so..who had a heartbreak this year?

[FrogIsATwatInASantaHat]

I've been reading some really upsetting threads from MN'ers who are just going through a break up. Its a terrible time of year given that its the season! !
I have read lots of inspirational threads this year from posters whose lives have improved X amount of time after a split so I thought I would add this one so hopefully those of us who have recent splits (2014) can perhaps give a little hope to the VERY recently parted.
At the time (September ) I could barely function but my positives...
Meeting new friends. People who make my sides split with laughter.
Signing up for a walking challenge next year. I haven't done any serious walking since before children (11 years )
The joint business xp and I set up has boomed.
I no longer burst into tears at the drop of a hat.
hearing xp is miserable with OW

Split from my ex in March. I wasn't expecting it so shocked me beyond belief. Couldn't sleep for more than an hour a night for 2 weeks. I realised that I had lost myself in the relationship and took me a good 6 weeks until I got my sense of self back.

I split from my ex in June but the fall-out from it lasted a good 3 or 4 months. It was a horrible shock as I was thinking that I would marry him and have children and he told me something that changed everything in the space of about 5 minutes. So I had to grieve for the loss of my relationship but also for the loss of the future that I thought I was going to have and that was very hard.

6 months on I'm doing okay. I still feel very sad but I'm glad it happened before I'd made any kind of major commitment to him. The first 3 months were hell, I was crying all the time and very confused about what had happened. I reached out to others and have had some good support so I feel very lucky. I've also never really thought I was going to get married or have children so I'm back in that mindset now and I'm planning on being long term single. I want to focus on my career as I find relationships very hard work and I hate feeling so emotionally vulnerable and needy. I felt like I needed him and I've found over the past few months that actually I cope just fine without him and the things I've achieved I've done without his support, it was all me. I know I can cope on my own now and that's very liberating. I also know if he gets with someone else I'll feel like I've been kicked in the stomach but there's no going back now so will just have to accept it. I have the option to move away next year so I might do it for a fresh start, I'm keeping my options open.

I'm trying to look at my relationship as fun whilst it lasted and the whole marriage thing was a nice pipe dream but now I can achieve the things I wanted to do which would have been very difficult when in a relationship. I'm sure people out there pity me for being "unlucky in love" as I've had some horrible break-ups but I am very fortunate in my life in other ways and I count my blessings every day.

My beautiful dog, after weeks of treatment, was PTS. Broke my heart. : - (

Varya, I feel your pain! That is worse than a relationship break up for me. A dog gives you it's love from the day you get it til the day it dies. Exactly what men should do but sadly many don't!

Keep smiling ladies. Events in the world in the last few weeks make me realise how lucky I am.

You will all come through and your sad exes will probably carry on being cheats and twats for the rest of their lives!

Happy Xmas everyone and here's to a better 2015 for you all xx

Feeling very sad. Got a text from exes daughter asking if I had the spanish apartment keys. Nothing like a reminder he is trotting off to Spain with his new woman... still as sickoffrozen says events in the world should give us some
perspective.

To all you lovely ladies ( and any lurking men)
Have a happy Christmas and a brighter 2015.

Thank you, sickoffrozen, dogs give unconditional love; men don't.

This year for me has to be the worst, broke both ankles in Feb, then in June my partner of 16 yrs uped and left for a younger model, this broke me and my teenage son :( started a job that I loved in October but 6 weeks later i nearly died in an accident that wasn't my fault. Head injury broken bones and two operations later and one more on the cards, I was told yesterday that I no longer have my job to go back to. But I have met and fallen in love with a great guy, who feels the same way :) things happen for a reason, I truly believe that.

Merry Christmas everyone x

Pandora I could have written your post pretty much word for word. Although I don't think we should shut ourselves away from the opportunity to get married or have children in the future. I wonder if when we think we're not cut out for relationships we subconsciously pick men who can't go the distance so if becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I was reading this post on Baggage Reclaim yesterday and it's me to a tea - www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/a-tale-of-two-commitment-resistant-birds-are-you-hiding-your-commitment-fears-behind-someone-elses-more-obvious-commitment-issues/

In the last couple of months I've started going on a few online dates, although deep done I'm still feel quite conflicted and vulnerable.

Varya

Just hitting the sherry??. Lying, cheating, DH not back from work(?) yet so just me and dd. Xmas going to be hard after 30 years-many flashpoints beckon- but feeling bolshy and strong. This man will NOT pee on my cornflakes.

Already formed an "exit" plan. Discovered some fab, supportive friends and rediscovered some old ones. And Mumsnet has been great: thanks all.

Really looking forward to the New Year now and wondering what it will bring.

And, like some Pps said "fake it till you make it".

Just had a shitty, snidey text from my ex. Fucking prick

Hello frog I remember your thread in Sept and it's great to see you are getting stronger. To all of you, I raise my glass and wish you a happier new year

It's been almost 2 years to the day that stbxh walked out. We're still not divorced and he's dragging it on and on and I just want it over. DC are with him for Xmas Eve until Xmas Afternoon so for the first time in a long time, I am alone tonight but....

Spent this afternoon making a ridiculous Bavarian Raspberry Gateau for DD (took over 4hrs!), they both have the present they asked Santa for waiting for them to come home to, we are having nibbles for tea so no slaving over a hot oven and I went on my first date in over 10 yrs a week ago.. not going anywhere but it was nice to feel attractive

Although I am sometimes lonely, I look at the relationship I have with my beautiful DC and thank the stars that he left... I can honestly, hand on heart say that I wouldn't go back - you could not pay me!

Onwards and upwards lovely ladies - the future is what we make it and whilst it's hard and scary, it is always totally worth it

Life is very different to how I wanted it but my god, am I glad to

Yetwig, what an awful time for you.

Not sure where that last sentence popped up from (must be the Baileys that I have been supping to help me create this beast of a cake )

THINGS THAT HELP: tea. it def helps. a bit. and someone to talk to. good friends. really good friends....and knowing that sadly i am not alone....

1.5wks now since my DH told me he wants to separate. no one else. just seemingly insurmountable problems.
3yr old twin girls, 2 dogs and a new house.....and now it will all change.

im not expecting miracles but i feel stronger today than i did last week.
i hope i will feel stronger again next week. and so on........

we have much to sort out and i just hope we can do it right for our girls.
i also hope this is what he really does want cos if he changes his mind later....i dont think i could by then. i dont know. but i dont think i could.

i hope next year brings better times, for all of us. xxx

I've just started a thread because we appear to have norovirus. It gets better and better... not.

mummy
That's very recent

I have, my partner of 18 months dumped me out of the blue a few months ago. His dad went into hospital and seemingly he couldn't cope with that and a relationship at the same time Weirdly though, I got over my initial upset very quickly. I cried my eyes out for two days but that was it, maybe I wasn't as keen on him as I thought I was! I have been seeing someone I met online for a month now and I really like him, we chat all the time between dates and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about him saddo Hopefully this will work out better.

Have split up today with on-off boyfriend of 7 months. Have cried all day.

In many ways it shouldn't hurt this much but I feel like I'm completely grieving for a lack of love if that makes sense? For the last 3 years with ex-p I felt totally unloved then single for 18months after that. I feel like I have a huge hole in my life/heart that I need the love of another adult to fill.

, and a vow of "Onwards!" to everyone.

IKEA I feel
Exactly that

Frog, yup, very recent.
heart very broken/frozen/shocked....even if lots my fault still was huge shock.
i cant describe adequately how sad this makes me, esp for our 2 beautiful gorgeous girls who love their mummy and daddy massively.

i feel like ive let them down xx

After 12 tortuous months, and 3-4 really difficult years before that my husband ended our 17yr marriage in September. Have been through every emotion known : despair, devastation, fury, murderous intent, self-loathing, and finally, having summoned up the courage to have the divorce papers delivered last week, relief. Until tonight, when, as he refuses to move out, we filled the kids stockings in silence. put presents under the tree in silence, and I have gone to bed. So so sad. Can't believe that it's come to this.

IDeserveMore; thats so very sad. dont know what to say.

Told H we were over in September, knew, (prob for the 100th time) knew he wouldn't leave so I did mid-november. Good days and bad days, don't see as much of DSs (16 & 18) as I'd like but everyone's routine is shot at this time of year. Looking forward to 2015 setting up more regular contact with my boys and rebuilding my social life.

Yesterday he was texting asking what he can do to make it right.... After 23yrs, that's too little too late!!