The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the New Year in Fine Style

[venusandmars]

Hello, I'm Venus, and standing in for Mouse (who usually starts all our threads)

This is a safe and welcoming place for anyone who is facing up to a problem with alcohol. It may be something you’ve known for years, or it may be that struggling with dry January has made you re-think your relationship with drink.
Anyway, welcome old and new, lurkers and posters. It can be a weird thread at times – travelling on a bus called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all been in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. If you find all the banter off-putting just jump in with a cry for help.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

Our most recent thread, if you want to catch up

Afternoon babes, you can do it Sweet

Hi obrigada

Yes, you can do it Sweet, stick to the cat food exit plan, hold tight to your water and know we are all rooting for you. Go babe!

isinde

khalis your running sounds incredible, hats off to you super fit babe. I am guessing from your occasional comments that you are in Germany??

ruby hello you! hope you are having a good day.

saturn. Well done!! Day one nailed. I bet Banff is beautiful.

ma hope you are feeling a brighter today babe. .

Love to you all xxx

Hey all
Well done Saturn
Nah, still feel blue. Sorry to be a misery

You are missing that sparkle of excitement provided by distracted chap? Or is it January blues? Whatever it is sweetheart, don't forget what a fabulous, skydiving, friend of the queen, owner of superior norkage radiant thistle you are xxxx

Good evenings, Babes!

ma misery loves company so just hang around, we'll watch out for you! Big hug, my dear. Hope you feel better soon.
Is it about the chap, a little, or just blue blue?

beaches yes, I'm in Deutschlend (as the american colleague says!)

sweet hope you get out of there with your head up high (and fast!). Hope you survive it ok.

Hope every one's hanging in there?

Hi obrigada! How you doing, babes?

Hi all, just checking in. Not much to report, same old, same old getting through dreary January. Not drinking is going well, dieting is a gentle start. I'm just warming up to do it properly

I set myself some goals. Just for today. I did it yesterday too. And the day before and, well, you get it, ODAAT

1. No drinking (obvs)
2. 5,000 steps a day (min)
3. No snacking between meals

Has anyone dared to click on the blog of the day? Big scary glass of wine there doesn't help much does it but actually it's a good read.

Hi to all and welcome to Saturn. I love Banff, so pretty, is it as great a place to live as it seems?

Thanks beaches and all. Yes, its about the chap and the thought of spending the rest of my days with WB and none of my days with distracted chap.
I need to accept I've been an idiot and move on

Home, PJs on, last night's Wolf Hall cued up on Iplayer, and not a drop has passed my lips - it wasn't as difficult as I thought - couple of people who should have known better got a little more than tipsy, which I wouldn't normally have noticed. I'm pleased I said no, and will be glad in the morning - when I actually do have to go to the only place locally that sells the cat food we like - when I don't have a mouth like a badger's arse, and a head like a gorilla's armpit!

Faire sounds like a good collection of daily goals to me.

Hello to everyone else - got to concentrate, will be back when I've watched it.

Great, sweet! I feel like a fly on the wall watching other people getting drunk.

yes, beaches, I'm in Germany.

Good night, my lovely babes.

Luffs youse!

Well done Sweet!

Ma . I suspect this may not be the last you hear from him but be careful with your heart. He represents the chance of something different, that may still happen whether he is part of it or not. Here, have some (poor substitute I know)

khalis I visited Germany on a youthful interrail trip many, many, many years ago. There were many things I loved about it, youth hostel breakfast for one! Night babe

faire may steal myself to read the blog in a bit, while ignoring the big glass of red. at the gentle start to the diet, I like that!

Well lovely babes, day 22 almost done. I have just got a delivery of coloured glass, nippers and pliers. Spanna wish you could show me what on earth I am doing!!

Night xx

Hey lovely ladies,

spanna lovely lady I just love your posts. They say life imitates art, well I am the first person ever to receive a "puppy ASBO"!!! I took my puppy and my mum took hers to puppy training classes, my puppy done a huge turd on the floor which our other puppy decided to pee on, this caused the others dogs to run over and then slid all over the said shite and spread it everywhere, it was like "turd exorcist". I got a bollocking from the trainer and I'm banned from all her classes, they were shite anyway , get it, shite!!!!!

Anyways I'm a month sober tomorrow, a whole month and it feels great to have a little pride instead of lots of shame. Most significant is my relationship with dd1. She had lost all respect for me, was hurt that she was not enough to stop me, ashamed at what I went to the shop looking like, drink and dishevelled during the DAY, and disgusted at the smelly, dirty, aggressive person I'd become. Ok id had a massive breakdown but how can a 15 year old be expected to understand or empathise.

These days although initially very cautious we have rebuilt a relationship where I'm the mum, not the child and she smiles so much more and despite repeated relapses she trusts me.

It's funny a month is nothing In a lifetime but long enough to change a life.

Our lovely newbies have brought an amazing energy to our lovely bus, I'm so enjoying all your posts so please keep posting all you can, good or bad and all our old friends who have been here for me, last year, this year and I know with certainty next year and that makes me feel kinda special and a winner.

Keep on keeping on
May the bus be with you xxx

Peeping in to say night night, just in and a weeny bit tired and very cold, will catch up properly in the morning,

BigFatBosies, xxx

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

baby lovely post. It's amazing what a difference it can make. I still have pangs every now and then, mostly when I'm with a friend and I'm craving that first glass of wine. Doesn't take too much effort to think about what I'd be giving up. I know I'd head back very fast to 1.5 bottles of wine daily, or at the very least many times a week. And although it's sustainable on some level, it's a really shit life sucked into that vinegary, guilt, anxious, lethargic bullshit. It really is half a life. Fun for about 15 minutes and everything else after that is crap.

good night wry. Sweet dreams. xx

Good morning lovely laaaaydeeeees, Day 21 and I've not cracked

Ma I may have to get Barrie out of his tank You are doing so well on the AF and losing weight which in turn will make you feel so much better, more confident, give you a sense of well being, you'll be able to think clearer Come on Babe, brush yourself down, head up, Norkes out and take one minute, hour, day at a time. The fact that 'distracted' chap ignited your emotions and lust does mean that it is still possible for you to feel like that. Doesn't it? Why not start putting your money that you would have spent on Wine or Gin towards some more gliding lessons or a pamper weekend with your Bestie? You are a strong purple thistle and you are an amazing woman, mother, wife and bestie. Go for it Ma you really can turn the corner to the new you

Beaches my lovely daisy, how exciting that your glass has arrived. I would so love to beam myself over to you and have a play around, it is so satisfying creating something from scratch that you can call your own. I am I don't get a chance to do anything like that anymore. My top tips when working with glass (you probably know this already, sorry if you do) Always work with a template made from paper and the smaller the sections of glass, the harder it becomes to cut into shapes that you may want. Avoid circles if you can, they are hard work. Always score your glass right to the edge and always mark out the lines on the glass you want for your pattern/design a non-permanent black marker is good. On the clippers there should be a ridge on one side that there isn't on the other, always have this ridge facing upwards. I hope that helps. Have masses of fun my friend, oh and always wear protective glasses/goggles Have a great day darling. Yes babe, you have a good memory, tis my friends son's anniversary I'm trying to remember all of the good times we all had

Nuff good to see you lovely. Sounds like you've got a handle on everything. Yep can't wait for January to be over, it's always a funny old month. Have a good day x

Fox well done on staying AF for your meal with your mate, Awesome work, take some pride from that Babe and have a good day today

Sweet hope you're ok today, have a good one x

Saturn welcome lovely, stick around you'll get alot of support on here

Khalis I love your posts some of the things you mention really resonate with me. I have had some really bad 'cringe' the next day moments during my drinking career, not good is it. But I find if you process them, go through those feelings, they are so much easier to let go of and much easier to banish from your brain This is the 'new you' - stronger, with a clear head, more able to think about the future and much more able to process emotions, however painful they may be

Baby I howled at your puppy shit story It is so so good to hear your possitivity ooozing from every pore of your being. I love it. Have a good day Babe

Isinde just wanted to give you a tight squeeze. You have alot to process at the moment and I just want you to be kind to yourself. Take care darling

Mouse just leaving some ooozing brie on the dash board for you xxx

Must get myself up now, work again today, Urgh and it's Friday which is a huge trigger for me

Morning All, Day 23.

Only got half way through Wolf Hall before I crashed out and went to be. So, so tired. Anyway, running a bit late this morning, so will catch up when I'm at my desk waiting for students to turn up for tutorials - why do the little buggers always pick the very last slot of the day?

Morning babes, looking forward to an alcohol free weekend. This weekend will be spent cleaning so will pop in and out (assuming text doesn't go to tiny text on phone) and hopefully you can all motivate me to continue with the cleaning
Have eye test tomorrow morning, have been wearing cheap reading glasses for the last 10 years, but with being diagnosed with overactive thyroid my eyes are permanently tired and gritty so eye test badly needed.

In between tutorials - I should say that although I complain about my students, they are really the bit of the job I love - they just take a bit of training (and I have yet to find the student equivalent of Dreamies - seriously, I don't know what is in them, but Puss takes the corner on two paws with accompanying cartoon scuttling noises if she hears the cupboard door open). Trouble is, I just get them right and they go and graduate!

Khalisi, it was like some weird anthropological research project - participant observation - and bloody hell don't some people get touchy when drunk - I got hugged, and squeezed, and slapped on the back - seriously, dudes, NO!

What design do you have in mind, Beaches? I am intrigued, awed and jealous and utterly without any grain of crafty, artistic ability.

Baby - your puppy asbo cheered my morning right up - what kind of crappy dog trainer can't cope with dogs doing what dogs do (doo)? Your post also made me think about the original thread, and JWN rebuilding trust with her daughter.
And I have just typed and printed:
"A month is nothing In a lifetime but long enough to change a life" and pinned it to the notice board above my desk. Thank you.

Hope your duvet was warm and your dreams sweet, Wry.

Spanna, is that a bit of boing I detect?

You're doing well Babes, keep it up - and if not the rest of us will keep it up for you (Ma, don't go there, step away from the double entendre).

Who needs Socrites when you've got me for home made quotes!!

My dh often says I should have a camera crew following me as I seem to stumble from one disaster to another whether it be puppy classes, constantly tripping over, running out of fuel, trying to get into the wrong car, blowing up the oven with a Fray bentos pie. (Lid on), going out with sleep mask on my head, blowing obstruction out of Hoover hose then going shopping with a black ring round my mouth and the list goes on !!! Worst of all that's me sober, no wonder some think I'm as mad as a box of frogs!!!

I've just finished a brilliant, brutally honest book called "confronting the bottle" it made me feel sick in parts due to some parts hitting way to close to home and I learned a lot about myself through the book. Thank God my family and dh saved me from the dreadful situations this poor woman found herself in but there by the grace of god and all that. I was glad to finish it and almost giddy with relief to be sober. Look it up, it was an uncomfortable read but a worthwhile one.

Have a great day my very dear friends. Xxxxx

Baby, I agree with your DH, you definitely need a camera crew following you . Must look up that book x

Afternoon all. Just popping in for a quick wave.

Sweet - I love that you still love your students. So many lecturers resent them and act like they're just getting in the way of more important research stuff - fab that you don't do that. What did you think of Wolf Hall before you conked out? I loved the books and the stage version - reserving judgment on the TV adaptation, very slow and dark (I sound like my dad now - he liked Cranmer 'because at least I could see him'!). But some of the acting was great - I did miss a drink during it, tho - would have helped things along nicely!

Baby love your poo story - more please (not more poo - oh, you know what I mean)! Fab, fab job on the month sober. Obrigada - go you with the cleaning, good luck. Such a cathartic thing to do.

Spanna - lovely post, good luck with whacking that friday trigger fairly and squarely on the head. Wry, hope you had a good sleep and have warmed up.

And in case Mouse is sniffing out the brie waiting for her on the dashboard, big hug.

Sorry if I've missed people - bit of a rush job before heading off for the weekend. Looking forward to it but a bit worried as it will be a test - lots of trigger people and events to deal with. Feeling strong, though, equipped with the knowledge that this is the longest I've been AF since pregnancy, and probably the best I've felt since then too. I've even stopped embarking on sentences only to forget what i thought I might have been talking about - and words are less elusive too. Buuuuut...its when I feel strong and say things like that that the WW is most likely to pounce, so I will think it quietly and keep everything crossed....

May see you guys over the weekend, may not be til Sun depending on how things go - so have a great weekend everyone, and stay strong.

Baby you sound utterly wonderful to be around.

Things I have done sober (mostly just forgetful) - can't remember the other stuff!

Lectured to 60 students with my blouse on inside out.
Left my handbag on a steam train
Driven all the way to work and walked to my office with one giant curler on top of my head ("What nice friendly builders" I thought as they smiled at me and waved)
Lot's of falling over in mud and just sitting there whilst I think of a dignified way to get up.
I've also done the getting into the wrong car thing.

OK, one thing I do remember drunk - gave the poor warm up guy at a BBC comedy recording such a hard time I got very nearly got our department bannned from block booking tickets - I didn't behave any better when we were invited to the green room afterwards .

Small, I'm not sure I liked it (Wolf Hall) I watch a lot of TV - for professional purposes, and I can do slow, dark and complex, but I just couldn't find Mark Rylance charismatic enough. In the books, Cromwell is no oil painting, but Mantel is very clear about his presence. I will watch the rest tonight - I understand it improves when Henry makes his entrance.

Sweet - I am not sure Damian Lewis ever improved anything much, but I know I am in a minority on that (please no-one shout at me).

Hi, everyone. Is there a seat free for me, please?

I'm a regular, on a name change as a few people irl know my usual screen name.

I am facing up to the fact that I am an alcoholic. I have to sort myself out before I lose my family. I am lucky enough to have access to a fantastic counselor, provided by my work, but I need whatever other sources of strength and support I can get right now.