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Original poster

Worried about my son

72 replies

Blossomflowers · 17/01/2015 17:10

#This not really a relationship issue but this thread gets lots of traffic and need some urgent advice..
So just found a letter adressed to my son that has been hand delivered.
" X stay out of my field. Anything else gets stolen or damaged, Ill be up your house and cripple you for life you pathetic piece of shit. Merry Xmas you fucking little cunt"
I feel sick my son is 14, my boy is good and did admit to going to this mans field ( he is in his 40's) in the summer as he was growing canabis and did admit to pinching a bit but said he had not been near there since. I don't know what do. Have not shown my son the letter

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/01/2015 15:41

I know someone who was growing it in his garden. Not sure how successful it was, but he was definitely growing it.

Quitethewoodsman · 18/01/2015 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VanitasVanitatum · 18/01/2015 15:53

Recognising what the son did wrong does not put Cabrinha on the side of the grower! Ridiculous statement. The growers actions are of course a thousand times worse than OPs DS's, she did not say otherwise.

OP doesn't in fairness say that her son used the drugs he stole however.

OP I would talk to your son and then go straight to the police with that letter.

Roussette · 18/01/2015 15:59

I haven't a clue Imperial! I just thought it had to have huge heat lights and the room it was grown in had have carpet up the walls to keep the heat in or whatever, but I watch too many police dramas!

RandomNPC · 18/01/2015 16:00

You often hear about the odd joker planting it in plant pots outside police stations, so it has been known in the UK.

NeedABumChange · 18/01/2015 17:25

There was a massive plant found in some pensioners garden a couple of years back, pretty sure they were somewhere in the Home Counties. Claimed they had no idea what it was Hmm

Definitely report the drug growing to the police, maybe talk to the other boy with the letter and show them both. Chances are he's sent a fair few.

Also need to talk to your child about stealing and drugs.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 19/01/2015 09:58

Thanks for your comments, to address a few, firstly my son is not aware of the letter as I found it and kept it from him. The cannabis is I believe being grown in heated tunnels, I have absolutely no idea how this man knows where we live but it makes me very nervous.
DS has admitted to trying cannabis and admitted to pinching a bit in the Summer and I told him to stay away and had a very big talk on the implications of drug taking, he is adament he has not been near there again. He is also scared of this man.
It worries me that this man was prepared to put this in writing seems very odd.
This is a small village and I worry about police protection if we report.

OP posts:
kaykayred · 19/01/2015 10:08

Blossom

I can understand that through wanting to protect your son from this hideous man, you might wash over what he himself has done. But I really do hope that you read him the riot act. He trespassed on someone else's land. He stole someone's stuff. He took drugs for fucks sake, and he's only 14!!!!

That's all really shitty behaviour.

Of course, the farmer is a complete nut job. You definitely need to be reporting this to the police. They take stuff like this pretty seriously. Ask your son to be honest about how much this guy is growing. I don't believe for a second that your son hasn't been back on many occasions, whether or not he's been taking stuff each time. Thing is, if he is only growing one small tunnels worth, then it's probably for personal use, and the police would need to focus more on the threat of bodily harm than the drugs. If he is growing a lot, then he is clearly part of a wider chain, and the police would be VERRRRRRRRY interested in that, and therefore you wouldn't need to focus so much on the threat aspect.

You say someone else's child also got a similar letter?

To be perfectly honest with you, I would go to the police station together with this other family and report what has happened, and I would do it today.

Farmers often have guns, and something like this would get his gun license revoked, not to mention his guns confiscated quicker than you can say "bugger that". If you are worried about consequences to your child then speak to the police about it.

This guy is clearly fucking deranged.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2015 10:18

"I worry about police protection if we report"

If you are worried about reprisals, make that clear from the outset. If you do report, they are not going to scream round with the blue and twos, waving the letter and blabbing your name. If this person is suspected locally of being a criminal he is likely to already be on their radar. Your letter would probably form part of a bigger case or be used as 'reasonable grounds' to search the premises... something like that.

If everyone locally says nothing, however, nothing will happen. The man threatening your child wins.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 19/01/2015 10:24

Kay This man is clearly deranged as you say, he is not a farmer but some bloke that has turned up and living in a caravan, not even sure he is there legally, highly unlikely. Of course my son is wrong to steal. I really do not know what to do for the best

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2015 11:33

Please report it to the police. If he's just turned up he needs to be moved on sharpish. He may be able to bully children but don't let him bully you as well.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 19/01/2015 13:24

A big part of me agrees with you cog but the police cannot be around 24 7 and clearly we are talking about crazy nasty individual who thinks himself above the law. My son would need to walk past this man place to reach the village, too bloody close for comfort.

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 19/01/2015 13:47

OP are you 100% sure that the letter is from who you think it is?
Could it be someone else who knows your son, knows what he did and is a form of bullying?

I'm no super sleuth but find it hard to reconcile a man knowing your address - without your son having told him it- and having the gumption to hand deliver a letter.

I also find it puzzling that the letter has arrived 6 months after the event- unless of course you have only found it and it arrived months ago. And a letter could incriminate him through fingerprints/ DNA etc.

My feelings on this are:
-the letter is not from the man at all
-your son is telling lies and goes there regularly and is known to him
-unless the letter included your son's name ( again- how would this guy know it unless your son had told him?) it could be a letter meant for someone else and posted to the wrong house.

-Or- your post is a wind up and you have other reasons for posting this.Hmm

If it is genuine the police would have a good idea of how to deal with it- they are not going to go in and say who told them. They should know about the illegal weed anyway being grown there. You need to have a conversation with them and take it from there- but first you need to tell your son about the letter and give him the opportunity to confess if there is more to it than he's told you.

pinkyredrose · 19/01/2015 13:51

I'd be more worried about my kid thieving drugs tbh. How did he know there was cannabis there?

SunnyBaudelaire · 19/01/2015 13:54

Threatening behaviour is a criminal offence and so is growing cannabis, as I am sure plenty of others have said.
I would be onto the police like a shot.

"It's impossible to grow cannabis in a field"
no it is not, I know somebody round here who does it successfully.

SunnyBaudelaire · 19/01/2015 13:54

my son told me all about it after he and his mate robbed the field....

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 19/01/2015 14:06

pink I can assure this is not a wind up and I think you are making a lot of assumptions. The letter was addressed to my son by name, this is a very small village and would be very easy to find out where someone lived. My son admitted nicking some cannabis in the summer and I believe him, he was wrong and knows it. I am quite sure most of the local teenagers know this man is growing. Stealing is wrong of course but sending violent sick letters to children is chilling.

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 19/01/2015 17:24

Blossom I'm not making assumptions. I am asking questions that you might think about to try to help you get to the bottom of this odd situation.

If you live in a small village and you think everyone knows about this man then that makes it much safer to contact the police because the man won't easily guess who has grassed, will he? I still don't know how he knows the name of your son unless your son told him, or other people did- in which case the man must be on 'friendly' terms with other children or other villagers.

You have 2 choices- tell the police or do nothing. There is no middle way unless of course you go and see this man yourself and ask what he was thinking of sending that letter to your son.

Does your son have a father around who could perhaps talk to the man?

RandomNPC · 19/01/2015 17:39

There is an alternative. Tell Crimestoppers anonymously about him growing the weed. Don't bring the letter into it.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 19/01/2015 17:53

pink Living in a village everyone knows everyone. Yes have told DS dad and think he wants to go and talk to him. Something needs to be done though for sure. Crimestoppers might be the way. But I am more worried about the letter then the dope, if he is not growing much ( have no idea) he will only get a slap on the wrist. I really don't want to tell my son about the letter as it is really upsetting.

OP posts:
pinkfrocks · 19/01/2015 17:57

well if everyone knows everyone he won't know who has told the police will he because all the village must know what he's up to! I live in a small village (I don't know the name of every 14 yr old lad) but if someone was growing dope in a field then everyone would know about it.

You don't seem to want to talk to your son. As many of us have said here, it's odd that the letter has come 6 months after the event. Why do you think that could be?

SunnyBaudelaire · 19/01/2015 17:59

possibly because he has been doing it again?
Blossom I seriously doubt the whole village knows what this man is doing, as someone would have dobbed him in by now.
The only person that I know of that gets away with it round here is someone who lives miles up a lane that doesnt even appear to be a road.
And he does not deal or supply local dealers.
And I do not even know about it!! not officially that is.
Look your son might be in deep shit with this guy. Phone crimestoppers, you do not have to leave your details.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 19/01/2015 18:05

The man hangs around the pub so do most of the 14 year olds (outside of course) so assume that is how he knows my sons name. I have spoken to my son about drugs and stealing, just not told him about the letter yet. I am kind of thinking that many of the kids have been helping themselves to his stuff since the summer he may have sent several letters out for all I know, I know one more for def.

OP posts:
RandomNPC · 19/01/2015 18:06

If you deal through Crimestoppers, he'll get done for growing weed. The letter will not be dealt with, but there maybe plenty of people who know about his horticultural activities; the bloke will not know it's you.
Or... You can go to the police about the weed and the letter: he might well be done for both, but there is the potential risk he will know who has informed on him.

pinkfrocks · 19/01/2015 18:08

I'd not allow my 14 yr old to hang around outside a pub anyway. You can't possibly account for his actions if he's doing that.

If you know 1 other person has had a letter how do you know? From the parent? If so then you need to join forces and talk to the police.

You also need to talk to your son. Doing the 'drugs talk' does not mean he is not visiting this man and stealing dope. You appear to be too trusting but the evidence ( the letter) says otherwise.