What do I do?

[SuckitupButtercup]

I posted last night in chat, don't know how to link to thread but it's 'this is wrong'.

DH tried to force himself on me last night in such a degrading way. I am ill, had whisky to help me sleep & out Dd (2) sleeps in our room (in her own bed). I'm in shock that he could treat me like this & I can't see how I can trust him again to get past this, we only recently got married.

I'm upset and I don't want to break the family up. I don't think I could cope with being a lone parent of two children & working full time. But I also can't see how I can trust him again. I'm gutted.

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for, i really don't know what to do.

I saw your other thread.

For now, you need to make sure he is out of the house for a time, until you can decide whether to report it as an assault, which it is - or not.

And decide what to do next.

Remember - it wouldn't be you breaking the family up...by reacting to what he did. It would be him breaking the family up by assaulting you.

OP - I too saw your other thread.

Last night your "DH" sexually assaulted you and, I believe from what you posted, that he filmed the event for his own sexual gratification.

Nobody on MN can tell you what you should do - we can only advise.

If I were you I'd have to accept that there was no way back from such a vile event.

Was it the first time???? Actually that's a rhetorical question as you'll probably never know.

What he did has bad enough, how would you feel if DD had awoken to witness the event???

"DH" needs to stay away from the home now and I would notify the police - put yourself in this situation if it was happening 20 years in the future and the victim was DD with her hubby. Would you want her to accept such a violation?

I'm sorry for you but ask yourself - is it worth saving a relationship where a man has so little respect and regard for his wife he'd choose to sexually assault her in her sleep (and possibly film it).

Sorry but I cant see any way back from this.

Well if you want to hold the family together and stay with a rapist then go ahead.
But you need to think about yourself and your DC right now.
This man is dangerous. Yes DANGEROUS.
You need to report him to the police for what he did.
Get it on file and get him out of your house right now.
Confide in a friend or relative.
You do NOT have to keep his dirty secret.
It's not a surprise it's happened just after you are married.
He's an abuser, pure and simple.
You've found out early on so you don't need to waste half your life being abused.
Get out now.
Not one person on here will tell you to stay with this dangerous, abusive man.
Please please call Womens Aid and get some support from them.
If you need to talk about his then Rape Crisis are a good place to start.
Do not keep yourself in this situation.
None of us think we will cope on our own with kids. But we do. Thousands probably millions do this on a daily basis.
You will cope and you will far happier knowing your DC are away from this rapist!
Sorry I'm being harsh but you need to face up to this.

Call the cops. Dump him. Move on. If not for you than for your kids.

original post here

I hate to say it OP, but if you stay, this will not be an isolated incident. Kick him out now, and its a one off. Let him stay and I can promise you the behaviour will get worse.

I found out via a photo on my Ex's phone that he had come on my face whilst I was asleep He did it more than once!

We've taken a closer look into things, and we've noticed a few discrepancies that we're going to take up with the OP off boards, so we're going to suspend this thread while we get things straightened out.