The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the New Year in Fine Style

[venusandmars]

Hello, I'm Venus, and standing in for Mouse (who usually starts all our threads)

This is a safe and welcoming place for anyone who is facing up to a problem with alcohol. It may be something you’ve known for years, or it may be that struggling with dry January has made you re-think your relationship with drink.
Anyway, welcome old and new, lurkers and posters. It can be a weird thread at times – travelling on a bus called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all been in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. If you find all the banter off-putting just jump in with a cry for help.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

Our most recent thread, if you want to catch up

Looking good wry.
In my head I am five foot 10 and a sexy size 10/12 with glowing skin and no saggy bits or gunt.
I can dream!

In harsh reality though.... more like this. Make up needs a bit of a rethink.

xx

Gah. Struggling with sticking with Dry January. On the Becks Blue but WW hovering. Have to remember how crap it makes me feel in the morning..

Good to see you wry but don't worry about having to come on here if you don't feel up to it. If you've given the antidepressants enough time to work (6 weeks) and you're not happy then maybe you need to change. Mine take the edge off my anxiety but they don't numb all emotions.

You could try a different one, or maybe halve the dose you're on?

Hi foxy ladies,

As it was such a gorgeous bright day we took dd2 to the park, I played on on everything head upwards to the sun, eyes closed, feeling free and new, I banked the moment, it was a good one. So much so dd2 said "Mum, can we go now".

I also found the evenings really tough at first but somewhere, somehow the evenings are replaced with other things. At the moment I don't give wine a second thought, I can't go back and I don't want to. My problem is when the depression hits, things go dark and lank as does my mood and all sensibility is lost, that's what I have to watch out for. Hopefully by creating new and good experiences I can fill the dark corners with light.

wry I'm so so happy your back, your loved and adored on here and light our little bus up, the times when this bus shows it true mystical magical powers is when it's helping a babe in need do let us help and support you lovely lovely lady. depression turned me into a zombie and it's taken a few tweaks to get the meds right so speak to your GP., the thing that frightened me the most is the thought it might never make it back , that the old me was gone forever but honey I promise you it will get better, you will get better and YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

My dog is a fat cocker spaniel who pees in the house , is very high maintenance and whines a lot, this does not not bode well for me!!

khalisi I was so touched by your lovely post about your fabby run up the killer hill, imagined you as kate bush in a flowing, cascading kaftan singing that fabulous song . Remember sweat is your fat crying, love that.

What a lovely lot you all are, I feel so lucky to be part of the magic that is our very special bus,

Be back later babes xxx

Lost three big posts today, ho hum, let's see if I can get as far as posting this one!

I've been struggling a bit today - reminding myself that I may have wanted wine but, I didn't need it - and the moment passed - but kept coming back! Danger time has gone for me now, but that WW bitch don't 'alf sneak up on a girl!

Wry,Baby & Joey are right, it does sometimes take a while to get the balance of meds right. And I am sure you are much more the first pic than the second - bet Little Lab thinks so anyway.

Baby - another glorious day to cherish.

Ma - come on, the nights are getting shorter, you're over half way through Jan, and yes, it WILL make you feel rubbish in the morning.

I am really tired, and starting to get anxious about work again, but nothing like last week. Going to go and see how DM and DS are getting on with the cinnamon buns - think they may have been a bit over-ambitious for DS!

Remember we are all doing a really difficult thing, but we're not doing it alone.

Wry sweetheart so good to have you back onboard Have some more mushrooms, just for good measure. Homemade chocolate mousse to finish

Has it been 6 weeks on your ADs? the other Babes could be right, could it be worth going back to the quack to see what he/she says?

Ma move away from the wine, you know that you'll feel like shite in the morning, have another Beck Blue followed by a nice cuppa. Lovely warm bubble bath and bed. YOU CAN DO IT

Baby you rock

Sweet there must be so many 'lost posts in the MN void' so annoying innit. Hope the buns are really tasty

Hello my beautiful friends,

Thank you for all the beautiful posts! I love catching up. I feel like I'm in my beautiful livingroom with all of you around, some in the kitchen yelling the latest story over the noise. Some just reading. And others telling me what's up. That is what I feel when I read all the posts, so thank you!

I signed off yesterday thinking I'd be back but then the day ran away! Got my chminey fixed (although I have to check because it looked wet today). Then I went to this really fancy birthday party at a restuarant.
Since I was driving, I knew that if I drink it wouldn't be more than a glass.
I didn't. Two glasses of champagne (my mouth STILL waters) thinking about them were offered to me. Put in front of me.
And I sad 'Thank you. I don't drink alcohol'.
To be honest I really loved how saying that made me feel. Looking at the photos and videos today I realised I really don't need alcohol to be happy and witty and fun. I AM fun. I think that is what I learned.
And, I was in bed at 3.30am and was up at 8.30am fresh, and ready for the day.
I cleaned like crazy and cooked a south african 'potjie' casserole dish for a friend and her daugher.
By the time they showed up my kitchen was spotless again and I was showered, in a nice dress and super relaxed!
(mind, I'm REALLY kaputt now!)

I don't know how long I can go, but right now, I really love living AF. Just for me.

Sorry for the long selfish post.

I hope everyone had as lovely a Sunday?!

Very Well Done Khalisi You Go Babe Is Potjie that mince dish with egg custard stuff on the top? Sounds like you've got a 'serious' Boing going on Enjpy the rest of your evening x

There's fuck all on TV, I'm a bit Meh but no huge desire to drink No Boing though, oh well, I'll keep on keeping on

Ma can I put Barrie away yet?

That is some serious 'boing' you've got there Khalisi! Long may it continue.

Spanna, we just got them out of the oven, and they are A-Ma-Zing. It's a ridiculously complicated and long Bake Off recipe, but WOW!

Thanks, spanna!

I have no idea what a Boing is! I don't feel like I've really got this whole not drinking thing under control at all. Literally, how can my mouth water for alcohol offered to me yesterday?!
If it just didn't taste so bloody lekker.

No, you are talking about a bobotie, I think. A potjie is a cast iron pot and one puts all sorts of things in (today I put beef, dried fruits, jam, etc in). But it can be vegetarian too.

Thanks, sweet.
But now really do explaint to me, what exactly is a 'boing'!

Sweet

oh shit. whatever it is it is going!
sorry for the typos!

Yeah, you can put Barrie back in the tank. I made it!

Yoohoo ma!

I'm signing off. 18 days AF. I cannot remember when I ever went this long without a drink.

Good night Babes!
Another week awaits.
Sweet, be strong, babes!

Woop Woop Ma!!!! Wry, Hope get your Pom Poms and lycra out Ma made it > Well done Babe

P.S. Wry, I'm sorry about your hair!
My hair was butchered last September. All I could say for days is 'I look like a bloody chicken!'
Very traumatising experience. But now they're growing back and last night was the first time I had it really nice and I forgave that man just a bit.
babes.

Well done khalisi

Hi all, nice busy bus tonight. Settling in, pulling up the rug over my knees and wondering if anyone will throw me a spare opal fruit?

Wry - we haven't 'met' but I love, love, love your posts from my lurking days and I am so happy to see you back, and so not happy to hear you are not happy. Don't ever feel bad about not being here - you are such a lovely warm presence for everyone, you need time and space to be there for yourself too.

Baby, such a lovely post, love the image of you banking the moment. Sweet, Ma, sorry its a bit of a struggle-y day - hope you get to curl up and sleep soon and that tomorrow brings an easier ride for you both.

Yay, Khalisi - I so love that you just said 'I don't drink alcohol'. I am slightly in awe of that - it sounds so proper, grown up and straightforward. I am still skirting around how and what to tell people about my not-drinking and at the moment it is quite easy just to pass it off as Dry Jan. I know I want this to last longer than Jan and at the same time I am rather scared of the finality of 'I don't drink alcohol' - it sounds very permanent. And I don't want to have to deal with any questions about why not, etc. Oh well, day at a time - right now its the fact of not drinking that matters, rather than how I spin it to the rest of the world.

Good day today. Big Sunday lunch out in the pub with the family and it was so lovely. I didn't spend the whole time working out how to sneak in an extra glass of wine when no-one was looking (I have on occasion been known to stash a spare one under the table or behind a conveniently placed plant) and instead we had a proper family chat, like people in a film or something, actually talking to each other, asking questions (well, one of us is only 4 so her questions were eccentric and opaque to say the least). Slight wobble when we got home - 3.30-6.30pm is a tricky time for me on a weekend, but having got over that with the aid of a trusty Becks Blue, I am now drinking a beetroot, orange and ginger smoothie (oddly yummy) and feeling at peace with the world.

My skin looks lots better, too, though I strongly suspect this is simply because I'm no longer too pissed to take off my makeup of an evening.

Sleep well, everyone

Sleep well smallfox. Sounds like you had a good day

Hello, have read all posts so up to speed but sooo tired that I can't nc and been like that all day.

Khalisi well done on being no booze fun person- can't see me doing that like ever!

That's all folks. Sleep well

Thanks, ma!

Look at you having such a grown up lunch, Fox! So proud of you.
Really proud of you!
I am petrified by how final that sounded. But really love the feeling. Very unexpected.
And you know what? No one asked. I think we obsess much more.
My daughter turned 23 yesterday and this is the first time I have gone so long without drinking. I am so ashamed when I think of it.
I have to let go of the shame. I will gain nothing from it but more shame and stay stuck in a rut.

One of my new friends wrote and pinned this on my fridge when I was out of the room:

'The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new' - Socrates.

xxx

Thanks, Ruby with the beautiful red lips
When you wrote that a while back about being fun and booze (if I'm remembering correctly), it hit straight home.

I did say like ever babes. For this reason, maybe at this point just think of it as a work in progress.
I hate being so naked to people when I'm sober. Alcohol gives me a mask which makes me feel so good.

But that is what it is. A mask. I don't want to be fifty and not know the real me. I'm scared. But if I can have fun with her, I'll be good, I think.

Now I really have to sleep. I have to be up at 5!

Again, good night, my lovelies!