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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

,urgent advice needed-should i call the police?

31 replies

summersonitsway · 15/02/2015 08:33

My ex p still has a key to my house which he won't give back. He tried to let himself in at 8am today. I'm scared. He has never been violent to me but he is a violent man- often fighting & although he would have needed to drive to get here he is probably drunk too. Should I call the police? 999 or 101? I don't want to waste their time but I'm shaking and scared. Advice please

OP posts:
ChazzerChaser · 15/02/2015 08:33

Yes, call.

coolaschmoola · 15/02/2015 08:34

In your situation I would definitely call them.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 15/02/2015 08:34

Yes, call the police. Hope they come quickly and you are ok.

GoooRooo · 15/02/2015 08:34

Yes call. And change the locks!

Perfectlypurple · 15/02/2015 08:35

Is he there now? If so yes call 999. If he has left call 101.

Kahlua4me · 15/02/2015 08:36

Yes I would call them straight away.

lunar1 · 15/02/2015 08:36

Police then a locksmith

scarletforya · 15/02/2015 08:36

Yep, call, that's what the police are for. Also change your locks asap.

ajandjjmum · 15/02/2015 08:38

Change the locks anyway - even if he gave the key back, he could have got a copy made.

Original poster
summersonitsway · 15/02/2015 08:39

Locks are being changed tomorrow hopefully.

OP posts:
tribpot · 15/02/2015 08:42

Can you secure the house today by fitting a chain or some bolts? At least that means he can't get in whilst you're inside.

Original poster
summersonitsway · 15/02/2015 08:52

If my key is on the inside of the door it can't be opened from outside. This works while I'm here but I do have to go out later so he could get in while I'm not here

OP posts:
Original poster
summersonitsway · 15/02/2015 08:54

I'm scared the police won't take this seriously but I'm going to call now

OP posts:
georgepigsdinosaur · 15/02/2015 09:05

Why call the police? What are you hoping they're going to do? Why not just change the locks today?

ClarasLovelyYoungMum · 15/02/2015 09:48

Just call an emergency locksmith rather than waiting till tomorrow & swallow the £100 or so fee

LokiBear · 15/02/2015 10:06

You can change the locks yourself if money is an issue. The lock and key system costs about £15 from b&q and is very simple to do.

Sallyingforth · 15/02/2015 10:09

And get a door chain fitted too

DeliciousMonster · 15/02/2015 10:11

Can you leave your front door key in and slip out the back door for today, go get a new lock and fit it when you get back?

loveyoutothemoon · 15/02/2015 11:23

What did he come back for?

Nolim · 15/02/2015 11:24

Change the locks

Original poster
summersonitsway · 15/02/2015 17:16

Why call the police? Because I'm scared that's why. Jeez posted for advice, how exactly is that helpful??
I called 101 and although there's nothing they can do if he's not actually here they told me to call 999 straight away if he turns up.

OP posts:
Hissy · 15/02/2015 19:51

I think you should have popped down to a diy store and got some new locks/barrels yourself and googled how to change them,

But I do understand that you'll have been panicked.

Don't take this shit from this ex, he has no right to terrorise you.

Hymencowell · 15/02/2015 21:20

What if he turns up while she's changing the locks? Op do you have a family member or a friend that can help with your lock situation? The police are fucking useless sometimes! Or call a local handyman.. Even a bolt is safer for now.. What a dick he sounds! Hope you get it sorted!

If throw a bucket of water out the window next time but that's just me! Hmm

SolidGoldBrass · 15/02/2015 21:25

Have you got a tough friend/family member who can come over and hold your hand and stay in the house while you go out? While you could get an emergency locksmith out, it will be very expensive on a Sunday.

You did the right thing calling 101: it will now be on record that there is a potential problem at your address so you will get a faster response if he does turn up again. It might also be worth looking into the possibility of a court order to keep him away.

Though his behaviour is unacceptable and must have been very frightening whatever the circumstances, are there any of his belongings in your home and do you think he might have been intending to retrieve those rather than attack you? Just because, if that's the case, you could perhaps put the things on the step with a note for him, or arrange for them to be returned to him?

Original poster
summersonitsway · 16/02/2015 20:29

Locks changed. I couldn't afford a locksmith on a Sunday.there are none of his things here except our dog which we bought when we were together and is now our family dog but he wants to take him away although he works away a lot and couldn't possibly look after him. I have blocked his number so he can no longer text or call my mobile. I hope that's the end of it but I very much doubt it - he slashed my car tyre last time he was here

OP posts: