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Original poster

what is this type of lying/joking

45 replies

Oneforyouoneforme · 27/02/2015 15:46

A man I've been seeing is successful and charming (this is relevant). During conversation he will say things that just aren't true and then laugh.

For example he'll say he owns shares in a nightclub, so the conversation continues with me saying something very general like "how long have u been involved with said club" its not totally beyond possibility that he could as I said he is quite successful in his career, but then a few minutes later he'll laugh and say, "i'm only joking." Another occasion he said he had quite a large tattoo on his back, cue me "I have one on my leg, whats yours", then after a few mins of discussion he'll laugh and say "only joking...of course I don't have a tattoo on my back." And the most recent conversation he'd mentioned buying a property near where he lives... again not entirely unbelievable but after a few minutes "no, of course I don't own that house."

What is the reasoning behind that? I'm always left a little baffled by our conversations.
TIA for any insight.

OP posts:
DeliciousMonster · 27/02/2015 15:47

Twattery? Fuckwittery? Cuntishness?

Who knows and who cares.

Wanker.

Anniegetyourgun · 27/02/2015 15:47

I believe the technical term is "being an asshole". Run away, run away.

CunningCat · 27/02/2015 15:48

Grin Delicious!!!

NickiFury · 27/02/2015 15:49

Oh Dear. Nothing to find attractive about such a fool really is there? Time for Dumpsville to get another resident.

MonkeyDLuffy · 27/02/2015 15:50

No idea but I don't like the sound of it.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 27/02/2015 15:50

My God - how weird

I think I would stop seeing him. Not joking.

PinkSquash · 27/02/2015 15:50

He's a wanker.

PatriciaHolm · 27/02/2015 15:51

Compulsive liar? Mean idiot who like poking fun at people he thinks of as gullible? Not a nice bloke anyway.

DownAtFraggleRock · 27/02/2015 15:51

He sounds hard work...

PetraStrorm · 27/02/2015 15:52

It's the conversational equivalent of finding you a comfy chair, settling you in it then kicking it out from under you while pointing and laughing. He's probably insecure, but frankly don't waste any time finding out, just leave him to his own knobbishness.

Rinkydinkypink · 27/02/2015 15:52

He's a headworker! Run away! He's testing you out and breaking you in.

WaxOnWaxOff · 27/02/2015 15:54

Next time he wants to make arrangements to see you, say "Sounds great, I'd love to come for dinner".... "only joking, I wouldn't really, you're a bit of a wanker".

Nomama · 27/02/2015 15:55

It has a name... it is called The Reason You Are Leaving.

That sounds so very weird... do you not just laugh back and say something rude, like "What the fuck are you on?"

I don't think I could cope with that at all!

TheCowThatLaughs · 27/02/2015 15:57

He sounds boring and annoying

LowLevelBlinging · 27/02/2015 15:57

he's playing with the power dynamic - look what I can do to make you feel stupid. ergh.

total cunt, run for the hills my love.

pictish · 27/02/2015 15:57

Um...I dunno...he seems to be testing how gullible you are, doesn't he?
Only...taking something someone says at face value isn't gullible, it's all we can really do until we know someone better.
He sounds like a wanker to me!

YoniMitchell · 27/02/2015 15:58

Christ. That must make dates pretty hard work. I'd have to ask him why he keep cracking these utterly shit 'jokes'. Is his sense of humour really that dire or is he just a dick?

Original poster
Oneforyouoneforme · 27/02/2015 16:04

Thanks for your replies. I don't think it is his sense of humour as he is able to find normal things funny IYSWIM. It's just sometimes he'll say these things, which I have no reason to doubt as I can't understand why he'd need to lie about it! I mean a tattoo fgs!! I am sometimes left feeling like a total idiot. Well the jury's come back with a unanimous verdict. I do feel a bit like a tit now.

OP posts:
HappyHippyChick · 27/02/2015 16:04

Next time he wants to make arrangements to see you, say "Sounds great, I'd love to come for dinner".... "only joking, I wouldn't really, you're a bit of a wanker".

Grin

This ^^ please, please do this!

pictish · 27/02/2015 16:04

What lowlevel said.

It's as though he is trying to make you feel stupid, but in a very unfair way, because like I said before, if someone you don't know well tells you something (like he owns shares in a nightclub) you tend to accept it, as you have nothing else for context.

If I told someone I used to work as a nanny for...let's say Nicola Sturgeon or someone like that, and they say "really? what was she like?" and I laugh at them and say "I didn't really" then that makes me a prick, right? I've made them feel stupid for believing me. But why wouldn't they?

Seems to me he's seeing how you react to being humiliated by him. Perhaps he likes women to feel stupid around him because it makes him feel powerful.

Be careful with this one.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/02/2015 16:06

Do you ever turn these 'jokes' back on him? Do you ever, for example, tell him that saying these stupid things make him sound like a complete tosser and to cut it out?

I would also interpret it as contempt. Fooling you and seeing how much you're prepared to believe. It's ridiculous

NickiFury · 27/02/2015 16:06

Well you shouldn't feel like that. YOU have been behaving entirely normally, showing interest and investing in getting to know him while he has just been a bit of a tool, exhibiting really quite bizarre behaviour. Honestly, it's NOT you.

lemisscared · 27/02/2015 16:07

He'll be telling you hes a spy soon. grt rid

pippop1 · 27/02/2015 16:09

He is, of course, totally untrustworthy. How can you ever believe a word he says? Step away from the idiot OP.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/02/2015 16:10

BTW. ... how do you know he's genuinely successful? He's obviously not all that charming. Maybe his whole back story is a big joke?

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