has anyone felt let down by dh during labour?

[perfectlybroken]

I did, and think I have come to terms with it, but never really spoken to anyone about it. Has anyone felt the same way?

With my 3rd, EXH Rang from work to ask how I was at noon, I said i think im in labour as had been getting pains, (And I carried on decorating, I had to finish it and put up the festoon blind- it was early 90-s lol)
He then said ah ok I'll do some overtime then and stay till 5pm?? wtf!!

When he did come home and it was full on labour, he sat in labour room with stupid ski patterned jumper on in a rocking chair like val bloody doonigan moaning how tired he was!!! Nurses gave me a pity look!!

Day after I had Ds, & was stil in hospial in those days, he went out, got drunk and tried drunkenly to get into bed with my DM who was staying to care for DD's as he couldnt cope on his own!

I ended up leaving him some years later anyway cos he was a twat!

Most men I think are just bloody useless when it comes to child birth.

I went in to labour 11pm, my OH slept through the night, never asked once if I was OK, moaned when I rang maternity for waking him. Spent the entire day moaning he was tired, then moaned during the following night because the blood pressure monitor kept waking him - and he couldn't get much sleep.

33hrs later our son was born by ECS, I had serious complications once he was out and they were ushered out of theatre. When I got back on the ward he left after an hour saying he needed a shower and change of clothes, that was 11am, he came back at 7.45pm after being out for dinner with his parents.

None of this 'you're fantastic, wow look at our son' stuff you hear so many dads say. Never forgiven him.

If he is normally a good and caring man, I would be inclined to try and forgive him. I think birth is actually rather scary and traumatic for men, although I reserve my sympathies for us women. Its a very tricky situation.

I also think its a time when we are so emotional, and vulnerable that many traumas can arise from it.

from reading, I think its ignorance and a lack of emotional intelligence rather than being a complete arsehole

My boss told me he was working on his lap top when his DW was in labour
With DC2, DP went home for a "nap" (I kid you not)
and many men just stand there ineffectually whimpering!

My ExP is an utter cunt, he punched me in the face as I woke him up when I was in labour. When it was time to go to hospital he moaned as his friend has turned up and just lit a joint so he wanted to wait. We got to hospital, DS was born by crash section and while I was still asleep from the general anaesthetic and DS was in SCBU with complications,he fucked off to a house party and re-appeared at 7am with his sister who then got to see and hold DS before I did.

Wow Anita- my ex was usless,,but yrs sounds a right twat & a half!!-we are both emuch better off without them i think! x

anita!!!!! there are no words. onwards and upwards from that hey !

Fuck me, can't believe some of the shit you guys had to put up with. My DP was fantastic during labour, but lack of support during my post partum period nearly did for our relationship. I didn't realise how much it still affected me until recently, as I get closer and closer to
giving birth to DS2 and feel it constantly weighing on my mind.