Same script, OW and heart broken hand hold, shoulder and advice needed :(

[cindersinsuburbia]

Well I ever thought I'd post this.

My H told me today that he was leaving me ands our 2 DC. Oh yeah and that he was having (a lot) of sex with a mum at the kids school who I know quite well.

He of course did not want to tell the kids, so I did, for their sakes and then he got rather pissed off when I didn't think him staying the dining room whilst still shagging another women was a good idea :-/ ( we rent and I pay.

So I feel bereft the kids are destroyed but I know I don't him back, he doesn't want me anyway, more that he has nowhere to go.

Sooooo any advise? I'm going to ask my doctor for a sick note for a couple of weeks, to sort things out and speak with the school but that's all my head as space for

He's sticking to the script - make her mad and bad. It's his only defence for being a nuct and he needs to make himself feel better.

FWIW the OW prob doesn't want a guy who doesn't work, has kids he can't support, no phone (can't support that either apparently) and going through a split, living with her. If she is on benefits she will loose them probably and if not she will resent him sitting on his arse all day possibly shagging another mum at the school gate.

Give it a week or two, month at the max, and she'll have binned him too.

Keep strong. The familiar patterns fade with time. His games will increase as he hopes to tug your heart strings and make you unravel (so he can call you mad - make out it was his choice/why he left you). SO - stay calm, collected and try to minimise contact.

Good luck!

Thanks for all the support so far your words have kept my sanity today has been better, took a sleeping tablet and woke up refreshed.

Sorted the tax credits and term time childcare starts next week so no more dreaded school run anxieties and I start back to work the week after, so looking forward to that

Meeting with my landlord next week to get the single tenancy so that will be a weight off my mind

H is still on my mind, but the anxieties are getting less and less, still expect wobbles though

Kids are doing ok and off to grannies with H, I'm off to get ready soon and have a and enjoy being out and about

I made it almost a week, with my dignity in tact, my head up and my kids are happy - I am really proud of myself mega boast, but I think I can get away with it!

Good for you, OP. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

Mega Boast Cinders! How was your evening out?
A week! Only a week and you have sorted out all the finances/papers/child-minding! You are a super-woman! And hey it is OK to feel engulfed in waves of pain every so often. We must just pray and fight so that these waves will attack us less and less often and they will vanish more and more quickly! Oh yeah you can walk tall through what life (this dear life as the author Alice Munroe, Nobel Prize Winner of 2013, says) threw on your way! Kisses and (unfortunately only virtual) Hugs (they say that 10 hugs a day can boast your happiness and your sanity- so go and hug them little ones!) Have a nice week end!

Hello Cinders! Ready to go back to work? How was your week end? Hugs and kisses

Hi Ma Thanks for the message, the weekend was amazing! grin just what I needed I think, reminded me how much I had given up over the years.

I'm not back to work until Monday, but much more productive this week... the tears are subsiding, just feel that I have been marooned but I know things can only get better you know?... this is my second chance.

I worried a bit - but I should have trusted your fighting spirit! I am pleased that 'Everything that kills you, makes you feel alive'. I agree with you , affair-related heartbreak gives us a second chance- it is like a second adolescence - we question everything, do not trust the adults around us to address our needs, try new stuff etc of course like teens we are moody- need to sleep a lot etc

I am happy for you that you cry and sing at the same time 'we shall overcome'. Good Luck and big Hugs!