savvy in writing English but will try.
To start I am a Jehovah´s Witness always have been always will be, even if some of you here will not agree but they are my believes, and perhaps you will say now I understand why you are the control freak you are. I might be a control freak but that who I am any way, my husbands family are catholic, he has never professed any religion.
I never told him to change for me, I simply told him I do not wish to go out with you because of who you are. He started changing for him, at least that is what he had said. He went to rehab for alcoholic issues (we were not going out at the time because I had said I did not care if he did go or not I was not going to risk it.). (The drinking was severe to a point he would wake up in his car somewhere in the city and not remember how he got there.) He got out of rehab, and started studding the bible with a Jehovah´s witness that I did not even know at the time because that witness was in a different congregation than mine he had apparently met him in college .
During the time he was studding he did send me text messages once in a while and most of time I would not respond. He would send me flowers and such. His grandfather and cousin both died during this time. I attended to his grandfathers funeral because he was a friend of the family, I saw him there, after not having seen him since I had told him I did not want to date him. He was so sad obviously, I gave him a hug and since that day I began to answer his text messages more often still not seeing him. A couple of more months went by and then he called me one night crying because they had killed his cousin and I stayed on the phone till he was able to calm down. During this whole time he kept studding the bible. He had an argument one night with his parents because of the religion so he took off, his mother called me worried she did not know anything about him and he would not answer his cell. I of course became worried so I started contacting everyone I could think of that he might be with. Finally his mom called me to tell me that he was with his grandma who lived in another city, and that his cell phone had died and did not have a charger with him. She gave me his grandmothers phone number, I called and we talked. When he got back he went to see me and we talked, one thing led to another and we kissed. We began dating, and he continued to study the bible. He said he was making changes in his life for him, because he did not want to end up like his cousin which was killed for drug related issues. So I believed him and continued to date him, because well I cared for him and liked him a lot.
Since we began dating which was February of 2012 he continued to study and never smoked or drank again, that I ever found out about at least. He got baptized as a Jehovah´s Witness In October of 2013 and we continued dating for another year and got married In September of 2014.
When all of what I have mentioned in the original post started happening.
So, I think I did not change him or ask him to do so, he did it himself and I did not accept him for who he was as a smoker, drinker, porn-user. I accepted him for who he had appeared to have changed in to.