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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

So 2 of my friend's friends don't like me...............

45 replies

northerner · 16/10/2006 09:22

Had a fab girls night out on Saturday, there was me, my best friend, my bext door neighbour and another good friend. Whilst out we hooked up with a nother good friend of mine (so good her ds was having a sleepover at mine and my dh was babysitting so she could go out as she is divorced)

Anyway, my friend who we met up with had 2 friends with her who decided to take an instant dislike to me. She heard them bitching about me in a pub and told them to shut up. When she got home with them she decided to bring it up as she felt it was out of order. They both told her they didn't like me, and I apparantly made them feel uncomfortable. They had a huge row and she threw them out and they are now not speaking. She is very upset that they would slag me off, when they know we are such good friends. I feel bad for her, she's had a hard tim recently and now this

Why do some grown women insist on acting like 13 year olds? I thought we all got on OK, I certainly don't know enough about them to decide I don't like them.

I can never see them again now knowing they both dislike me so much can I?

Just think what's going on with people at the moment? I was nice and polite to them all evening, and to think they were slaging me off in the pub whilst I was there! Jeez.

OP posts:

HowwwlidaymumsSalemPilgrimage · 16/10/2006 11:16

They do sound horrendous! Even if they did like me and I saw them behaving like that to anyone I wouldn't want to be friends with them! Horrid creatures.

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 11:18

God I know you can meet people and think 'hmm, not sure about you' but surely a decent person would keep this to themselves, particularly when their friend has known me for 8 years. But sounds like they were being very bitchy, am pretty sure my friend has spared me some of teh gory details.

But yes, it's all very childish.

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FreakyFloss · 16/10/2006 11:18

er yes northerner i was joking! reading back i think i missed the odd and out there sorry.

DastardlyDevilishDior · 16/10/2006 11:20

I have never been a believer in 'first impressions' because I have learnt through experience that my first impressions are usually wrong! I always give someone a chance, and have made a lot of my friends that way.

If they took against you without even speaking to you, they sound very silly. At least your friend stood up for you. She sounds like a good'un!

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 11:20

Maybe they would have been nice to your face, you only found out because your friend was upset and its nice that she stuck up for you.

I must admit I would always rather know if someone doesnt like me so I dont waste precious time on them and can just limit myself to a smiley hello with them and move on to someone more agreeable.

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 11:21

Ok freakyfloss

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GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 11:22

I usually find out that if I really like someone to start with they either end up getting on my nerves or are just very good "networkers" so not my cup of tea.

The "not sure of yous" or the more reserved people tend to be the ones I have better friendships with.

TutterIckOrTreat · 16/10/2006 11:24

oh heck, just stick yer chin out and ignore.

i know a lot of people take a dislike to me - i'm not very good at smiling and shutting up, and often say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. i'm a gobby northerner and maybe they don't always go down too well in surrey.

reassure yourself that the bitchy ones are usually the unhappy ones - why else would they bother? prob jealous/inscure.

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 11:27

Do you know what? I was wearing my footless tights, I know they divide the nation and all that

Yes, I'll blame the tights.

OP posts:

QueenPeaHead · 16/10/2006 11:35

lol northerner (at the tights I mean)

if they took an instant dislike to you I agree it was jealousy. they thought "aye up, she looks great, she is confident and chatty, she can pull off footless tights and she is a rival mate of a mate of ours, let's bitch about her because we hate people like that who make us feel inadequate"

their prob, not yours. good on your friend for sticking up for you - their attitudes won't have made her like them any more.

still v upsetting though, I can see that...

lemonaid · 16/10/2006 11:56

Oh well, with footless tights it's a wonder even your friend stood up for you...

I suspect they'll come crawling back to her -- did they maybe just have too much to drink?

inmyopinion · 16/10/2006 12:01

northener-i expect you are very attractive and probably get male attention when you are out? i would most prob take this as a reason for their bitchiness maybe they dont like the fact you get on so well with your friend? who knows, but jealousy has to be the key here because as you say,they know nothing about you personally, therefore there must be no other reason.it's their problem not yours and they need to grow up.Take comfort in the fact that you must have something they dont!!!

CheesyFeetcomingtoGETyou · 16/10/2006 12:03

They are soooo jealous northerner.

I think the fact that your mutual friend stuck up for you shows that you had done nothing wrong.

If I were you I'd console myself with the fact that someone has reason to be jealous of you

Quadrofiendia · 16/10/2006 12:11

hey northener, don't feel too bad about this, women like that are not worth the effort. think your friend probably realises they are not the people she thought they were so you have probably done her a huge favour!

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 12:19

LOL id have to worry about your sanity in footless tights (getting a flashdance image in my head now)...and if you DID look good in them - which is an achievement in my book - then that probably explains it.

Wear an anorak next time you'll probably be best buddies.

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 12:19

Don't know about very attractive, but I'm not half bad

Just didn't thnk grown women made assumptions like this but you live and learn I guess.

OP posts:

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 12:24

Since DS1 has been at school I have found that there is an "element" who have not moved on and still have the school mentality. Lifes too short - sod em I say.

yorkshirelass79 · 16/10/2006 12:46

Message withdrawn

lemonaid · 16/10/2006 12:49

Could they have been jealous that your mutual friend was such good friends with you (that combined with your radiant gorgeousness, of course...)?

Original poster

northerner · 16/10/2006 12:54

Hi Yorkshirelass! (YL is my best friend and was out with me on Sat)

Thinking about it, it can only be that they were jealous. How sad they must be hey?

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