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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does this girl that is a friend have something for me? Or I'm I looking too far in to things?

35 replies

TopMan1995 · 15/02/2015 03:50

And no. Before you start thinking I have a thing. To me were just friends and she has a recectly broke up with her bf.

I mean she says quite a lot of weird stuff. But today at work she told me to buy her a valentines card?! .Lol she wasn't joking about it either.

Though she is in troubled relationship with her bf. I always get the feeling she likes me or at least finds me attractive, or just wants to be closer than just work friends.

She stares, as I can see her from the corner of my eye or I'll catcher her from a far, if not close.Though she is quite a starer lol, though I have seen it a lot of the time with me. After she found me on FB, now she texts me with kisses like every Friday asking what time imma make it for work lol. I mean that's just weird though? Like every Friday, she wants to text me? The same stuff?

She even, when in a relationship (still is) months ago when I only just started to know her. Said this " I Iove you, say you love me back" We actually had a bust up about this. Cause I asked her bf's friend if they were still together. Just because I though it was weird for her to say that. I mean "love" is a strong word to use just for just liking someone lol. Her Bf when mad and asked her "why you asking him that?!!". She comes to me next week and says she doesn't really mean it. It was a joke and says that she says that to everyone she is friends with at work, she also apparently touches peoples biceps or stomach she is friends with (she did this quite a lot when I first knew her) at work also. Though after that bust up with me and her she doesn't really act like that anymore, though we are friends again.

I know I'm sort of helping her through he bf problems a little, but then she is asking is she's prettier than so and girls that her bf has met at clubs. And now this buy me a Valentines card thing, is just confusing me.

She even wrote on my pay slip once. Hi "My name" your late again love "her name" And then wrote on next months pay slip your late again?! smiley. love " her name" x. Like ? I'm just taking this as, it's just her.

When broken up. She decided to screen munch the text and text em to me.
Like this girls is weird.

Lol she said she wanted to talk to someone and chose me. bout her still wantin.being lonely. but she hates him. And bf saying don't SMS every again. Etc typical girl emotions. Why she didn't talk to her closer friends instead of me? meh. Maybe cause her now semi-ex didn't really allow guy friends.

Anyway now after all this break up and comfort , that I now know I shouldn't be doing. Though I was just being a friend. She went out on a night out with her mates after work. And sent me pictures of her.one before club n other in club toilet. Lol I didn't bother going to work that evening either. Thought after the pics she sent me "kisses for naawww" like wth? That means but whatever.I just said "enjoy urself n forget bout textin me, u ain't making sense" must be drunken typo right?

I mean, I'm sorry. Am I really in the wrong for reading signals like that. I mean what girls does these things? it's weird. Confusing as hell.

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 15/02/2015 04:11

You know what, she's not even a friend. She's a colleague, and a flaky one at that. She doesn't love you. She loves herself. She doesn't know how to take care of herself either. Stay well clear. Have a chat with HR about her actions. It's not to be encouraged in the work environment.

peachgirl · 15/02/2015 10:00

It's half term this week isn't it Grin

NollaigShona · 15/02/2015 10:05

She sounds like an attention seeking user. Lol.

Run.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/02/2015 12:24

If this is genuine you're being flirted with in a way that is about a subtle as a house-brick. She sounds insecure, desperate and needy. If you're not interested in this person romantically then tell her straight to stop with all the silly messages and so on. I don't think she'll ever settle for just being a friend so you'll probably have to give her a wide berth.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 15/02/2015 12:58

You sound about 13

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 15/02/2015 13:22

How old are you both?

She sounds like she's attention seeking. Are you interested in her? If not it doesn't matter whether she likes you or not, surely? Just be friendly and polite and don't engage with the flirting.

nilbyname · 15/02/2015 13:25

I mean, lol wth?!

TopMan1995 · 15/02/2015 14:45

I mean she is a friend. Though she acts weird like how I explain to you'll. I'm 19 years old

OP posts:
TopMan1995 · 15/02/2015 14:46

I wouldn't have a job if I was 13. Now would i?

OP posts:
Cantbelievethisishappening · 15/02/2015 14:52

I wouldn't have a job if I was 13. Now would i?

It's the internet. Anything is possible behind the safety a monitor Hmm

Ok.... what i should have said is that you sound incredibly immature as does your 'friend'.

TopMan1995 · 15/02/2015 14:54

I'm not. though I feel bad for being to direct like that. Were friends from the same sixth form also. Not just work friends. Though I only knew her in the last year. Years before. When she got the same job after me. We were in different departments and she would stare quite a bit. Didn't think that was at the time because I never Knew thought she might of just liked me. But when I found out she was in relationship. It became strange that she did these things

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 15/02/2015 14:54

lol Confused Hmm

TopMan1995 · 15/02/2015 14:57

Well I'm sorry if I sound so. Everyone is different. And I don't mean it. I just wanted know what she was playing at that's all. She is quite a sensitive person by the looks of it. I'm mean she cried over a customer going off on her

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 15/02/2015 14:58

The girl is confused because you use 'LOL' a lot and she thinks it stands for 'Lots of Love'.

Please stop 'lolling' all over MN, we don't like it.

BuzzardBird · 15/02/2015 15:03

Although I can't really understand your OP very well and supposing you are for real, then you just need to be blunt and tell her you are not interested. If she continues to pursue you then speak to HR.

stareatthetvscreen · 15/02/2015 15:10

aww i think you are being harshly treated here.

i think she likes you - i also think that if you are not interested romantically tell her and stop acting like a friend.she is getting confused, as i would in the same situation.i am a very affectionate person and 'love' my friends too.
be blunt it will be best in the long term.

BolshierAyraStark · 15/02/2015 16:08

You LOL quite a lot Op...

If you're not interested then tell her so, bluntly as she doesn't sound like she does subtle.

Fairenuff · 15/02/2015 16:16

Yeah well, if you ask me, you should ask her bff again to ask her bf if they still kinda semi broken lol

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 15/02/2015 16:17

The problem is OP that none of us can tell you 'what she's playing at' as we don't know her. Maybe she likes you, maybe she likes flirting with you, maybe that's just the way she is. If you like her, tell her. If you don't, let her know that you're not interested romantically. Don't flirt back. Don't engage.

Greysanderson · 15/02/2015 16:28

I think the people on this site are a little old for you their more likely to talk about your grammar.

Whether she likes you or not my advice is the same, stay away she seems like a attention seeking trouble maker.

TopMan1995 · 15/02/2015 18:06

Well anyway. I thank everyone for your advice.And I will avoid getting to close with her.
And to clear any confusion. Its not that I don't like her romantically because of her looks or personality. I mean her being my friend means I like her as a person. Its just i choosebnot to like her that way. Because I know her situation/status and I'm being respectful person.

OP posts:
Osirus · 15/02/2015 18:41
  • wouldn't have a job if I was 13. Now would i?

Your OP was written as if you were a 13 year old girl. That's why you were asked if you were 13. It also sounds female to me! But then, I don't know many 19 year old boys maybe they write like 13 year old girls? The post was very hard to read.

Anyway, ignore the girl or tell her to back off. Unless you like her of course...

pocketsaviour · 15/02/2015 18:55

TopMan I'm guessing you're the same age as my son (19) and you might be interested to know he was in a very similar situation with a girl a few months ago.

What is happening here is that this young lady (who has a lot of growing up to do by the sounds of it) is using you for two three purposes:

  1. She is flirting with you (very obviously) and wants you to fancy her, as that will make her feel sexy and desirable. It will also make her boyfriend jealous (already has done) -insecure people often do this as they think it will make their girlfriend/boyfriend more committed if they think someone else is interested. (It doesn't work.)
  2. She is keeping you interested and on a little string so that a) she has someone to talk to about her boyfriend woes and she finds it more satisfying than to talk to a male who may be interested in her, than to a female friend, and b) if she does split with the boyfriend, she's keeping you in reserve.
  3. Work is bloody boring sometimes and a little flirtation makes the day go quicker Grin

I think you are doing the right thing by just considering her as a friend but I think you may need to lay it out on the table for her and tell her that she needs to stop the flirting stuff because it's WRONG for her to be doing that when she's got a boyfriend.

You sound like your heart's in the right place. Carry on Smile

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 15/02/2015 19:07

Aww poor OP.
Let him have his LOLs while he's young enough to enjoy them Wink

BuzzardBird · 15/02/2015 20:21

Greysanderson Sun 15-Feb-15 16:28:22
I think the people on this site are a little old for you their more likely to talk about your grammar.

You cannot see the irony in this post Greysanderson? Grin

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