I have just let my best friend down so badly

[mortifiedbymyownbadmanners]

Oh no, My best friend just called. My son and I have just finished our first simple meal in what feels like weeks- just the two of us (again in what feels like weeks).
My friend calls and says "where are you?- you are supposed to be here for dinner".

I remember her calling on boxing day when I had my family here for a very stressful dinner and I had been cooking and sipping all day. I remember arranging to go over for dinner with her. But my memory has is the date of our dinner as the 2nd Jan. She had it as tonight.

She is quietly angry- I am gushingly apologetic. I feel like a shit friend. We are long standing good friends but this is a rotten thing to do. I cannot go to her now as I have had wine with dinner and cannot drive. She has cooked and is going away tomorrow.

Apart from mea culpa in huge volumes is there anything anyone can suggest to make ammends? I have upset her badly.

Perhaps it was the 2nd and she had it wrong. Mistakes can be made. She need to get over it!

I am sure she will get over it. You have apologised and it seems to be a genuine error. Perhaps send her a nice card reinforcing what you have told her. These things happen. If she is a good friend she will come round.

Can you offer to cook dinner the day she gets back?
I forgot a Sunday lunch invite once & friend was cross - I ended up going very late as they only call when you are already late & it was 40 minutes drive away...

If she's a good friend, she'll come round to it. Can you invite her to you when she's back to make up for it?

She is correct, she described the other things I said I was doing today which were all done as planned. I know she is right and I am wrong now that I think about it.

It was all my mistake. Absolutely mine.

Eitherway, is it just me or when arrangements like this are made, I/they usually text during the day with a "still ok for later?" or similar.

Twas a genuine mistake, it'll all blow over.

She is a good friend and we both know that we forgive each other but I just feel so bad about this one.

I've sent a text saying sorry again and I will get her some flowers but I am beating myself up. I think I just have to accept that I am crap today but will be less crap tomorrow.

Oh, and maybe no wine for a few days! :(

If she is a good friend, she will get over it. It was quite obviously a mistake which we all make especially when you have a hundred and one other things to think about.
Maybe send her some flowers and offer to cook for her next time.

For goodness' sake - it was a genuine mistake by you.

I actually can't believe that she made it clear to you that she was very annoyed - i actually think that's actually very rude unless you have form for this?

Going by the title of the thread, I thought you had done something awful; like having an affair with her DH

Bof, these things happen. Its not like you did it on purpose. Hate it when people get super annoyed over innocent mistakes, if you'd killed her cat or shagged her man then fair enough but its only forgetfulness! I'd send her a card that she'll get when shes back from being away and maybe a bottle of wine or something too, and then invite her to yours for dinner soon to make it up to her.

i'd be pretty pissed off too if I'm honest.

This is a single friend who does not have a man and who is accutely aware of her singledom and needs her friends around her. We both know how important reliability is between us which is why she is pissed off (and I am not upset with her for telling me she is cross- she is being honest and assertive) and dinner at mine will not do, this is the norm, dinner at hers is not the norm and was therefore a bit more special.

Lemis- I would also be pissed off, and that has got me to thinking what would I want to make me feel better. And the answer is... time. So I think, thanks to this space for making me think it through; that all I can do is let it go, feel my shame and make sure I do not do it again.

My in laws did this to me once - cooked the full Sunday roast and they'd totally forgotten. I was cross at the time but of course anyone can make a mistake and we laughed about it next time I saw them - I'm sure your friend will too

i'd be pretty pissed off too if I'm honest.

Personally I like my friends to be humans, not robots obeying every instruction without anything impacting on their lives.

So what if someone does something different to the arrangements, usually there is good reason [because I choose good people as friends, not complete arseholes].

of course they are but having spent time cooking what i assume is a nice dinner as well as having to buy for said dinner, looking forward to the evening i don't think it is unreasonable to be pissed off if the other person doesn't show.

i would probably do my best to hide my feelings but id be lying if i said i wasn't pissed off.

She is lovely and also lonely. This is more about me than her. And I am getting to have to face my problem. I had wine, I forgot my best friend. The awful truth is dawning and I don't want to face it. Wine is not my best friend. This is what I have to remember and act upon. Starting tomorrow.

The dry thread calls.

I knew it would one day.

lemis- I am with you, she is honest and good and not being pissy just telling me how she feels. That is my wake up call. Thanks. :)

That's a bit harsh FunkyR and obviously the OP' s mate is not robotic because she's a little miffed she's spent time preparing/cooking/looking forward to bring with friend, for someone who was a no snow.

OP - I am sure she's cross now but will get it back into perspective with your friendship (unless you are serial no-show) and be fine. Though you might be cooking next time! It's the sort of thing that makes you cringe but it was an honest error.

My bfs would laugh. Aaah, silly billy. That's all! Please don't feel bad, it was a genuine mistake! I'd possibly book a meal out or something, for when she returns? Just because it would be a nice treat to look forward to

FFS Ribena - most people would be upset to be let down by a friend like this. Nobody expects anyone to be a "robot".

Your posts across the site are just weird. Seems like you are trying a bit too hard to be "edgy" or something. Grow up.

OP...she's entitled to be upset, but she'll get over it. Flowers are a good idea :)

Oh for ducks sake.... auto predictive text....

No show not no snow...

It's fine that she's pissed off at you atm. She'll get over it but not now.

Can't people recognize and understand that it's fine for the friend to feel the way she does? Spending time and money to buy and prepare dinner and then someone forgets. No acknowledgment for the other person's feelings.

OP do something nice for her when she gets back. Your idea of flowers is a good idea.

Ducks.... Oh I give up.