Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fuckwit is trying to argue with me again. Analyse this one ...

49 replies

TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:38

Today is ds2s birthday so we bought him a cake. Half if it went on the 4 lads we share between us (my two and his two, ages 14, 16, 18 and 20. Half was left. Neither me nor dp had any. So later in the night I went to get some and notice only two pieces are left. I said "thought there was half a cake left? Let's save the rest for tomorrow". That was it ... No allegations, no blame, no concern really!! Just stating the fact that the cake had disappeared rather quickly. Dp jumps on the defense saying "I just had some!". His youngest then admitted that he'd had another piece. I was like "well, whatever ... " and went to wait to put on the movie dp and I were supposed to be watching. Anyway he came in and said "don't know if I want to watch a movie with you now after your performance over the cake" Confused not wanting to play his usual power struggle I simply said "ok" and turned it off. He then kicked off because id turned the movie off. (I think I was supposed to beg). I then said "sorry but you're going to have to find someone else to argue with because I can't be arsed. If you want to watch the movie we'll watch it, if you don't, we won't". He went off to bed in a strop and will now ignore me for days.

OP posts:
Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:40

Oh and he outright denies saying he'd had any cake

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 13/02/2015 23:41

Sounds like he's got PMS.

jimmycrackcornbutidontcare · 13/02/2015 23:41

You referred to your OH as 'fuckwit' in the OP. Really

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:42

More like PJD. (Post jack Daniels )

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 13/02/2015 23:42

Gaslighting if he's denying something he said.

If it's like this all the time you need to consider your exit options.

Yes, that is a fancy pants term for LTB

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 23:43

If this is a fairly regular pattern of pretneding to be mortally offended over petty matters then it's unpleasant and probably intended to provoke an argument. Are you mid divorce? Something like that?

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:44

Yes he does it ALL the time. The slightest thing he blows up into a huge row and then drags it on forever. I'm fatigued with it.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 23:45

So what's the plan? Are you sticking around for more of the same or is it going to be cited as one of your irreconcilable differences?

DCITennison · 13/02/2015 23:46

There's onviously been more conversation about the bloody cake if he "outright denies saying he'd had any cake".

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:47

Not married thank fuck. We're engaged to be married which is the biggest joke of all.

All thus after a 13 hour shift btw and he started as soon as I got in saying I hadn't put kisses on his texts during the day ...

OP posts:
nozzz · 13/02/2015 23:48

What is the story then - have you broken up with him?

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:50

He said he'd had cske. His son then admitted that HE'D had the cake so I'm assuming dp said he'd had it to try and hide the fact that his son had took it. Once he'd admitted it there was no point so he decided he'd never said it to start with.

The funny thing was, after I initially mentioned it I just went into living room with a "oh well, whatever" philosophy and got ready to watch a movie. THAT could have been the end of it but nooooo god forbid dp pass up on a chance to drag on am 'argument' over nothing

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 23:52

I think I have it. He has forgotten to get you a Valentine card or present and is therefore creating a row situation so that he can stomp off and preempt any flak.

Glad you're not married. A lot cheaper to get out.

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:53

Yeah cog, must admit i thought the same.

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 13/02/2015 23:53

So what are you doing with him?

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 13/02/2015 23:54

He's just got a million times worse in the past few months, he wasn't always like this

OP posts:
nozzz · 13/02/2015 23:56

Why are you with him?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/02/2015 23:57

Sometimes upcoming marriage can make nasty types think that you're now their property and they can stop trying so hard. How long have you been seeing each other?

NamesNick · 13/02/2015 23:58

fuckwit wants to have his cake and eat it

NecklessMumster · 14/02/2015 00:02

Mine is like this sometimes, apparently I don't ring him often enough when I'm at work. Today I went to work early which he decided to take as a personal insult. Instead of a 10 min row it went on all day

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 14/02/2015 00:02

I don't know, I've slowly found myself falling out of love with him anyway. He sabotages my exams, sabotages my job interviews, sabotages anything I look forward to, once left me crying in the middle of a dodgy thai street because is dared to question his choice of hotel (and no amount if apologising from me would stop him dragging it on). He ruined Christmas Day being a miserable twat and laying on the sofa all morning in a mood over nothing. I just fail to see how life could possibly be worse as a singleton? At least then I'd have the chance to meet somone who actually respected and liked me ffs

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 14/02/2015 00:04

Leave him OP. You dont like him. Look at how you speak about him. Get out and live on your own with your DCs having as much cake as you like. How draining and monotonous to have petty squabbles over every little thing. You dont have to have that in your life.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/02/2015 00:08

Of course life wouldn't be worse as a singleton. I'm a singleton. No one makes my life miserable...

Original poster
TooGoodyTwoShoes · 14/02/2015 00:10

I'm at the point now where I refuse to allow myself to look forward to anything because I know 100% he'll spoilt it. I actually fantasise about being free and single.

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 14/02/2015 00:14

So whats stopping you doing it?