DH says hurtful things

[expectantmum79]

We've just had a baby and I know I might be slightly more sensitive than usual but he's said awful things:

"I'm stuck with you"
"Who would have kids?"
"I never wanted this baby" (before the birth and definitely not true as he wanted me to come off my pill).
He's also called me a "dirty bitch" and says I'm not clean around the house
He has accused me of cheating more than once (which he later admits he knows is not true)

I'm not 100% innocent but he says vile things, the first 2 are things he's said since we had the baby and it hurts so much.

He then tells me he loves me and I don't know whether to believe him, he's told me on several occasions that I know what I can do if I'm not happy but on occasions when we've rowed and I've been prepared to leave he has talked me out of it. Is there any hope or should I pull the ripcord?

Oh christ, OP, I'm sure someone will be on here very soon with proper advice. In the meantime, can you lock yourself in somewhere with the baby and your phone? Do not pack or leave the house. If he comes anywhere near you call 999. I am so, so sorry you're going through this.

And don't worry about all that nonsense about him having the baby half the time, it's not going to happen. And he can't kick you out of the house.

Here's the number for women's aid, try and reach them: 0808 2000 247

ahh right. I was wondering if he was having a hard tiome afte baby was born... but no, I see he is an arse.

so, start lining up your ducks. and don't leave the house until you have taken advice.

keep breastfeeding. it would be easy to give up now. it is worth it for the baby.

If he threatens you phone police immediately. Keep yourself and DC safe.

Thanks folks, I put the mattress down in baby's room on floor and he came in and said "enjoy the floor tramp" he's called me a slag today too.

I'm devastated that he could talk to me like this.

Have you called Women's Aid?
Can you get to CAB?
Either of them should be able to recommend a local family law solicitor - preferablY who will give a free half hour consultation.

Meanwhile, can you photocopy financial documents; his payslips, bank statements, etc

Good luck

Thanks, I'm exhausted and baby is fast asleep but I keep running it over and over.

How are you today, OP? Can you write all of this down with dates and times etc. and get yourself to CAB for some legal advice? If you can't get through to Women's Aid on the phone, try emailing them: [email protected]
This has ecalated into full-blown emotional abuse, imo. Revolting and terrifying behaviour.

Thank you for thinking of me Uglyswan. Today is lots brighter. I do need to get my ducks in order but it may be a while in the planning. Meanwhile, DP is sweetness and light today but I can't forget his behaviour last night.x

Please do not give up on your plan to escape OP, make sure all is ready for the next incident and then GO!

You will have to be really strong but it's so worth the rocky ride! You will see that once you are out the other side!

Yes I do know! x

He is showing his true colours whilst you are vulnerable. Contact womens aid ASAP. Tell your hv what is going on. Get it on record just in case you need urgent help or access to legal aid.

You need to get out.

The words he chooses to use are to upset you. Expect: slag, whore, dirty, bitch, bad mother. In fact if he doesn't use all of them over the next few weeks I will be surprised, his likely behaviour is very predictable. But he is likely to get nastier too. Please get this behaviour on record. He is emotionally abusive. You don't deserve this and your dc don't deserve their wonderful mum to be subjected to this arseholes nastiness.

Womens aid tomorrow. Hv record. Gp record. Stay safe and don't believe any of the shite that comes out of his mouth.