a question re an sti

[LadyRainicorn]

My dh has developed a not so lovely genital wart. I have never had one (that I have ever seen or noticed tbf). I have had previous sexual partners, he claims not (we got together quite young).

Is it likely that I carry it and have passed it on suddenly/flared up suddenly (we're talking over 10yrs) or... he's caught the virus someplace else?

They can lie dormant for years x

Thanks, I wondered about that.

The problem from my perspective is that he's not an innocent - he went through a spate if being, well, a sexually incontinent dickhead, using sex chat lines and sexting people. He admitted it was his problem (nothing like any of the 'script' type things I've seen on here) said he was a shit husband because of it, didn't blame me, swore he hadn't actually seen anyone in person (in light of this maybe not!) and worked hard to regain my trust.

Or I've given it to him and then I'd feel shit. He's really freaked out by it.

Either way I need a visit for me for a smear apparently.

I think you both need to get to a GUM clinic to have proper tests. Although HPV can lie dormant for years, if you have any doubts at all that your husband has been unfaithful you should get tested for other STIs too. They can usually do a smear at the same time

From NHS site...

It can take months, or even years, for warts to develop after infection with HPV. So if you're in a relationship and you get genital warts, it does not necessarily mean your partner has been having sex with other people.

I really don't think they can lie dormant for 10 years or that you can have had one without noticing, you would have had many flare ups in 10 years.

There is really only one answer as to how your partner could have a genital wart. Sorry.

They can also be internal. So you would never even know you had them.

It's possible for you to carry hpv and that could cause genital warts in your partner without you having visible symptoms. The timeline makes this unlikely but not impossible.

I found out I carry the hpv virus during a smear,colonoscopy/biopsy, never had a wart despite suffering with awful coldsores for years, dh never had one either, Gp said we are both carriers but don't have symptoms and that's it, could have caught it from any of my 3 partners over last 16 years, with dh for 11 of those so quite possible imo

Hoo-fucking-ray. The wriggle room of doubt.

Interesting mmmbacon

Unfortunately OP they can just suddenly show.

Best thing is no sex or very safe sex until you have been tested.

His history doesn't help with peace of mind though

there are many different strains of hpv, not all cause warts, so bacon its quite possible you and your dh have one of those strains. The fact that OP hasn't had any but her dh has does change the picture somewhat.

In OP's position I'd be suspicious but not definitive.

Hmm if he has had sex with someone else and hasn't already said I can't see him admitting it now if he hasn't already, especially if there's some uncertainty.

Yes countess, forgot there are like a hundred strains, the one I have is linked to cervical cancer so at the time the whole sti part washed over me and dh as we were waiting on result of biopsy and treatment to get rid of cin cells

Gp did say he reckons 1 in 3 has it and not to dwell on the how's and why's,

I wonder if you can get tested to see if you have the strain of HPV which causes genital warts.

Both dh and I have had warts and verrucas elsewhere on our bodies and this thing looks very much like a wart but (ahem) on his balls (he is going to the docs later). Is it possible it's a general wart that's cropped up there?

Just trying to think in his defence rather than go ballistic and completely renegotiate the terms of our relationship. And lose a shit load of respect for him too. And maybe no small measure of love

Well, different strains of hpv cause different types of warts, and they are habitat specifc. hpv1 causes foot warts (verrucas etc) while hpv 6 and 11, for example cause genital warts. You don't find hpv1 on your nads.

Oh well. Thanka anyway

Sorry not to be more help. IT's just impossible to use this as definitive in either direction, there are too many variables.

Oh it's not your fault!

Dh has now semi convinced himself that he's somehow transferred warts from his foot to his scrotum (as it sometimes rests there during the act). I think the fact all the google images show clusters of alien looking looking growths and this looks like a wart isn't helping. He says he'll ask when he goes to the docs. I wonder if I'll get the real answer back?

Are you speaking from personal experience Fannyfifer?

I have had them. Doctor said they could have been from any one of my partners during the previous 8 years. I only ever had one, five years ago (that I know of because yes they can be internal). Never since, although who knows when it might flare up again.

So yes, it may well be OP who passed it to him and it's only just showed up now - particularly as they flare up less regularly in men (less wet warm delicate skin).

OP, are you sure it's a genital wart? Could be something else - he should get checked.

If it is a genital wart, it's no big deal in my opinion. They don't hurt, just look nasty. The strain of HPV that causes warts isn't the same as the ones that cause cancer - but for all you know you could have that strain too. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks

We are both going to get checked out. I know I could have had internal ones and I'm not up to date on smear tests so that's a vague worry now in the back of my mind.

I have kept this speculation away from him and told him that as it can only be passed on through sexual contact, I am his only sexual partner, ergo I gave it to him and apologised. He came back with his mad foot theory.

If he comes back telling you the dr said it could be from his foot, I would notch up the suspicions a bit. Unless you're dr's a bit of a dick (a few know very little about sti's).

He'll probably go to the local GUM type clinic.

We talked on the phone earlier as I had panicked him a bit by pointing out whatever the case, I almost certainly had it, and he's pulling a fairly convincing mystified act. Also worrying how utterly clueless he was about hpv and cancer, he had no idea about the vaccine for instance. We have two dds!

I know it's difficult to do this now, but relax: HPV is sooo common, as are genital warts and as I say they're really no big deal. If you have other reasons to suspect he's cheating then fair enough, but if just this then I wouldn't worry too much.

Definitely get checked out and go for a smear as you should be doing that anyway.

And if you need anything else in the way of comfort, try watching episode three of season one of 'Girls' - 'All adventurous girls do'...