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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My bitch of a mother

29 replies

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 12:55

I was supposed to have my brother for most of this week, it being half term. I took the week off work. It required a lot of planning because my mother and I do not get on and I didn't want her in my home, so I agreed that I'd meet her halfway (1.5 hr drive as opposed to 3hr drive) with the kids in the services for lunch and then drive my brother to ours. Only now she's gone and thrown a spanner in the works just to make a point. He apparently cannot come now until Friday and he gets picked up by my sister on Sunday, which means I only have one full day with him!

And she had a bloody go at me on the phone - she still thinks she's the innocent party and we are all evil, naturally!

If it wasn't for my brother I wouldn't have any contact with her at all, but whilst he is still with her I have to keep doing these things and no matter how hard I try, she still manages to get to me!

OP posts:

SherlockLGJ · 23/10/2006 12:56

soapbox · 23/10/2006 12:57

What's her excuse for changing the arrangements?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/10/2006 12:58

oh shit.

Why cant he come until friday?

Can you not go get him from there?

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 13:01

She says he is ill, but he was well enough to go to Blackpool yesterday and out again tomorrow. All he does all week is stare out of the window because she has no arrangements in place for him jobwise or anything else!

I used to care quite a bit for him, but she obviously knows she can use him as a tool to get to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 13:02

It's a 6 hour return trip for me to get him with the kids, which is why I suggested we meet halfway.

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/10/2006 13:09

Ah go for it Rhubarb. Kids will be fine.

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 13:11

No, it's too long for the kids. And there is no guarantee she'd let him come with me anyway. Plus dh is now on her side and thinks I should let them come here with him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 13:22

She's just a silly old woman
She's just a silly old woman
She's just a silly old woman

OP posts:

peegeeweegeeWITCH · 23/10/2006 13:49

What does your brother have to say about this? Why cant he decide when he wants to come to yours, instead of letting your/his mum decide???

Don't let your mum wind you up, she is obviously one of those annoying types who like have everyone else dancing to their tune....

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 14:14

My brother would be here like a shot if he could, but he has severe learning difficulties and relies on them taking him places. He basically has to do what they say and they don't put proper measures in to make sure he has a nice life, in fact they go out of their way to make him as dependant on them as they possibly can. And her shit of a husband has even said that when mum dies, he is pissing off to Spain on the money and we can "shove up our arses"

Nice people as you can imagine.

OP posts:

MamaGhoul · 23/10/2006 14:31

so basically you're stuck and you can't change anything. Grrr how bloody annoying. I agree a 6 hour journey is too much for your children though.

carnation · 23/10/2006 16:39

Hi sorry could not really chat all those spies you know!!!!!! T.B.H. I would have called her bluff and said that it was not convenient for you on Friday and if it meant he could not come at all as she had Tues, Wed and Thurs to consider then so be it. She knows he is bored and he will be mithering her to death all week and I am sure that she would have reconsidered rather than him not coming to you at all. Also it is only herself she is thinking of it certainly isn't about you or the kids. You have to think about yourself in this situation and now you have all week to worry. Tell her that dh needs the car that day as his work is too far without and give her the problem to solve. She will not come all the way there and back in one day no danger of that.

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 21:48

Cheers sis, I'll wait till tomorrow and see what happens. I am a bit concerned now actually that other people may get wind of this site and my posts, it could be worth changing my nickname methinks.

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peegeeweegeeWITCH · 23/10/2006 22:18

Ah Rhubarb, I see...

What a pain, part of me would be tempted to call my mothers bluff...

Don't understand her though, surely she would be grateful of a few days respite from him (that is not meant nastily, i hope you know what you mean)

I guess if you want to see your brother, and (understandibly) want to do what is best for him, you will have to try and get to him somehow...
Feel for you.

Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 22:22

Thanks peeweebeegeethingy - who are you btw?

Have started another thread asking what to do, now have a kind of idea that involves lying through my teeth!

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Original poster

Rhubarb · 23/10/2006 22:24

here look!

OP posts:

peegeeweegeeWITCH · 24/10/2006 10:00

Hi rhubarb

I am peegeeweegeewoo - very new to MN but loving it...

Mum to 7 yr old ds and 3 yr old dd, married, 34, living in Surrey, SAHM.....

DarkAlleyBongo · 24/10/2006 10:11

oh rhubarb how bloody awful and selfish of her. Will he be v disappointed? My SIL has DS, and I know how she can be when she has her mind set to do something, you don't do cyber hugs, so have a virtual back slap

DarkAlleyBongo · 24/10/2006 10:11

welcome peeeeeeeegeeeeweeeeeee

Original poster

Rhubarb · 24/10/2006 13:16

Ta Bongo mate, and hello peeeeeweeeeeeeegeeeeeeeebeeeeeeeees! I thought you might be a name changer you see, it gets very confusing round here during Halloween because so many regulars change their names!

I've not heard anymore from The Screaming Banshee. I was going to say that dd had a party on the Friday, but she actually has one on the Sunday and the problem with lies is that I'm not very good at telling them! I might pluck up the courage to ask her outright if he can come earlier though.

OP posts:

DarkAlleyBongo · 24/10/2006 15:14

go on, if you don't like her you have nothing to lose

Original poster

Rhubarb · 24/10/2006 15:16

I will do this evening. Why pretend that it's ok? It's not ok and I should tell her that.

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DarkAlleyBongo · 24/10/2006 15:18

go for it. surely she won't be as malicious to him. I'll go stalk her if you like..

Original poster

Rhubarb · 24/10/2006 15:22

She has ruined his life in more ways than one Bongo pal!

I won't say that I can't have him Friday because she would in all likelihood tell him that I've said no and then he'd be heartbroken. But I will tell her that it is highly inconvenient and I shall not be wanting to socialise, it'll be a grab him and go job!

OP posts:

Pages · 24/10/2006 19:15

You are a lovely sister. Thank goodness he has you.

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