Right, I am going to get tough with all of you (and I may raise my voice, but it's for your own good).
STOP APOLOGISING!
Stop apologising for letting out that you are having a bad time. If you can't do it here, where we understand, where can you? And, as Sober's post so eloquently points out, sublimated feelings always find a way out somewhere, in our cases, they pour out disguised as a cheeky little pinot, or a warm comforting shiraz.
I am hereby insisting that you don't stay away and keep it to yourselves - because that is when you will reach for a glass - go on check out your posting patterns - I bet it's true.
So, let other Babes lend you some strength, you'll be in a position to offer it back eventually, but not until you've got some to spare.
There, lecture over. Hugs, or embarrassed arms pats for everyone, depending on your preference.
Hope you have every right to feel awful about your situation. You also have every right to sing from the roof tops that you have the most A-MA-ZING darling, darling boy. For what it's worth, my ExP (DS's father) was so like your H sounds. He was a 'musician' and relied on me to provide financial security - which I did, sometimes doing three jobs, accepting a full-time academic position when i should have left it six months whilst I finished my PhD. Anything he earned was his. Anything I earned was his. He would never have left - he resented me, hated me, made my working life difficult, cut me off from friends and worst of all, sucked the joy out of the first three years of DS's life. So, difficult as it was, after 13 years I left him. It took me six months to get him out of the house I paid for. He left the heating on all summer and told me he had threatened suicide 
. Yep, he was so pathetic he wouldn't even threaten to throw himself off a bridge directly, he told me he had thought about ringing the Samaritans. There is loads more. Hope, it won't get better, and he will not take any action for himself, but if we can help you keep a bit sane, then stay on board.
Sober, is this the first counseling you have had? It can be tough. I used to come out alternating between euphoria and desperate uncontrollable tears. I'm still as mad as a box of frogs (and not in a wacky "I'm mad me" way), but what little sanity I have is thanks to counseling. That stuff you have packed away needs to come out, and once it does you can begin to build the resources that will stop it sneaking back in.
Pop, keep posting when you can. I promise you that wine might help make you feel sleepy, but it IS NOT helping you sleep. It takes some time AF to reset, and you may need help in the short term from your GP, but when it settles down, it is one of the things that makes everyday stresses easier to deal with.
Morning Ruby have a good day at work.
Right, having got that off my chest, it is snowing here, something of a novelty - I let Puss-the-Cat out to see it - she was not impressed. I had a really good sleep last night and feel ready to tackle some 'stuff' today - might even have a bit of Boing! 