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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So that's it.

78 replies

EveryDayTheSame · 27/02/2015 22:51

We're over. I'm devestated. My whole life in shatters. My poor DC with a broken family.

How will I get through this?

He doesn't love me. I love him, my best friend, he's always been there. I can't imagine life with out him.

OP posts:

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 28/02/2015 16:07

There's no point as I'll have to put house up for sale. DD ok , just an afternoon of tv and play.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 28/02/2015 16:46

Then go through the house and get any possessions or mementos that he'll want (or you don't) and put them away/box them up. You may end up crying over things but you'll feel better for it at the end.

cozietoesie · 28/02/2015 16:53

PS - I guess that what I'm thinking is that it's important to actually do something (although you have to care for DD so that's a start) and that it might as well be something productive. Even though what you're probably wanting is nothing more than to dive into bed, pull the covers over your head, and hope you wake up in 10 years time.

Paddlingduck · 28/02/2015 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 28/02/2015 18:16

Thank you all for all of your replies.

I have a part time job, we have a mortgage together. I can't afford the mortgage on my own and no way could afford to buy him out so probably will look at selling it.

Haven't applied for tax credits yet.

Would I be able to get help for housing? I could probably afford around 450 in rent at a stretch.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 28/02/2015 19:34

Keep an eye on the thread - lots of posters who can give you good advice on where to start on the money side of things.

Do you have a solicitor by the way?

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 28/02/2015 21:09

No not yet.

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cozietoesie · 28/02/2015 21:23

I think it would be a good idea for you to start looking around to find one then given that you have no friends of your own and - if I recall - no family locally. It's good to have someone with legal knowledge at your back if things become complicated and while many posters here have personal experience of the law and money in these situations, you can't really ask for (nor are they a substitute for) proper legal advice.

Some solicitors (not all) might even give you a free initial consultation if money is a bit tight. That's always worth asking about.

TabbyNicki · 28/02/2015 21:27

Im guessing theres another woman. Men never leave unless they have someone to go to

BuzzardBird · 28/02/2015 21:31

Yes, get your free 30mins. You need to turn your mind to practical and sort out how you and your DC are going to live.

He has handed all responsibility over to you.

Ouchbloodyouch · 01/03/2015 07:08

In your question about help with rent I believe you would. My friend receives HB and will do so until her former marital home is sold. If you want to see how much tax credits you will receive use their online calculator. Bear in mind it will only show the amount due up until April if you do it today. It will look low so you would have to calculate it over the year.

Ouchbloodyouch · 01/03/2015 07:10

I also second cozie suggestion of new bed linen. That helped me hugely and wasn't too expensive. Stuff that he hasn't seen before.

cozietoesie · 01/03/2015 08:41

How have you started off the day?

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 01/03/2015 13:28

We've spent some time all together this morning. Which was nice. Keeping it as normal as possible for DD.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 01/03/2015 14:29

Did you cope with that OK?

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 01/03/2015 15:52

Yeah it was lovely. Home now and I just feel so low again.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 01/03/2015 15:54

Actually, you sound a little improved - although still low as is to be expected. The mind adjusts to things and I suspect yours has been working away a little.

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 01/03/2015 16:39

I just want my family back together. I love him so much it hurts.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 01/03/2015 16:50

But he doesn't love you, Every.

That doesn't make you any less of a person or knock you into being some sort of lesser being. He just doesn't love you.

You'll come through this.

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 01/03/2015 18:36

I wish he had been horrible or done something wrong so I had something to hate about him. But I don't.

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Penguinsaresmall · 01/03/2015 18:46

every if you don't mind me saying, it seems to me that he has been horrible and done plenty to make you hate him.

You trusted him to build a life with, plan a future and have your dd with. He has thrown all that back in your face and left you to pick up the pieces. He isn't worthy of you loving him, and in time I think you will see that.

AnyFucker · 01/03/2015 19:29

is it really a good idea to play "Happy Families" in this way ?

it just seems cruel

I would look very quickly to him spending his time with the children on his own

cozietoesie · 01/03/2015 19:36

Oh I'd agree. He wants his cake and eat it.

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 02/03/2015 14:17

I'm doing it for DD. I think it's good for her to see us both together instead of us all of a sudden being apart.

This is day 1 of him having her. I'm sat alone in a pub. Not drinking.

OP posts:

Original poster

EveryDayTheSame · 02/03/2015 14:19

What am I meant to do now

OP posts:

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