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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Snoring: How can you live with it?

72 replies

pinkrocker · 14/01/2015 09:18

I know this is not a particularly important subject to post in the Relationship topic, but I'm at the end of my patience, I don't know what to do or how to go on from here.
Just been away for weekend and despite earplugs DP's snoring has caused me to be teary, weepy and pathetic, I am just so tired.
He was after intimacy when he woke up and I just felt like punching him.
I don't know what cures there are?

OP posts:

littleleftie · 14/01/2015 19:18

I split up with someone over this. I need my sleep and ultimately that was more important to me than him.

Joysmum · 14/01/2015 19:33

Ditto the others, if the foam ones don't work then go for the made to measure ones.

For me, the reason I'm not incandescent with rage is because my DH understands how sleep deprivation can affect me and is so sorry.

I know that despite his weights issues, this wasn't a factor for his father and considering my weight issues, I can't expect him to be better than I am at that. It is what it is.

bnotts · 14/01/2015 19:33

Seperate rooms here. Even then need earplugs. My DP's snoring is so bad he kept awake all his biker mates on a campsite a few months ago. So bad they started up a motorbike backed into the front of his tent (filmed it) the next morning. He still thinks it is not that bad. So I've slept in the nursery/kids rooms til we moved somewhere with a spare room. Weight loss has helped in the past as has not drinking . I'm an insomniac so need my space anyway.

BaffledSomeMore · 14/01/2015 19:41

DH has recently started wearing a mouth guard. It works!

MehsMum · 14/01/2015 19:43

Earplugs. And he lost several stone which helped no end.

What also helped was a memory foam mattress: it didn't change the snoring, but it stopped me being bounced awake every time he rolled over (he doesn't just roll, he flails like like a seal on the sand), so I don't get woken up so often to then listen to him start snoring again. Somehow, if I'm asleep, the snoring doesn't tend to wake me, though it can keep me awake...

MissMogwi · 14/01/2015 19:58

Boots own make throat strips have stopped me smothering my DP.

They stick in the roof of the mouth and relax the throat muscles. Honestly they are a miracle cure as I've never heard anything like his snoring. I was exhausted and so resentful every single morning.

If he drinks then he snores a bit but otherwise I don't hear a peep from him.

Of course other factors like weight and meds might mean these strips don't work for you, but at £5 for 21 they are worth a try and a true bargain.

PasstheDaimbars · 14/01/2015 20:08

While it might be weight, it could be other factors. If it's sleep apnoea it can affect their health long term. Sleep apnoea is considered to be related to heart disease, diabetes and more.

Plus they're not getting a proper nights sleep. OH used to be a total pain, he could never just sit down and watch a film/ TV, as he knew he'd doze off within minutes. So he'd chat, hop up and down, etc.

It took a massive hissy fit for him to go to the GP his sleep study showed that he was 'waking' on average every 2 minutes.

It took a week for him to get used to the mask, and he was like a new man after that. Lost weight, he wasn't eating to try and stay awake, had loads more energy, was always a runner/ fit but was able to do more. And discovered that actually he wasn't a 'need' 8+ hours person when he's getting regular quality sleep he naturally only needs 5-5 1/2 hours.

It's lack of respect for your relationship if he can't be arsed to keep healthy.

Original poster

pinkrocker · 14/01/2015 20:13

I might just buy those Boots strips! It's worth a try. I do like VenusRising's comment that sleep depravation is torture .... I might actually say that to him.
He could do with losing a bit of weight, I don't know how much he weighs tbh.
But we get on so bloody well in every single other area, apart from me dreading sleeping with him, it's such a shame that this is getting to be such am issue
He's away for 4 months at a time (forces) so at least I know I'll get some sleep soon!!

OP posts:

Kernowgal · 14/01/2015 21:22

It's a dealbreaker for me. An ex had sleep apnoea and I ended up sleeping in the spare room when I stayed over.

I holidayed with a friend earlier this year, sharing a room, and she snored so loudly that the people in the room next door were shouting at her to shut up. I'm a light sleeper and I can't stand that sort of regular-but-not-constant noise. Earplugs are a godsend.

I am guilty of snoring if I've had a drink and fall asleep on my back, but generally I sleep on my side so it's not an issue.

abbykins3 · 14/01/2015 21:34

I've heard that if you go to one of those sleep clinics your driving license is automatically revoked.

Don't know if that's true or not.

CheeseDreams · 14/01/2015 21:35

I feel your pain I really do! Might try those throat strips and the book that was mentioned.

I'm a really light sleeper and DH snores so loudly I had hear it even if I sleep in the spare room! Ear plugs never worked so now I listen to white noise on my iPod with ear bud head phones (benefit of this is that I can't hear when the baby or toddler wake up so he has to deal with it!) also got a huge superking sized bed with an amazing mattress so the vibrations of the snoring don't wake me.

paddy29 · 14/01/2015 22:50

Me and wife sleep in different rooms so we both get a goodnight's sleep. I think we both snore but its me who is the very light/bad sleeper so it was me who felt it the most, I was constantly knackered.

Also I use white noise which is the sound of rain on a loop all night from a speaker, really helps as well. On holidays when we have slept together that has saved me sleepless nights.

Sallystyle · 14/01/2015 23:06

This is why we have our own rooms on different floors. I know I am lucky that was an option.

I could not cope with it. I feel your pain OP.

Original poster

pinkrocker · 14/01/2015 23:15

He asked if I was looking forward to a snore free, cough and gurgle free night. I said yes!!! and that something needs to be done!! I suggested he visit docs, he said he supposes he could, so that's a start!
He does say sorry every time.

OP posts:

MeowImaCatfish · 14/01/2015 23:26

Most of the time I don't mind listening to him sleep, it's quite cute actually... But other times when he snores his shins tend to get battered nudged

BoredChurch · 14/01/2015 23:28

I thought Weight was the biggest factor but I might be wrong. DH is not overweight but has something wrong with his nostrils (nodules or something? ) he sometimes snores like a steam train. It drives me crazy. I can hear from downstairs.

If he is in a snoring phase, say if he's got a cold, then I let him go to bed before me and wait until he stops.

I snore too. I not sure why, I'm not overweight and I don't drink.

It not like in the movies is it .

sykadelic · 15/01/2015 01:47

I'm the one that snores and it's because I have sleep apnea.

Aside from sometimes resulting in death, stroke, heart attacks etc, sleep apnea causes weight gain. Weight gain makes it worse.

I now have a CPAP and don't snore. The only time I snore is when I'm sick and coughing, 'cause I can't wear my mask!

My poor husband said it was getting worse and worse, he was so tired, so that's why I saw a doc and now it's over a year later and I feel a lot more rested and so does he :)

Original poster

pinkrocker · 15/01/2015 07:46

Thank you all so much for your helpful replies.
I had an awesome peaceful night's sleep, all on my own!!

I'm sending him this link [http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/mobile/ here]] as there is a quiz on it! And I think the mouthguard is £20, hopefully that will be the solution! !

OP posts:

Heyho111 · 15/01/2015 07:56

It can cause a major problem in a relationship. One of us ends up in the spare room most nights. His is fat related. I get really angry that he knows his weight causes it, causes us to sleep seperatly and causes me to be on my knees with tiredness but does nothing about his weight. It makes me resent him. He can eat what he likes be as fat as he likes and I'll still love him. But it eats me up that he won't sort it out.

payuktaxrichardbranson · 15/01/2015 08:14

If you go to a sleep clinic you keep your driving licence in over 99% of cases. It's the sleep apnoea which isn't treated which makes you a dangerous driver as you are basically falling asleep behind the wheel. In fact getting treatment from a sleep clinic makes you a safer driver as you are more alert after a good night's sleep. I'm s female sleep apnoea sufferer and and I drive.

Original poster

pinkrocker · 15/01/2015 09:09

He doesn't drive so that won't be a problem, although in his job he must be alert, so I might mention that to him as well.

OP posts:

Idocrazythings · 15/01/2015 13:53

DH snores terribly. It took a camping trip with friends telling him how bad he was to see a sleep clinic-even then it was about four months later. The sleep doctor says he has one of the worst cases of apnoea he has seen. The CPAP helped, but he still snores through it. Most nights he ends up on the lounge suite. He's not long finished his trial period and is going back early feb to buy one, (we have been with out it nearly a month) ... Which is horribly expensive, but completely worth it for my sanity and our relationship. Losing 30 kg should help too I think.

jakesmith · 15/01/2015 14:19

I snore, not all the time but enough to be a problem. It's worse when I am a bit overweight, I am stocky build but need to lose about 1 st at the moment. I try not to sleep on my back, bought a spray for £13 which seems to work some of the time, have set up the spare room with a £800 mattress on the bed & luxury bedding so its v v comfortable for either of us to go in, and most importantly am doing boot camp to lose the weight. If the weight loss doesn't fix it I'll go to the doctor. I don't mean to snore but will do everything I can to stop. DW knows I am trying to fix it so is cool.

SoleSource · 15/01/2015 14:23

Saw this in Maplin yesterday

Original poster

pinkrocker · 15/01/2015 14:51

Sole I like the idea of giving him a teensy electric shock! [grin!]

OP posts:

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