Eek what do I do

[Js1983]

I really don't know how to play this but here goes....

Ive always liked this guy in work but never was sure he liked me. Always teased me but I've never done anything.

i was on my Xmas works do and after a couple of hrs way he was with me changed. When he went out for a fag after talking to me he kissed me on the head and put his arm round me.

then spent rest of night kissing and cuddling each other. He said he thought I was really cool and how pretty I was yet day after didn't hear anything from him.

i really like him but I don't want to b disappointed

jl : this is all happening in your head. There is no relationship here.

We are telling you he doesn't fancy you because he is making no effort to actually be with you. Getting someone's number, asking them out, calling them with a specific plan for a date... THAT is the MINIMUM effort a person can do if they are interested in a relationship with someone.

He's not doing any of that, is he? He's being lazy: drunken snogs take no effort. None at all. All he's done is successfully mess with your head with kisses and telling you that you are beautiful. But where is the effort to actually be in a relationship with you? There is none. He is all talk and no trousers.

Please come back to earth, love. You are only hurting yourself.

jl... You are clinging onto this for some reason:
Thing is one of the work colleagues posted a pic with us with our arms round each other and it's slightly embarrassing as they have made remarks

I'd suggest that the reason why you're doing that is because deep down you KNOW that this was a one-off, alcohol-fuelled flirtation. That's what your instinct is telling you, or trying to. However, you want to ignore that and are trying to bolster your feelings by pouncing on that posted pic as some kind of 'proof' that people see you as a 'couple', a pair, a match.

I'd go so far as to say that the 'remarks' are the usual 'oafish' remarks made to men and even to you, they're not highly flattering otherwise you would have posted them.

I feel very sorry for you because you sell yourself so short. A man (several men?) treat you badly and because you're so desperate for attention and validation as an attractive and lovable woman that you'll settle for - and be satisfied - with this... this non-event. Can you not see it for what it was? Goats has hit the nail on the head really, she has. I think you know this deep inside you and that's why you're sad and frustrated.

There are other men out there, jl, ones that will not mess about with you but you need to be happy in yourself and with your own company so that you can spot them. Many of us have been where you are and we're willing you on to shrug this one off before you really get hurt.

wow.

a fumbled snog gets 2 threads...

can I have a whole topic to myself for a mis-guided ONS?

love, if he were interested in you, he'd make sure you knew. he's not, and he isn't.

you are now making a total tit of yourself, and trotting into the 'will have to change jobs' territory, unless you wake up and get real.

sorry, but this isn't going to be a relationship.