so..who had a heartbreak this year?

[FrogIsATwatInASantaHat]

I've been reading some really upsetting threads from MN'ers who are just going through a break up. Its a terrible time of year given that its the season! !
I have read lots of inspirational threads this year from posters whose lives have improved X amount of time after a split so I thought I would add this one so hopefully those of us who have recent splits (2014) can perhaps give a little hope to the VERY recently parted.
At the time (September ) I could barely function but my positives...
Meeting new friends. People who make my sides split with laughter.
Signing up for a walking challenge next year. I haven't done any serious walking since before children (11 years )
The joint business xp and I set up has boomed.
I no longer burst into tears at the drop of a hat.
hearing xp is miserable with OW

[FrogIsATwatInASantaHat]

Oh you poor thing. When is he going? ideservemore

[IDeserveMore]

Wish I knew. He wants to wait until the settlement and then buy somewhere. Even dc2 has made it very clear we need 2homes immediately and he still won't go. But is happy to live the single life, going out whenever he feels like it, coming in drunk at all hours, and treating the house like a hotel and me like a babysitter.
Would never have believed it was possible to feel such loathing for someone I loved so much once upon a time.

[Loriens]

to all of you and hoping that 2015 finds some rest and peace from all the heartbreak for everyone.

WWK thank you for the lovely comments and constant support over the past few months

[IDeserveMore]

Mummyoftwingirls, have just re-read your earlier post. 1.5 weeks? Oh my love. That is so so recent. Can't adequately describe how it felt at that stage - like being in thick fog I think.
Sending you lots of love, big hugs for your gorgeous girls and the strength to get through Christmas.
Take care xxx

[Brandnewstart]

Just adding myself to this... Separated from husband a month ago. He had been having an affair . But I have my children and my parents here so I am blessed.

Love to you all. It's hard but hopefully 2015 will be better for us all x

[mummyoftwingirls]

IDeserveMore yes it was and still is a huge shock.

i know there is lots to lay at my door, ive been very unhappy and bacame resentful as he never seemed to listen...but i never stopped loving him or wanting to make it work somehow...we have such busy lives that our relationship went by the wayside and i think we both lost respect for eachother along the way too.
He never made time for me/us and again i sought solace in my girls and solitary pursuits.
hence i feel like ive let my girls down.

[mummyoftwingirls]

on the plus side though, i can now tell ppl w/o bursting into tears and i can accept a hug and come away dry eyed....mostly anyway.

so im begining to function again. got to stay strong for my girls. xx

ive found some wonderful friends too xxxxxxxxx

[Postcardsfromtheedge]

This year has been hell for me. I am hoping that next year will be better. I just hate having to have contact as we have children. I am still trying to repair the damage he has done to my confidence but it will take a long time. I also feel blighted in some way as I don't think I will ever trust anyone completely ever again.

[Pandora37]

DollyRocker I've never been sure that I wanted to get married or have children. I used to feel jealous of others when I was younger who had those things but as I've got older I've become more convinced that's not the life for me. I wanted marriage and children with him rather than just as an abstract concept, if that makes sense. Maybe I'll meet someone again one day who makes me feel the same way but I won't be holding my breath.

My ex wasn't a commitment phobe at all, quite the opposite in fact. He was TOO keen to start off and I was thinking woah, slow down a bit! He is however a very troubled soul and someone told me she thinks I attract troubled men and I think she's right. Whether that's because I'm slightly troubled myself or have a bit of a rescuer complex I don't know. He was badly abused as a child but had never had any therapy or help for it and was struggling with nightmares and feeling angry all the time. I tried to encourage him to get help but he refused and I didn't want to keep bringing it up in case it upset him. So I just brushed it under the carpet. I can't believe I was so stupid now. He was never going to just get over something like that and be able to lead a normal life without dealing with it. I feel like a major bitch for saying this but if I'm ever in a relationship again with someone who has suffered major abuse and refuses to get help to deal with it, I will walk away. I'm not putting myself through that again.

I'm definitely not ready for anything else. I don't think I will be able to fully move on until he's been to court and been sentenced (he was arrested, which is why I ended the relationship). You know what the criminal justice system is like, they like to drag it out as long as possible.

It's good that you're able to recognise patterns of behaviour in your relationships, that stands you in good stead for the future. Don't feel in a rush to get with anyone else, I know it's going to take me a long time to get over what my ex did, years most likely.

[FrogIsATwatInASantaHat]

Pandora thats so shocking. I can understand how that must have been more upsetting than a normal break up.