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Original poster

he's getting married...and I feel sad

26 replies

katierocket · 20/04/2004 18:02

heard from ex boyfriend today and he's getting married. It's so stupid but I feel really sad about it. Not devasted but kind of 'what could have been' kind of way.

anyone else still hold a small candle for an ex?

OP posts:
Lisa78 · 20/04/2004 18:08

not really katierocket, but I have felt like you feel - I was sort of shocked, as if an exes life should stay in suspended animation and not move on Like, how dare he get over me after only 10 years!!!

SoupDragon · 20/04/2004 18:10

Funnily enough, I spent yesterday tracing the guy I used to fancy in my A level maths class with the help of friends reunited. I never actually went out with him but was a bit disappointed to find he was married with a small baby. Sigh.

Lisa78 · 20/04/2004 18:13

ahh Soupy, theres always a boy from school....

SoupDragon · 20/04/2004 18:15

But how dare he be happily married?? I am but that's no reason for him to be is it? Ho hum.

fairyfly · 20/04/2004 18:21

I hold a small candle for an x. Followed with a can of petrol.

Beetroot · 20/04/2004 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

littlemissbossy · 20/04/2004 18:31

Soup dragon - you've just made me laugh I felt exactly the same having found an ex on friends reunited - he was "happily married" when I so desperately wanted him to be "divorced, lonely and will never, ever find another woman quite like my wonderful ex, littlemissbossy"

SoupDragon · 20/04/2004 18:33

At least he was an X! I never even got that far...

SoupDragon · 20/04/2004 18:33

Actually, I'm now worried his wife is on MN. Best I don't say too much. Ahem.

Tinker · 20/04/2004 18:42

Oh, yes katie, know that feeling - even though I finished it. Except current, he was my 'best boyfriend'. Actually did ask after him via FR a few years ago.

2babies · 20/04/2004 18:47

I'm the same, Katierocket. I can certainly relate. I just try not to think about it. Otherwise, it eats me up. Fairyfly- ROFL!

motherinferior · 20/04/2004 18:53

Oh I soooo understand. An ex whom I was (WAS) madly in love with emailed me recently to say he'd just got married to - get this - the girlfriend he'd gone out with BEFORE me. Guess just how 'what could have been' I felt about it, even though I know, really, that he would not be right for me now?

Oh, and however hard I try,I STILL can't track down the boy from school who broke my heart when I was 15. I regularly log onto FR and can't find him, he's got quite a common name so I can't google for him, the people I know are in touch with him won't tell me however many times I reassure them I'm not a bunny boiler...

Another ex is now going out with a rather glamorous friend of mine, as well.

fisil · 20/04/2004 18:56

OMG, this happened to me yesterday. I spent 2 years madly in love with someone at university. We were best friends and he knew how I felt - but said it was not to be. And he e-mailed me yesterday, out of the blue, to say he's getting married. Maybe the same guy ... no, I don't think he has any exes.

Original poster
katierocket · 20/04/2004 19:15

the thing is that I finished it and it probably never would have worked but there was so much that was lovely about him. I think a lot of our problems stemmed from my problems IFYKWIMsigh{}

mi - on tracking down the boy that broke your heart at school when you were 15 - I went to school reunion about 3 years ago and my first major love was there (14-16, I adored him, he acknowledged my existence every so often).
There I was thinking "ha, ha, ha, I'll show him, he'll be flinging himself at me" and...he..err..didn't. damn

OP posts:
Tinker · 20/04/2004 19:23

I emailed the brother of my ex who told me that they (the family) had been looking at photos of me recently - it's weird to think that others are thinking wistfully of you also.

Original poster
katierocket · 20/04/2004 22:22

I'm with soupy though - it's very inconsiderate of him to just go and get himself a happy life.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 21/04/2004 13:29

Totally agree. The very least he should do is pine, although obviously not in a stalker-ish sort of way.

hatter · 21/04/2004 14:45

Motherinferior - I regularly look at Friends Reunited for the boy that broke my heart when I was 17, and get pathetically excited when I hear tit-bits of info about him along the grape-vine. I just keep telling myself that it's a good job he's not on FR - my heart races (still) at the thought of him and I don't know if I could stop myself from emailing him. I do know it would be a terrible idea. Sigh. I also expect I created a fantasy version, loosely modelled on Heathcliffe I seem to remember (English Lit A level has a lot to answer for) sigh sigh

Original poster
katierocket · 21/04/2004 14:50

ah, the fantastic Wurthering Heights.
the closest I got to the particular fantasty was pining after a 14 year old nicknamed 'Yorkshire' because, guess what, he was from Yorkshire! He wasn't, by the way, anything like Heathcliffe mores the pity.

OP posts:
tallulah · 21/04/2004 18:08

katierocket, wih you there:0

Have kept in touch with 1 ex & he's recently moved in with someone- seems really odd. Desperate to find 2 others- been doing the FR thing... no good can come of it...

Did meet up with an ex from school at a reunion. Last time we'd met (aged 16) there were sparks, but pleased to report that there was nothing at all. Just like meeting a stranger. We politely discussed children, jobs & garden fencing!

deegward · 21/04/2004 18:11

My x is my ds1 godfather - talk about keeping in touch! His girlfriends never like me, and with this one its reciprocated! I think I will hit the largest bar of chocolate the day he tells me he's getting married. He's 38 and still single, so that day will come soon

marthamoo · 21/04/2004 20:20

Oh I know that feeling!

I looked up an ex, THE ex, you know, the one you never quite got over, on friendsreunited a couple of years ago. He's married now with two children and I felt such a pang when I read that. I mean, I'm married with two children but somehow I hoped he was...oh I don't know... single, desperately miserable and with no-one to love him?

The pang, however, was nothing compared to the full body shock when I read his last sentence - that he had just moved to the town where I live! (The last I had heard he was in Japan, which was just about far enough away for my liking). I spent the following six months expecting to bump into him round every corner. It hasn't happened yet though.....

wilbur · 21/04/2004 20:32

deegward - if you even feel able to offer your lovely ex up for marriage and babies, I have some really terrific girlsfriends who would be perfect for him (I imagine...) 38 and not snapped up! That makes him a dream come true round these parts.

Original poster
katierocket · 22/04/2004 08:32

yeh deegward - you could raffle him on mumsnet.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 22/04/2004 08:43

Do you think I should make another trawl to find out about the Bloke From School? He got married when we were all at university, I seem to remember. And I do know how I can track down someone else who was, at least for a while, in touch with him. It honestly is just curiosity - but as I know about everyone else I've ever gone out with (dp frequently grumbles that whenever we have a party it's attended by a selection of my exes) I would so like to know....

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