Giving up my son.

[umbrellabird]

I am really struggling looking after my son on my own. His father has left for overseas( we have been separated awhile) but my dear boy is in grief mode.He walks around constantly with the iPad waiting for his dad to call.
I want to suggest just one or two calls a week, but neither his dad or my son are happy with this. I am worried that he is not living his little life here, and is just focused on the 'time' overseas etc..I have lost my kind gentle little happy soul to a world of sadness.
His father is/was abusive and his only answer to all this is 'let him come and live with me.' DS misses him sooo much I sometimes wonder if I am being selfish by keeping him here with me. But we live in a beautiful village by the sea, he has a good school and we have wonderful friends. Where as Dad lives in Asia in a tiny apartment with a miserable girlfriend.
Anyone ideas would be most welcome.

"There is a trip booked for him to fly with his sister to Asia coming up, and I really don't know if it is the right thing to do."

Do you mean the trip is for your son to go to Asia to see his dad there? If his dad is abusive, I'd be very wary of letting him go in case his dad does not allow him to return.

It must be so hard for you - I have seen friends go through divorces and the children do find it hard initially - what seems to make the difference long term is whether the parents can be amicable and make sure the child knows that it is not them, it is the parents' decision, and entirely to do with the parents' feelings about one another. Please don't let your son go to a household where he has as a role model an abusive man making his new partner's life a misery. You have to ride out the hurt and confusion your son is feeling, but you are the right parent for him to be with. I hope your counsellor can help you with this.

If his dads willing to let your son live with him, then say he has to come rent a hotel when ds is on holiday from school n they can spend the week together which will keep ds happy and give him something to look forward to... A friend if mine used to go to her dads on hols but that was only in skeggy