a question re an sti

[LadyRainicorn]

My dh has developed a not so lovely genital wart. I have never had one (that I have ever seen or noticed tbf). I have had previous sexual partners, he claims not (we got together quite young).

Is it likely that I carry it and have passed it on suddenly/flared up suddenly (we're talking over 10yrs) or... he's caught the virus someplace else?

It sounds like it's his reaction making you worry more. Is it a case of you think he doth protest too much?

If you still feel crap about the sexting stuff, you can still leave him on that alone. It doesn't matter how long ago it was or if you thought you had moved on. If it turns out it did irrevocably damage the trust you had in him, that his fault and can't be helped.

You don't have to have concrete 'proof' that he had sex with someone else. It's not a court of law.

What actually happened with the sexting? Was there anything at the time that made you think he had met up with someone?

Actually , if he hasn't been unfaithful then I must have given it to him and I feel really crap about it.

At the time was much like this - too many variables, no proof and he was desperate not to lose me. He didn't push any blame on me, or any of that kind of thing.

I have an awful lot of terrible shit happening in my life right now. To the point where an unfaithful but otherwise supportive husband is not the end. I can do without deceit though.

Can you go to the gp for this kind of thing or is it the GUM clinic only, does anyone know?

I think it's the clinic only I'm afraid. I had to go after my ex boyfriend contacted me to say he had chlamydia.
They gave me antibiotics then and there to take whilst I was waiting for the test results. But it actually turned out I didn't have it anyway.

They were really lovely and caring there. It was dealt with very sensitively. They've seen it all and no one judges you.

I'm sorry you are going through this and that you have so much stuff going on. Is there anyone irl you can talk to for support?

I remember if being an extra pain as the clinic only had stupid opening hours so I had to take time off of work.

Fingers crossed for you. If they can test you and you don't have it though, doesn't that give you your answer?

Has your husband only slept with you to your knowledge?

If it was you that contracted it unknowingly over ten years ago then you can't beat yourself up about it! If you had it and knowingly infected someone that's different but that's not the case at all.

I know two people who have had it and they got them v soon after being infected. That is how one friend discovered her husband was cheating.

If they can test you and you don't have it though, doesn't that give you your answer?

^ what Pam said

Sorry this is happening to you and your DH OP.

A few bits of info that might be helpful...

Firstly, he can to go to his GP and get a diagnosis - it could just be a skin tag. GPs can diagnose GWs and also prescribe cream to treat them, although they may as a matter of course recommend that you both go to the GUM clinic to get a full screening. You might also find it hard to get the cream from a normal pharmacist depending on where you live - sometimes it is easier to go to the GUM clinic to get it.

There is currently not test on the NHS for the HPV strain that causes GWs (to the best of my knowledge) so if you don't have any visible warts, you may be a carrier of them and never know.

You can carry the virus and pass it on without ever having any symptoms.

GWs can lie dormant in an infected person for years and years - there is usually an outbreak if the person is run down etc so it is plausible that DH has had it for years.

The HPV strains that can cause cancer are not the same ones that cause GWs and they are screened for now as part of a normal smear - you can get this checked out via a normal smear test but they will only be looking for the strains that cause cancer and NOT GWs.

Is this the only reason you suspect him of being unfaithful?

The reason I am quite knowledgeable on the subject is because this happened to me - I was in your DHs situation - had a GW and have never been unfaithful to DH. Luckily, my DH trusts me completely and had no reason to suspect me of any wrongdoing (there wasn't any) so it isn't really a big deal at all for us - they come and go and when they come I go to my GP and get cream to treat them, when they go we forget all about it. They really are very common.

Good luck with everything - I hope you get to the bottom of it all and there is an innocent explanation.

We have an explanation of sorts...

Dh has a single molluscum. On the back of balls (he thinks where he nicked himself trimming his pubes, the weirdo).

Now on quarantine lockdown mode for fresh towels etc.

I'd never heard of them before mumsnet. He believes the nurse's breezy it'll drop off in a week and it'll all be fine. Poor fool.

I've given up on understanding where it came from.

Lots and lots of threads about molloscum - and it is really contagious so even a borrowed towel might have been enough for him to pick it up.

You'll be wanting to keep your distance for a while...

Oh, I know I read about them in horrified fascination ehen I first joined.

Dh finds heath stuff 'icky' and didn't know of them. One of the first things I said was but there's only one and he said the nurse said that to the consultant/doctor as well! Which freaked him out.