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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I know what you re going to say but I need to hear it to be sure

43 replies

Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 13:52

Ok just for reference because I've been single a long time and need to know I'm not looking for a reason to ditch this guy before it's even come to anything...

I've met a guy online. Not met in person but was planning to. I wanted to just talk for a few weeks first.

Ok so he seemed nice, normal you know no weird messages, no indecent photos etc. ie not weird.

Only he other day he said that he has issues with jealously and that he has ended all his relationships recently due to this. Reason being his long term partner cheated on him with a close friend.

I was a bit Shock that all his relationships had ended because if this but I thought you know I don't know how that would feel so didn't say anything more.

This week I mentioned I'm going to see a film that I've been waiting on coming out and am a bit excited about (I'm boring like that) . He just asked who with.
I said my friend (make). Then he texted that it "sounds like a date" to him.

I'm weirded out. I've not even met this guy and he's asking about my make friends like that ? It's a huge red flag isn't it ?

I said that it wasn't a date and he said fine I dont want to row over it !!

Wtf ??

Row over it ? I need to delete and block don't i ?

Or am I being a suspicious cow ?

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 04/02/2015 13:55

Delete and block, yes.

You haven't even met face to face and already he's questioning your having male friends.
And, btw, his warning you of his jealousy is so that he can say "I told you so, you knew what you were getting into" down the line.

Delete and block.

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 13:55

I knew it. For gods sake where are all the nice normal guys ?

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 04/02/2015 13:57

I think it sounds like this guy is not yet ready to be in another relationship. Maybe you could give him a chance in a few months/a year when he has put things behind him a bit more.

He must have felt incredibly betrayed to have not only his partner but also his friend go behind his back. It's going to take anyone a while to get over that. It doesn't mean you need to be his practise run.

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 13:58

Well I thought that but he said it was a while ago...
He's been in relationships since then. That he ended. Apparently.

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 04/02/2015 13:59

They are rare.
But that doesn't mean you should settle for the inadequate ones.

TheJiminyConjecture · 04/02/2015 13:59

Delete, block and raise a glass to the fact you didn't get to know him any further. Lucky escape!

Justmuddlingalong · 04/02/2015 14:00

His true colours are starting to show. Don't get involved any further. Delete and block. There are nice guys out there, but the more time you waste on dumplings like him, the less time you've got to meet them. Good luck.

Thebluedog · 04/02/2015 14:01

Run for the hills

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:03

In a way I'm glad you agree with me. I feel a bit bad for not giving the guy a chance but god I'm not willing to risk....well me.

I sometimes wonder if I'm single because I avoid people like this or if I avoid the decent ones unknowingly too.
Or if I'm too picky. Who knows.

Anyway I won't be meeting up with this one. Shame they initially sound so nice don't they ?

OP posts:
AliceinWinterWonderland · 04/02/2015 14:03

Yep. He's told you who he is. Really. Delete and block.

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:04

Old MN saying. If they tell you who they are listen.

I am listening. Thank god for mn. Really. I'm not a parent but you ladies all seem to know your shit. Grin

OP posts:
imjustahead · 04/02/2015 14:05

delete and block

glasgowlass · 04/02/2015 14:08

Definitely look at this as a very lucky escape!
Delete, block & don't look back!

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:12
OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 04/02/2015 14:13

Delete, block and run.

He needs counselling if it has affected all his relationships since.

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:17

It was honestly a wee bit creepy they way he just latched on to the fact my friend is in fact a bloke.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 04/02/2015 14:17

Just a thought but is your male friend single......? He must be decent and normal otherwise he would be your friend would he?! Wink

Bogeyface · 04/02/2015 14:18

wouldnt be..

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:20

Actually he is single. I'd love to find him a girlfriend. He's not my type sadly though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:20
Smile
OP posts:
AliceinWinterWonderland · 04/02/2015 14:24

**
**
**

Why am I now hearing "These boots are made for walkin' .... " Grin

Old age, I suppose.

Original poster
Notrevealingmyidentity · 04/02/2015 14:25

Oooh I like that song ! I'm only 26 too.

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 04/02/2015 14:34

Great call. Well done you for spotting a nightmare in waiting!

ouryve · 04/02/2015 14:37

Run, run, as fast as you can!

BadgersRetreat · 04/02/2015 14:37

well done OP - I dated a jealous man when I was young and it was a fucking nightmare.

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