Fuck buddy?

[Shoegal0305]

So I have known this guy for 18 years. Worked together tho he now does the same job but in a different area. He has been in 2 serious relationships, one resulting in a child, I have the same. I fancied him from the minute I saw him, looks wise he is perfect and sense of humour wise we are extremely well matched...... All in all if I could 'design' the perfect man, it would be him!!

So we've been intimate a fair few times, all of which whilst we were both single I hasten to add! I have quite a few confidence issues, I'm a single mum, plump, feeling a bit sorry for myself lol! I reckon for the past year we've texted each other regularly, ive even found the confidence to meet him for coffee a few times (I feel he is way out my league so don't feel confident sexually with him......... Tho wit wise we are completely matched and if I ever see him in a work environment it is easier as no pressure re intimacy).

So he texts sometimes daily, telling me how beautiful I am, it usually gets sexual tho! So last night we were on a mutual friends night out, we planned to go together it was a fab night resetting in him coming back to mine for the inevitable!! Which was lovely and would've been better if not for my insecurities..... I won't let him see me naked and I prefer lights OFF!! Lol

All last night he kept telling me how beautiful I was. How gorgeous he finds me. I struggle with this's as I don't think I am and as I've said feel he is so gorgeous he could get any woman!!!

We tell each other we 'love' each other, usually at the ends of texts in a jovial 'love ya'type way. I really am happy single and feel it would take someone special to sweep me off my feet to give that up. But where he's concerned I feel I would love to get over all the bullshit and see him properly! It's really complicated as he is living with his folks at the min due to ex and son obviously living in the house they shared and he can't afford anywhere as he spends a fortune travelling to and from work.

Sorry for going on but my dilemma is do I sit him down and tell him how I feel? And what do I say? We are both alike so hence neither of us have confronted this!!!! He seems to give the impression he wants a relationship but it made it clear, but then neither have I! It's not like he comes round regular for sex and thenfucks off as he doesn't. I've not heard much from him today which I honestly normally wouldn't read into but last night was so bloody intense!!!! I want more of him!

Advice greatly appreciated.......

I feel like he's trying to keep you dangling...why send someone a 'xxx' text? Its like he cba but he's keeping his options open. Id be aware of his flattery as well. A lot of men use this as a way to hook women in.

Sorry luv :(

Shoe I feel for you.
The not knowing drives you insane. One way or another you need to put your feelings on the table. You clearly want more than a FB and whether or not he feels the same, you need to know.
If he doesn't want what you want then you need to end the FB arrangement. It will do nothing for your self esteem in the long run. If he does want what you want then you can take it from there!

I wish you loads of luck.

Thanks both your advice does ring true in my head........ I can honestly say I've never felt so much for one person for such a prolonged period of time!!!!! Obviously felt like this for other fuckwits I've berm disastrously involved with but this has been going on for YEARS!

And those years are exactly why, one way or another, you need to end the FB arrangement and move on.
If he does want more- great!
If he doesn't- you need to put it behind you and not waste any more of your time getting emotionally invested in a man that can't give you what you need and deserve!

I spent a fair amount of time on the dating threads under a different user name and there was one phrase I heard often-you are the prize!
Believe it.

Food...... Thanks for replying. I feel desperately sad as for many years we were great pals he is exactly on my wavelength (sense of humour and personality wise!) so I'm dreading not having him in my life at all. I think basically he's a weak man tho, as much as I think of him, his ex always has called the shots. I just need a confidence boost as I've said I feel he's way out my league so I really don't feel like I'm 'the prize' lol. X

He is not out of your league. No such thing. However, beyond that he could not possibly be for one of two reasons:

1. He is into you and feels the same - not out of your league
2. He's a cock who preys on women for sex - men in this category are the lowest of the low and you are in a league so far above him he does not deserve you wasting another moment of your time on him.

Oh...and you are most definitely the prize

The thing is because I know him, and have known him for 18 years I know he's not a cock! As such! I think I'd maybe feel more suspicious as to his motives if he was someone is met on a dating site of in a club? Does that make sense? I think that WHOEVER was in his life, he can't get past the ex! It's like he can't/won't let go. We have loads of mutual friends so again I know he's not out bed hopping. He's had two other women in his life since I've known him, apart from me and his ex. Both of which ended due to him going back to the ex.

I feel like I'm almost 'playing games' with him as im determined not to text him first!!!! Childish? Moi?
But I'm checking my phone constantly it's driving me mad!!! Part of me is saying let him make the first move and text and then I'm thinking what if he's sat thinking the same?! Ps I'm not 14 haha

Shoe I want to grab you and give you a shake- the only person that can tell you how he feels is him.

Waiting for him to put you out of your misery naturally is not going to happen. I feel that all of the compliments are to keep you on side and available to him.

You say you have never felt this strong for someone over such a prolonged period of time...I think that if it was going to move to the next level it would have done. If someone is really into you, you would know.

Are you dating other people?
If not please do. This feels really one sided to me and no one should be sat there waiting for someone to put them out of their misery with a flattering text and a quick shag for the cycle to start again.

You need to work on a positive self image and realise that you are so much more than that. Take control. Live your life. Contact him only to bring a conclusion to the situation, one way or another and then move on. The whole "ex" issue is a red herring, if he wants you, he wants you.

I spent a good number of years in a similar situation. Deep down I always knew I was nothing more than sex but kept holding on and being sucked in by the flattery. I made a decision to move on and ultimately met my lovely DP. There were no games, I knew he wanted to be with me.

You are master of your own destiny, I wish you lots of luck and happiness.

You must have heard the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Please don't think anyone is out of your league especially if you're just thinking about looks.

Life's too short, just tell him how you feel if you want something to happen. The situation with the ex might need discussion though.

Thankyou both I DO Need a good shake up

Great post Foodforthesoul.
SHe is right, Shoe, put yourself out of you misery - one way or bother - and move on.