Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm behaving like a twat

31 replies

boole · 03/03/2015 20:05

I have NC.

I'm being snappy and mean to my boyfriend. It's been happening for a couple of months now.
I don't know why and I don't like what I'm doing, but I seem unable to stop myself.

I can't justify my behaviour and don't understand it. I'd like to understand it and I'd like to stop doing it.

I don't really know what else to say. Confused

OP posts:
Watchmestumble · 03/03/2015 20:10

The feelings are gone. When they irritate you so much that you can't help snapping at them, it's time to call it a day.

YvetteChauvire · 03/03/2015 20:17

Is it only your boyfriend you behave this way to?

MissMuesli · 03/03/2015 20:20

Is there something else on your mind? I went through a period where I was very snappy and quite mean, I was worried that bf was going to break up with me for various reasons and was sabotaging. It was awful of me, I apologised and we moved on.

TopOfTheCliff · 03/03/2015 20:34

boole does his breathing annoy you? If it does then you need to end it. If not there is hope.
HTH x

Haggisfish · 03/03/2015 20:36

You need to figure out what's really bothering you.

Original poster
boole · 03/03/2015 20:58

It's only my boyfriend I'm behaving like this to.

I can't tell if I'm genuinely irritated by him - had to laugh at does his breathing bother me - or if I'm resentful about something.

I feel secure in the relationship so it's not that bothering me.
Life in general - I am feeling quite low lately.

OP posts:
PrettyFeet · 03/03/2015 21:02

This is a hugely open ended OP then isn't it.

Do you need a boyfriend to feel "secure"?

YvetteChauvire · 03/03/2015 21:04

Sometimes we lash our at our nearest and dearest when we are dissatisfied with our lives. When we are frustrated.

Do you still have your mojo? Do like waking up and going about your daily business? Do you like life?

Original poster
boole · 03/03/2015 21:09

I think that's it, Yvette.

No mojo. Feel fed up. Actually I feel quite grim.
He's the only one I'm lashing out at, as I said, although I am finding myself feeling increasingly irritable in my daily life. With other people I grit my teeth. With him I lash out, probably because I feel I can. Shock. That's awful to write.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 03/03/2015 21:13

Have you told him you realise you're being a bitch and apologised for it.

If you can hold your tongue for others you should do so with him too. If not you deserve to get dumped so be sure to acknowledge and talk this through with him.

MitchellGirl · 03/03/2015 21:16

Trip to the GP perhaps?

LineRunner · 03/03/2015 21:58

I felt like this one day - for just one day - with my OH when I was in real pain with a back in injury.

If you still love him, find out where the pain is coming from in your life.

LineRunner · 03/03/2015 21:58

Sorry that ^^ sounds so wanky.

YvetteChauvire · 03/03/2015 22:05

The reason I asked so many questions is because I went through a similar thing a couple of years into my relationship with my husband.

I did as MitchellGirl suggested to you and went to my GP. He had been my family GP for years so I could just go in and chat to him. To cut a long story short I realised that I was incredibly unhappy with the way my life was going. I was doing a job I hated, I was lonely (my job involved lots of time working alone), the job was demanding so I barely had any time to see friends and family. I felt my life was miserable, I felt powerless, like I was observing life but not really taking part.

On paper I had a fabulous life - I had the great job, responsibility, a wonderful boyfriend, a lovely home, no money worries. So why the feeling of melancholy all the time?

I started the process of getting back my mojo by, first, being very honest with my boyfriend. He was incredibly understanding and supportive. I did turn it round with his and my GP's help (new career, new hobbies, properly switching off after work, date nights). A two year process in all and I haven't looked back since.

That's (the short version of) my story boole, but I cannot help but think you may benefit from hearing it. The first step would be to speak to your boyfriend about this. Be really honest and tell him you are picking on him without cause. Do apologise. He may appreciate that you recognise there is a problem. You never know, he may help you try and get answers as to why you are being the way you are.

Harridanshandbag · 03/03/2015 22:17

Grin linerunner

This uses to spell the end for me unless I still fancies them.

Do you still fancy him OP? If so I'd say do as Linerunner says just to be clear its tongue in cheek!

Harridanshandbag · 03/03/2015 22:19

Oh dear I sound utterly illiterate, please excuse my hasty typo riddled post! (I'm tired too)

blueberrypie0112 · 03/03/2015 22:22

Check your blood sugar. Maybe that's is the problem.

PrettyFeet · 03/03/2015 23:16

How long has he been your boyfriend for OP?

beaglesaresweet · 03/03/2015 23:42

blue, out of interest, would it mean the blood sugar is low or high? and if low, how would you resolve it - surely not increasing the sugar uptake? a relative is like this and she craves sugar a lot and is 'up and down' in moods all the time. So if it is low what else is there to do? Op didn't mention mood swings as such though so possibly not her problem.

Debinaround · 03/03/2015 23:48

When I was like this to my DH a few years ago I was (unknown to us) 2 months pregnant! Very hormonal.

Couldn't be that could it?

LurkingHusband · 04/03/2015 10:27

Since hormones have been mentioned Smile MrsLH and I went through a spell (6-7 years) where she was an ogress (her words) at times. Just to me Sad.

Turned out she was suffering a (very) early menopause (late 20s). When it was finally spotted, HRT saved the day.

Although MrsLH has regular checks, her gynaecologists advice on knowing when to renew the implant is "ask your husband". And it really is a day/night kind of transformation.

pocketsaviour · 04/03/2015 11:13

beagles Your relative should have a fasting blood sugar test at the GP to check for diabetes. If it's not diabetes then these swings can be controlled by diet - basically by cutting out sugary foods (including some fruit) and choosing carbs which have a long energy release instead (e.g. porridge, wholemeal pasta, etc.) Eating smaller meals more often can also help with this.

boole I do think a trip to the GP is called for. Is there anything you can do to remove some of the stress in your life?

deplorabelle · 04/03/2015 13:12

I was going to say hormones too. The pill turned me into a bitch. I singled out other women in my life I was close to and was absolutely batshit hateful to them. Was fine with everyone else. Weird.

MrNoseybonk · 04/03/2015 13:22

LurkingHusband - how did they spot early menopause?
My wife has been struggling for about 18 months with what she calls "like PMT all the time".
She can be an ogress Smile to me, the children, her parents, anyone.
She's been on/off/on/off antidepressants without much success.
We did think of early menopause (she's 40) but she hasn't mentioned this to GP.

LurkingHusband · 04/03/2015 13:41

MrNoseybonk

It's a simple blood test - they measure the levels of the various hormones, and can spot if the level of oestrogen is too low.

MrsLH's was spotted when she was having problems with getting the right pill - leading to trying HRT tablets (useless) and eventually settling on an implant, which is replaced every six months or so. (As the gynae said, I know Smile). Another giveaway (in retrospect) was hot flushes. (Unfortunately MrsLH has MS, which can mimic zillions of diseases, so it's not always easy to pick up on other disorders).

The interesting thing was that MrsLHs DM also suffered an early menopause - however that was thought to be due to traumatic shock. Of course nowdays, it's probably genetic ...

The change in MrsLH really is Jekyll/Hyde, it's impossible to overstate it.