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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So 2 of my friend's friends don't like me...............

45 replies

northerner · 16/10/2006 09:22

Had a fab girls night out on Saturday, there was me, my best friend, my bext door neighbour and another good friend. Whilst out we hooked up with a nother good friend of mine (so good her ds was having a sleepover at mine and my dh was babysitting so she could go out as she is divorced)

Anyway, my friend who we met up with had 2 friends with her who decided to take an instant dislike to me. She heard them bitching about me in a pub and told them to shut up. When she got home with them she decided to bring it up as she felt it was out of order. They both told her they didn't like me, and I apparantly made them feel uncomfortable. They had a huge row and she threw them out and they are now not speaking. She is very upset that they would slag me off, when they know we are such good friends. I feel bad for her, she's had a hard tim recently and now this

Why do some grown women insist on acting like 13 year olds? I thought we all got on OK, I certainly don't know enough about them to decide I don't like them.

I can never see them again now knowing they both dislike me so much can I?

Just think what's going on with people at the moment? I was nice and polite to them all evening, and to think they were slaging me off in the pub whilst I was there! Jeez.

OP posts:

loujay · 16/10/2006 09:27

Are you going to see these people on a regular basis??
If not then forget them
I know how horrid it is when you come across someone who doesnt like you amd I am going through something myself where a "friend" of mine and her husband are behaving like 12 year olds..........I am rising above it!!
Get on with your life and be happy with the lovely friends you already have

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 09:28

No I won't have to see them on a regular basis, if at all. Apart from maybe bumping into 1 of them in particular maybe.....

OP posts:

loujay · 16/10/2006 09:30

So when you bump into that one person, be the biger person and smile as before

Avalon · 16/10/2006 09:36

That's sad, northerner. But what a good friend you have to speak up for you.

southeastastralplain · 16/10/2006 09:37

i do think people are going a bit loon at the mo. something to do with the moon!

HuwEdwards · 16/10/2006 09:37

for crying out loud, how juvenile. Northerner you may have made these 2 weirdos feel 'uncomfortable' (wtf does that mean) but you're obv the type of friend that inspires fierce loyalty, hence the mate who confronted then threw them out.

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 09:39

I worked with a woman we got on really well & had a good laugh every time we went out but whenever she brought another friend along she turned into a completely different person (one who I didnt particularly like) I just stopped going out with her in the end and when I moved didnt bother keeping in touch.

Its hard not to take it personally but as I told my DS when a boy wouldnt be his friend "just because someone doesnt like you it doesnt meant there is anything wrong with you, his parents obviously just never taught him good manners"

I cant stand some of the Mums at School but I always smile brightly & say hello - I dont get into conversations tho - that would be treading into two faced territory

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 09:43

These 2 girls were so two faced to me, when we were chatting they were lovely to me. I left before them and went to seek them out to say good bye and how nice it was to meet them. They smiled sweetly and said the same to me.

YOu are right, my friend has been loyal in protecting my name And I would do teh same if anyone bitched about a good friend of mine.

Apparantly they could not substantiate any claims about why they didn't like me, it wasn't anything I said or did, other than making them feel uncomfortable and they said I love myself. So not true. It's all so juvenile.

OP posts:

ghosty · 16/10/2006 09:49

TBH, northerner ... why did your friend tell you this?
If I had friends who didn't like another friend of mine, I wouldn't tell her ... why bother, if they aren't friends of yours? Telling you has only hurt you surely?
Or am I missing something?

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 09:53

She feels bad for telling me. Yestreday I had to drop her ds off at her house, and one of her friends should have been there as she was supposed to be staying with her. When I got there my friend had been crying, I asked what was wrong and where xxxx was. So she said they had a row, so of course I asked what about. She said xxxx and xxxx were slagging off a friend of mine, I asked who and she told me.

OP posts:

ghosty · 16/10/2006 09:56

Ok, fair enough reason I suppose ...
I still would have made something up though ... if it were me, but then that's me ... I would have seen it as a problem between me and those friends rather than bring you into it IYSWIM?

Anyway, don't know what to suggest really, except that if she is a good friend of yours, you shouldn't let it get in the way of that ... just when you go out, try to make sure it isn't where those other two are ....

NotQuiteCockney · 16/10/2006 10:01

I agree with ghosty, if some people I knew were slagging off a good friend of mine, I wouldn't tell the good friend. Well, I might hint that the people in question weren't very nice people or something, so that my friend didn't put time and energy into trying to be nice to them, but I would spare her as much of the gory details as I could.

LieselVonTrappDoor · 16/10/2006 10:50

Did they give any reason? Sorry but I just cant imagine anybody not liking you.

nailpolish · 16/10/2006 10:54

the biggest reason for bitching is usually jealousy

dont take it to heart northerner, i really like you

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 10:55

Bless you

No reason, they could not substansiate their claims, she did ask them to. Just for some reason took one look at me and decided they didn't like me. I wasn't rude to them, I didn't say anything to offend them, they have even admitted this.

But I spent yesterday going over the evening in my head thinking if I could have acted differently/nicer etc.

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 16/10/2006 10:57

Agree 100% naily. Jealousy.

How can one person make two people feel uncomfortable ffs?

nailpolish · 16/10/2006 10:58

im telling you northerner, its jealousy

women rarely admit to this

NotQuiteCockney · 16/10/2006 11:00

Northerner, they sound like evil trolls. Yes, it's normal to take a dislike to someone for random reasons, we all do this, but to be two-faced and lovely to your face, and then b*tch about you loads to each other and to your mutual friend? They don't sound like the sort of people you want to have as friends, really.

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 11:01

And all of this was out in town on a Saturday night, packed bars with very loud music. How was I supposed to make them feel comfortable? Perhaps I should have offerred them a brew and plumped up their pillows?

When one of them was sitting alone cause others had gone to the loo I even started chatting to her because she didn't really know any of us. And I told the other one how fab her dress and shoes were and asked where she got them from.

OP posts:

FreakyFloss · 16/10/2006 11:02

you sure you weren't looking down their cleavage Northener? you're supposed to look them in the eyes you know....

sorry just the whole uncomfortable comment sounds like a woman talking about a man! At least they were never your friends - so their loss not yours.

DastardlyDevilishDior · 16/10/2006 11:04

Northener - If they took an instant dislike to you, I agree that it could only have been jealousy.

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 11:04

What?!!! Are you joking? I was not looking down their cleavage.

OP posts:

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 11:06

As far as jealousy goes it's such an awful trait to have, but they know nothing about my life to be jealous about.

OP posts:

HowwwlidaymumsSalemPilgrimage · 16/10/2006 11:10

You can never be liked by everybody in the same way that you probebly don't like everybody you have met.

Ignore it, they are not part of your close social circle. Concentrate on your true friends. Its their loss!

Your good friend is a good friend to stand up for you!

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 11:15

Howwldy - EXACTLY...some people just arent your cup of tea thats just how it is. But it sounds like Northerner went out of her way to be friendly FGS how old are these "women" they sound like 13 year olds.

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