Loud Sex...Do you care what the neighbours think?

[DidThatSeriouslyJustHappen]

So me and my gf (yes, same sex relationship, just to avoid any confusion) live in a semi-detached house and the walls apparently are really really thin. Our last house was a semi, but the walls seemed much thicker, so we never had to worry about being quiet when we were getting intimate (when my dd was away anyway)

In this house, I can hear pretty much every conversation our neighbour is having, so there's absolutely no reason it isn't the same for her.

Now, in the thrills of passion, the last thing you want to be worrying about is keeping down the noise, but then when you have kids, you get used to it I suppose. This house has 3 floors though and my dd is on a separate floor to us, so that side of things isn't really a problem. So we should be free to just let go and be free to be fairly loud (to an extent obviously), but as I say, not with these seemingly, paper thin walls

My dp and I have different ideas of keeping it down. Well, basically she just doesn't and I try to, because I know the neighbour must hear everything I see her every morning when I take my dd to school, (our dc's don't go to the same school though) whereas my dp never has to see her at all, so she really doesn't feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong, I like hearing how much my dp is enjoying it, but I really feel like I might need to say something.......again. I already did once before, but I don't think she realises how embarrassed I am. Should I be?

So what would you do? Should I ask her again? Would that be really offensive or upsetting?

I'm just getting more and more embarrassed every time I see our neighbour and sometimes during sex, I can't let go and relax, because I know that she can hear everything! I don't want it to turn into a thing iyswim, but I don't want to upset my dp either.

Advice please

Pomp and Circumstance played at maximum volume to drown out your partners cries of passion?

Neighbour will just think you are keen classical music fans.

Can you try and work out which floor your neighbours bedroom is on and then switch yours around so you're on a different floor to her?

I think you should put music on.
Noone wants to have to dampen their passion, and if youre naturally loud in that respect, its not easy to be quiet.

Ive heard my neighbours on both sides having sex on occasion, so it doesnt bother me if they hear us occasionally. Its normal, but i do generally put music on for a bit of privacy.

Hahaha! Fontella, oh no! That will inevitably pop into my head next time we're together! Unfortunate. I see where you're going though. Maybe something less dramatic

I'm feeling a bit wistful rememember the days of sex to music at my boyfriend's house! I miss a 'soundtrack!'

Stick soundproofing pannels on your wall.

Dean, well actually I tried to do that already, but I think she moves around I thought she initially was on the top floor, same as my dd, but then a couple of weeks a go when me and my dp were having sex, she started suggestively coughing (I suspect) and she might as well have been in the same room! My dp just thought it was funny and carried on at the same volume, whereas I took it down a notch....or 5!

I too ould go for soundproofing or as others have suggested music.
I know its been done to death but recommend Ravels Bolero

Kato, "sountrack" My first bf used to always put something on. Once he even put on Barry White!! I was young and obviously inexperienced, so I just assumed that this was the done thing. Bless him though. I think he was just trying to be romantic.

Thanks for that, flat.

Clearly doesn't put my neighbour off her stride, just wish she didn't go for it in the wee small hours and wake me up! 2/3/4am is for sleep!!

more, would Kings Of Leon, Sex On Fire be too obvious? I do love that song though.

My dp just thought it was funny and carried on at the same volume,

Nice.

Suppose you could view it as performance art.

I had to cough loudly the other evening to cover up the noise of my neighbours shagging. I didn't want to have to explain to ds. Luckily it doesn't seem to last long usually but they do it quite often!

My DP is in a house share, his housemate who's in the bedroom next door said to him the other day "SillyPops is nice, she's very prim and proper (I'm southern, they are northern)...except in the bedroom " I was mortified!! Apparently DP held a straight face and just said "yes, she's a good girl" and left it at that. Awkward central!

SillyPops, haha oh no! Have you seen that housemate since?

Your DP sounds like a nightmare neighbour, selfish and inconsiderate.

No, not yet! Looking forward to that one!

MerdeAlor, well it's inconsiderate when someone has made it clear, yes. She is the most selflLESS and considerate person I have ever met. This actually goes against her character completely. Tbh though, I'm not sure she's aware just how loud she gets.

SillyPops, well good luck!

Depends...

normal sex noises, nope, don't care who hears me and I don't mind hearing other people. Adults have sex. It's nice they enjoy it.

But then there are 'performers' who have to scream the place down. It always strikes me as pretty phoney and attention seeking.

I used to have neighbours who were very loud during sex. It upset my dc, woke all of us up and was deeply unpleasant to listen to. I told myself there was no way they had any idea we could hear it. If I'd known they were finding my discomfort amusing, I'd have been pretty upset. A degree of noise is to be expected sometimes. At other times, you remember that you share this world with other people and respond accordingly. If they could have kept it down some of the time, particularly between 1am and 5am, I would have been grateful. As it was, DH had a word and they moved!

trying, my neighbours were proper performers. Having to listen to a woman scream "shove your big cock right there and fuck me sideways" and similar at 3am is above and beyond normal sex noise. Particularly when I had a 4yo and a newborn. I am SO glad they've gone. Our new neighbours are lovely. He wears fetching bobble hats, she has a nice dog and I hear them watching football sometimes. Bliss.

I agree with a pp. it's not about being embarrassed necessarily, it's about causing a nuisance with noise. Our neighbour had a spell of having very, very loud sex. At 2 in the morning. And then again at 4am. And then Sometimes again at 6am. Which isn't funny if it actually wakes you up from sleep and you've got a little baby who's also doing a really good job of waking you up. So I don't find it funny - I find it selfish. In the same way that playing loud music is selfish if you know your neighbours can hear. Sorry OP.

There is something spectacularly naff about the need to scream the house down when you orgasm and has a certain 'look at me' element to it when its done knowing you have an unwitting audience. Your DP just sounds a bit selfish and immature to be honest.

Is the noise she makes a natural noise of pleasure that she cant control due to you being so capable of pressing the right buttons? Or, is it forced/put on as she gets a little carried away & thinks shes shooting a porno?