About 3 years ago I was on the phone to my mum who was telling me all about my little sisters latest behaviour problems, her refusing to go to school, her acting up and one which shocked me...making up sick stories.
I asked what she meant about "making up sick stories" and she said "she tried telling us that *** had sexually abused her!".
This made me go cold, the man my sister had tried to tell people was abusing her HAD done it to me as a child so instantly, I believed her.
My mum said "what's wrong?" and I told her everything and told her that my sister was probably telling the truth.
I was devestated, maybe if I had been brave enough to say something he wouldnt have had the opportunity to do it to her? anyway the damage had been done, my mum was obviously very upset and said she would speak to her hubby when he got in from work.
She did, she told him what I had said and that it looked like their DD was telling the truth (she was 10 btw). He turned around and said that they couldnt do much without proof. My mum said she wanted to tell my grandmother (the man is her husband) but due to her ill state of health she didnt want to put the extra pressure on and upset her. It was decided that they would "leave it" .
Anyway, me, my mum, my sister and my 2 children had a holiday booked, a week away in a caravan that my mum owned. It had been booked for some time and we were all looking foward to it. One day my mum phones me and says "I dont know how to tell you this....but grandma has decided that her and *** will come up and stay with us for a few days when he go away".
I was livid, I told her that there was no way in hell that my children would be staying in a caravan...or ANYWHERE whilst he was there. My mum said I would spoil the whole trip if I didnt go. I told her if he went, I didn't. She said I was putting her in an impossible situation as she didnt want to upset my grandma but it was perfectly bloody ok to put my kids in danger? I asked her if she believed me about what I had said, she said she did but she was scared of upsetting my grandma. I told her that even if I did agree to go my DH would never in a million years allow the kids to as he knew all about . Well, she said..."just lie to him, tell him isnt going..." . How the hell would I have reacted if DH had done that to me? took the kids away behind my back knowing that they would be staying with a bloody paedophile?
In the end, as it happened *** decided not to go so all went ahead as normal. I was so annoyed over it though that after 3 days I lost it and had a massive row with my mother and ended up phoning DH to come and pick me up, 2 upset children and a ruined holiday.
Anyway, we made up in the end but she still doesnt see what she did wrong, this is 3 years ago and I just can't get over it. What has shocked me further is that they allowed my sister to go and stay at my grandmas house overnight last year so they could have a night out! .
We're all on friendly terms now but I can't get this out of my head, she treats it like a big joke...for instance we were on about a trip to london and my mum said "yeah, we'll take *** and you can go on the london eye with him!" for a 'laugh'... who the hell would joke about their kids being sexually abused?