Hello,
I hope this is the right place to try to garner support for / find would-be fellow followers of the above; have read a few threads on here and joined today with hope of finding this...
In brief: is there anyone else out there who is, quite simply, wrung out - emotionally - with the attempt to find a new boyfriend / partner online? I have just been through another gutting experience and realised that I need to be kind to myself and have a total break from actively seeking out a new man in this way.
I have been on my own with my children for five years now and apart from one short-term relationship with a truly lovely guy (but not right for me, alas), these years have been peppered with all sorts of scenarios - some I was happy with as they suited me; others weren't quite what they seemed and ended in minor heartache for me.
My most recent experience - met a lovely-seeming man in mid-November; tried to go slow but got caught up in feeling good / sexy / wanted (it had been a while...!). He talked about going away together after Christmas for a couple of days, had rearranged his weekends so we could be child-free at the same time, talked about the summer...spent a lovely evening and night together in the week before Christmas, we seemed to start opening up to one another and he told me some very personal things about his past...that evening, though, he warned me that he finds Christmas difficult and goes into a "cave" for a while; the idea of going away became hazy and vague, which made me anxious and I told him that I don't deal well with uncertainty and would rather we definitely had a plan, or not - he didn't seem to get this. He slept in my bed that night, all lovely, then left early for work. Then followed near text silence for two days - I am not keen on texting but he had established a frequent pattern - followed by an out-of-the -blue brief message telling me that it wouldn't work between us, that I am a nice woman but not his type...It was horrible. I asked him to ring as he owed me a conversation; he said that he would but I have heard nothing. He has disappeared.
The entire experience has left me reeling; I thought my radar was better attuned, thought he seemed genuine, and decent. I had made clear that I didn't want a casual fling, and he had stressed his need to be with someone he could share his free time with.
So, in addition to needing to work out what went wrong here - and he has selfishly given me no idea/conversation - I need to to step away from OLD for a few months - six?? - and work further on that currently malaligned (wrong word, but you get my drift....) radar...fill time with other activities...the downside is that I am, at times, genuinely lonely and crave intimacy and closeness - this is what has been drawing me into the OLD all along...
Any of this resonate with anyone out there? If so, let's try and do this together..go into the new year with a sense of purpose and out-there support - ?