Can you tell me about meeting 'the one' please...

[MikeTheShite]

How did you know? When did you know?

because I think I'm being totally naive and ridiculous

It can only ever be a personal judgement based on your own values and standards. It's not going to be a completely rational decision so try your best to inject a little reality in with the emotion. It's always a risk, but that's life. The idea that there is just 'one' is probably inaccurate given the size of the population vs the number of people we're ever likely to meet. ... but that's another debate. :)

Do they make you happy just by being themselves? Do you want similar things out of life? Would your life be less if they weren't in it? Do they feel the same way about you?

It's very strange this feeling, I've never felt or experienced anything like it.
We've met like 6 times, only had a hug but I really cannot imagine my life without him in it.
It's like he fits.

I sound ridiculous and it feels totally bizarre!

So is he single? and are you? If so good luck and enjoy, if not then whoa!

There's no such thing.

We are both single, and we are dating but taking it slow.

I've been so badly hurt by my ex dumping me when pregnant that it makes this even more strange.

Never ever thought this would happen, never thought I'd meet someone

I think it's different for everyone.

For me 'the one' was a guy who i just knew as soon as i saw him, that he was for me, like he was my other half/soulmate etc. Unfortunately it didn't work out, maybe it wasn't meant to be in this lifetime, who knows?! I am hopeful that there is another guy out there for me!

I think that you know within a few dates, if someone is right for you. The 'click' as some call it! Some see it straight away (love at first sight) for others it takes a while.

Just go with the flow! Good luck! :)

Me and my DH's paths crossed a few times through work but we had never properly spoken.
We had a mutual friend through work who had a birthday party, as soon as my DH walked in and our eyes met I knew he was someone who would be important to me, whether as a friend or more. I am/ was cynical about love at first sight.
I can't really explain the feeling but I have never experienced it before or since my DH claims likewise but he is an old romantic
Our first few dates were a bit of a disaster and I almost finished with him at one point but the thought of that initial feeling made me give him another chance.
I am very glad I did! Our 10 year anniversary is next month

A word of caution: each man I had that reaction with, has closely resembled one of my parents. That jolt of recognition that society has taught us to see as "love at first sight" may well just be subconscious echo of your first imprint of love and attachment as a baby.

Hence the feeling that someone "fits". All well and good if you had a healthy relationship with your parents... And if not, your subconscious might just be pushing you to repeat past mistakes, and to see it as "love".

So keep dating, but use it to find out what manner of a person he is. Not just to experience the flutters.

When I met my DP in person after chatting online for a few weeks it was a lovely feeling of coming home.
We fit together wonderfully. We are very alike, share many of the same strengths and faults and totally get each other and there is a trust and understanding between us that makes it the most relaxed relationship I have ever experienced.
I have had more exciting relationships with more sexual tension but they were not good for me. I know this is making both of us happier better people and that it will last.
Is he "the one"? No of course not. There could be many men who would suit me.
Have you seen He puts it brilliantly!

I hVe a great relationship with my folks

It's exactly as you describe- it's like coming home

Goats is SO right, that way co-dependency lies. And nasty re-enactments of intergenerational dysfunctions.

No such thing as "the one", dont believe it. Best case scenario you both love/respect/lust after each other. You are comfortable yogether. You trust each other. No disloyalty or red flags such as unremitting chasing and declaring "you are the one" after 3 weeks! Like my dh. Should have run a mile but was on rebound and not thinking straight...

Seems to be a good start and it's always good when you click with someone. Just exercise caution, have your eyes wide open at all times and ask plenty of questions rather than taking too much on face value.

I definitely have Cognito, I think because I've been hurt and have very little trust anymore I'm definitely feeling sceptical and hence my posting

Sceptical is good. :) Sceptical is what stops fools rushing in where angels fear to tread.

I knew there was 'something' not long after meeting DH, but we met as friends and were friends for a long time. Both were seeing other people. After those relationships ended, one night we got together, and it was quite soon after that, maybe a few weeks, that I felt the strangest feeling, something I hadn't felt before. A kind of 'knowing' I guess, though I am not a believer in 'the one' at all. But there it was/is.

What I think is absolutely key is that DH felt exactly the same. He'd felt the earlier 'something' and he felt the 'big something'. I personally don't think it can ever be a one way feeling, when that happens.

I'm also not even sure that it's not just a weird hormone thing, or a chance of circumstance. I don't know if everyone gets it, and I don't think that not getting it means something isn't right. In hindsight I feel lucky that we turned out as well matched as we are, because I definitely got caught up in the 'special feeling' and paid very little attention to practical stuff at the time!

Looking back, when I met my DP "something" clicked/fell into place but I knew even then that he was going to be part of my life in some way.

I was actually with someone else at the time and caught up in that appalling relationship. When that went tits up DP was there with other friends to hold my hand.

It was about 18 months later before a drunken conversation turned into an amazing adventure. He is without a doubt my best friend, we get on brilliant. We love and respect each other and support each other thought thick and thin. We are very lucky to have found each other and we very much appreciate that we did.

After six meetings you don't even know who this person is yet. I certainly wouldn't be entertaining any ideas of life long partnership just yet.

With my DP I knew he was amazing after spending a week with him and seeing him everyday of that week. But I didn't think "oh yes, he is the one for me" until about 18 months later.

I know that; I just didn't know how to word my title. I just feel very strange it's like paper said something just clicked

Mike I had love at first sight with my exh, didn't know if I would see him again, then he started working with me. I think its a mixture of things, chemical attraction, subconsciously we have a mental type, present circumstances. I don't believe in movie type love, my exh never felt or loved me with the same intensity I loved him. I was blind for years and put him on a pedestal and when I eventually realized, I was heart broken. Had two wonderful dc from the LTR, but looking back it was an illusion, I needs to be loved and he fancied me. It wasn't his fault, I never wanted to see anything but my love for him and I know I will never feel it again in this life, it was ridiculous and not going to last. Someone told me to make sure that your loved more than you love....whatever that means.
Now I'm dating again I really don't think I can let myself believe in the one. Guy I'm dating is saying he is in love with me, he's not. Its lust and chemistry, something he needs now.
Sorry if that sounds depressing, true love comes and goes in a relationship through the years mixed with all the good and bad, no illusions or co-dependency.

That's okay gotta, I understand that totally.
Ice given myself a reality check and a bit of a talking to now

You lucky thing! Enjoy it all!

When I first met Dh in a pub, we had a short kiss and it felt like lightening bolts. A few days later he told me that it felt like lightening to him, without me saying it.

It was most odd!

It was the easiest relationship ever, from dating to marriage. No game playing, we both knew it was for keeps from the outset. Never had a relationship like it (and he's my second dh).

When my now DH walked into the room...I'd never seen him before...I was at work and he strolled in to introduce himself to me...and I thought "Oh no! I'm going to end up with him!"

And I was right!

The "Oh no!" was a sort of shock....and an inevitability which took me by surprise.

I knew my now DH for years before we dated. As soon as we sat in the car together I just knew that he was going to be part of my life.

He was the only one that I thought to myself, 'if this guy asks me to marry him I'm going to say yes'

He was deep whereas previous boyfriends were shallow. He loved me for me and didn't need prompting, unlike previous boyfriends.

I guess I just saw my future with him in a way I hadn't seen it with anyone else. I felt we had the never ending story.

He had this deep, unlimited love for me. It wasn't the, 'it'll do for now' attitude I'd had to previous relationships where I had absolutely no intention of getting married.